@JLeslie It really depends on what your definition of “addicted” is. If it’s watching more than x hours of porn a day/week/month/year (as many studies calculate it by), then depending on the exact amount of porn one has to watch, yes. If it’s addicted in the sense that he was unable to function in everyday life – not going to work to watch porn, for example – then no. If it’s addicted in the sense that he was unable to be physically and/or emotionally intimate with me, no, all of the guys who’ve had intimacy issues had them come from somewhere else (like an abusive childhood, regular but severe commitment issues, etc).
@tnatwo14 Yes, amateur means non-industry, but they can still charge for it, like webcam services, stuff on amateur sites, etc. The 60% is just common knowledge – Wikipedia that shit (and actually, I feel like I’ve seen some numbers saying that since the internet, and especially in the past 5 years with webcams, Tube sites, high-speed connections, etc, it’s gotten higher). But the reason I bring up amateur porn is that it is a huge part of hetero porn, and especially free hetero video porn, free being what most underage and college-aged people consume, especially if they’re staying away from illegal downloads (for whatever reason). So, if this gagging is such an issue, then maybe we need to start questioning the kind of sex we as a society are having, not the kind of sex professional porn stars are having in LA. And then we should probably ask if we want to be questioning the kind of sex consenting adults are having.
It’s not so much that I don’t think porn could possibly be, and that some porn is, reinforcing misogynistic attitudes. It’s that I don’t understand why porn is, by and large, the only thing that appears to be reinforcing them. Where are all these objections to Disney and other children’s media that says that girls are passive and unable to stand up for themselves, so why even bother to think she could stand up for herself in sex (Disney and children’s media shaping the sexuality of children long before they start watching porn) ? Where are all the critiques of a common tv plotline, in which a normally strong female character, who hasn’t had contact with her father in years because he’s a shit father, has her normally respectful boyfriend decide that he knows better and against her explicitly stated boundary brings her father back into her life, and then asks that still-estranged father for permission to marry her, as if her boundaries don’t matter and clearly no amount of estrangement means that a man’s word isn’t more important than a woman’s? Where are all the threads critiquing the commonality of the Barney Stinson character (from How I Met Your Mother, but the trope is a sitcom staple), in which an actually awesome character (and let’s be real, there are many ways in which Barney is actually legen-wait for it-dary) also treats nameless bimbo characters as disposable, constantly scheming to get them into bed and disregarding their ‘no’s and other boundaries? Where are all the objections to the way domestic violence is portrayed in popular men’s and women’s magazines next to the grocery store check-out line in which, as one study recently put it, “Women are guilty of choosing the wrong men, men are not guilty of hitting women”? Where are all the objections to the new holiday, Steak and BJ Day, in which men are owed steak and a blowjob, because when women gave them blowjobs on Valentine’s Day after they got flowers, or both partners exchanged gifts and had mutually pleasurable sex, just isn’t good enough, and the scales really must remain in men’s favor? It seems like we as a society send out tons and tons of messages every day that men should not respect women’s boundaries, and women shouldn’t set boundaries in the first place, so all of this focus on porn seems like focusing on one part of one tree in a giant forest.
Composing members:
0
