General Question

the_overthinker's avatar

How do I redeem myself?

Asked by the_overthinker (1252 points ) March 14th, 2012

I feel as though I’ve been acting somewhat rude this week… you could even say I was a b*tch. I feel bad, and I think I’ve made some regrettable impressions on some of my co-workers and friends. Just the things I’ve said, and the way I’ve acted. There is definitely a line between being just plain rude, and being honest.

Should I apologize for my realized behavior? I do not want people to see me as a cocky and arrogant person… as that’s not who I am usually. (not having a good day ) Or should I just show them that I am not.. and hope that this week did not leave a weighty impression?

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16 Answers

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Being forthright about your behavior would be a good gesture toward building trust with your co-workers. Apologize and don’t repeat the rudeness.

ETpro's avatar

Yes, apologize, if you think you may have hurt someone’s feelings. Tell them you were just having a bad day. Most of us get in a snit from time to time, and we understand when someone else does so long as they walk it back when they are feeling better.

jazmina88's avatar

I told my nephew I’ve been a bitch this week. Lettin others know you admit there is something going on, with honesty is good.

augustlan's avatar

I’d apologize, too. It doesn’t have to be too serious, but something like “Hey, sorry I’ve been a pain in the ass this week. Not my finest moment.” can go a long way.

Cruiser's avatar

Do apologize and acknowledge your boorish behavior. Don’t make too many excuses and be honest as to what may have set you off. Don’t make it all about you though, if there is a person(s) who you may have turned off in a negative way try to validate how your words and actions may have made them feel about knowing you and that will go a long way to demonstrating humility and empathy for your behavior.

Rock2's avatar

Apologizing is not nearly as important as not doing it again. You have to repair the damage. Think of something nice you can do for them. How about doughnuts?

marinelife's avatar

Apologizing cannot hurt. It can only help. It will also open a dialogue so you can see how your behavior actually appeared to your co-workers.

marmoset's avatar

Yes, and you could keep the tone fairly light, if it’s appropriate for your workplace—“Wow, I’ve realized I had a hard week and I was very tough to work with. Sorry about that. Let’s start fresh and I’ll work on not __ in the future.”

Coloma's avatar

Yes, clearly you have the awareness to see your behavior for what it was, rude and bitchy, so apologize and pay attention to your inner self in the future before you go off on innocent people. Taking ones bad moods out on others IS abuse, and there is no excuse for abuse.
A one time bad moment with a sincere apology is one thing, but, make no mistake about it, if you continue to be emotionally sloppy and unpredictable you will lose friends, work, and build a reputation as a difficult person.

Time to serve up a big slab of humble pie, with a side of crow. lol

Shippy's avatar

At least you are aware of it, loads are not. I’d just apologize for being a pain in the butt. Then move on.

6rant6's avatar

Donuts. Seriously.

My SO had some contention at work with coworkers, one in particular. She brought in donuts (GREAT donuts) and the woman with whom she’d been squabbling was suddenly her BFF. And everyone else was all smiles.

Donuts, I’m telling you.

john65pennington's avatar

Like I have always said, “you never get a second chance to make a first impression”.

You have a second chance and be humble. They will respect you more than you could imagine.

Jeruba's avatar

With the folks at work, an apology is in order. Once they’re wary of you (wary, not weary), once they have a bad impression, new behavior will be received and interpreted in the light of the impression already formed. If possible, if there’s still time, you want to change the filter through which they’re going to see everything you do.

If there’s any one person you were especially rough with, seek that person out for a private apology. The same for two or three. If you were awful with everybody, you may have to say a brief word at a staff meeting.

With friends who’ve known you longer and with whom you have a personal relationship, you want to keep things warm and comfortable, don’t you? Say what you need to say.

There’s no sense in holding back the peacemaking words when you didn’t hold back the angry words.

Skaggfacemutt's avatar

I like @6rant6 ‘s idea. You could bring donuts, bagels, or frosted shamrock cookies. Just walk in and address the office as a whole “I brought goodies to make up for being in such a bad mood all week – Sorry everyone! Just smack me if I do that again!”

That is what I would do, anyway. I try to keep things light.

Sunny2's avatar

A box of chocolates with a note: “because I’ve been acting like a bitch and I’m sorry”

Doctanian's avatar

Be a good person, try to correct the wrongs you’ve committed.

If you input more good into the world than evil, you’re fine.

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