Social Question

Jude's avatar

My g/f just made vegetarian chili with 5 types of beans in it. We each had a bowl an hour ago and we're already in trouble. What sort of beans give you gas?

Asked by Jude (31966 points ) October 30th, 2011

Should be an interesting night.

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31 Answers

JilltheTooth's avatar

In my experience? All of them. Have a lovely night, laugh a lot, and be glad the car keys were found!!! XD

XOIIO's avatar

Don’t have sex, unless you like taking risks.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I rinse them several times while soaking. That seems to help. Change the water a few times and good luck. Or screw it and try lighting a few of them. It might be worth a laugh.

Jude's avatar

No 69in’. :)

lillycoyote's avatar

LOL. The two of you are having quite a full day, aren’t you?

AstroChuck's avatar

Rowen Atkinson.

Seriously, pinto beans, black beans, black-eyed peas, and garbanzo (chick pea) beans are probably your best bet for low gas. These beans are all fairly benign, in regards to farting.

tinyfaery's avatar

You will not be making that at my house.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

All beans! tee hee hee. Get a bottle of beano type tablets to keep at home so you can enjoy broccoli fests, bean pots and mountains of cheese.

Coloma's avatar

I see the title of a novel ” Keys ‘n beans’ a satire on inanity ” haha

Kardamom's avatar

Some beans are more “farty” than others, then there are preparations for beans that are “less farty” than others.

You can read about bean prep and here is a bean flatulence rating

You might be able to use Beano before you eat a meal with beans or other gassy veggies such as Brussels sprouts or cabbage.

zenvelo's avatar

Did you make it back to the US? That might not be legal in Canada…

You might as well enjoy it. Remember, it’s a mutual thing; as long as she is putting up with your, you have to put up with hers.

bob_'s avatar

See here.

Also, here.

bkcunningham's avatar

Which beans give you gas? The ones you eat.

bkcunningham's avatar

Eat buttered cornbread with your beans next time. It doesn’t stop you from farting, but it makes them less stinky.

linguaphile's avatar

Next time, for added novelty, try the 12 bean soup. XD

Kardamom's avatar

You know, back in the old days, before there was a chicken pox vaccine, parents used to hold pox parties, in which they would have a kid with chicken pox come to someone’s house to purposely the infect other kids, because it was much safer to endure chicken pox as a child and get it over with than it was to get it when you were a teen or an adult, because then it was much more dangerous.

In the spirit of the old days, maybe you ladies could throw a Fart Party and invite everyone to come over and enjoy chili and saurkraut and and stuffed cabbage leaves and nachos. Nobody would able to blame the dog, because everyone would be tooting their own horn, if you get my (smelly) drift. Hee Hee.

Sunny2's avatar

I don’t think green beans are a problem. Dried beans are the culprits. I also endorse Beano. As old ladies often are, I’m occasionally embarrassed by gas and did some research on how to cut down on the incidents. As a result, I no longer drink from straws. No carbonated drinks. Avoid cabbage. Take Beano before chili and similar foods. That’s helped a lot.
Once, when I was teaching 6th grade, a boy let one fly and all the girls ran screaming to the other side of the room. When they’d calmed down and were seated, I said to the boy, “Did you ever try to light one of those?” Everybody laughed and he never did it again. If I was still teaching, I could be the culprit.

bkcunningham's avatar

Tooting their own horn. Haha, @Kardamom. That was cute. Don’t forget the liver and onions.

Did you @Sunny2?

poopnest's avatar

Taking a glass of water, one cup with one teaspoon of baking soda after the meal ideally within 20 minutes would help reduce gas from digesting the beans. All beans have a sugar in them that humans can’t digest and that makes the bacteria in our digestive tract get busy with fart production. I hate that I love beans but refuse to eat them because of my butt exploding every time. Now, I have to share the following. Happy reading you two! www.fartnames.com

mrrich724's avatar

When my wife makes 5 bean and turkey chili, we already know we’re F’d for the night and the next day!!!

Good luck!

bkcunningham's avatar

@poopnest, (heehee, that is funny) too much bicarbonate soda on your belly and in your intestines isn’t good for you.

Dicuevasmart's avatar

all of them but mostly the pinto beans. I am sorry for both of you crack the window and put the fan on. Good luck.

Kardamom's avatar

Tonight you will have a dream in which you get a knock on the door. Knock, knock, knock. “Open up! This is Officer Flatulencia from the Defartment of Colerectals, ahem, I mean Corrections. One of your neighbors complained that there might be a gas leak in your spouse, ahem, I mean house. Maybe I could just come in for a moment and take a sniff around. Hmm it looks like you two ladies were having a wild farty, ahem I mean party in here, but it looks like you swallowed all of the evidence.”

bkcunningham's avatar

Oh, it would have been a hoot if your new neighbor had come and introduced herself to you two tonight. tee hee @Jude, have you meet her yet. Did you hear something?

woodcutter's avatar

Jelly beans are the only safe bet. Enjoy.

AstroChuck's avatar

@woodcutter- Except for the jalapeƱo flavored ones.

whitetigress's avatar

5 different beans? Wow. Any foods with oligosaccharides (a type of sugar) will give you gas =/

poopnest's avatar

@bkcunningham How much is too much anyway? Just curious. Thanks!

jonsblond's avatar

Jon made chili today with venison, northern beans and kidney beans. We’ve all been stinkin’ the house up tonight. Include those two beans on your list of gassiest beans.

lillycoyote's avatar

@bkcunningham LOL. I totally forgot about that! @Jude‘s had such a full weekend I forgot that last night’s dilemma was the introducing herself to her new neighbor business. Yes, not something one wants to happen when one it at one’s fartiest. (using all those “ones” just seemed to dignify the conversation for me). And yes, it’s a good thing @Jude‘s neighbor isn’t making too many observations of her. :- ) “I was going to come over and introduce myself the other night but the two of you seemed to be farting a lot and I thought maybe it wasn’t a good time.” LOL. Sorry, @Jude, I just couldn’t help myself on that one. :- ) I’m being very bad tonight.

Bellatrix's avatar

There was just a news flash on the TV.

“Odorous gas detected crossing the Pacific Ocean and heading towards Australia from the United States. Australians are warned to remain indoors and if available, to bring out the WWII gas masks”.

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