If you are not an animal, what are you?

I think I’m a Cylon.

I am an animal.
According to my girlfriend ~

I’m so confused…

lol @ETpro

I’m not an animal…I’m a Xenomorph! I suppose that kind of is an animal though…I’m gonna have to remember to add xenomorph as a topic in my next question.

Oh no, science again… Who says there are only these options? Maybe we are all gods or spirits or nothing at all.

As a human being, I am also a member of the animal kingdom.

While more capable that many other species in some ways, Humans are not necessarily superior to all other animals.

When I examine the history of Human behaviour in terms of our treatment of other species and members our own species, I believe Humans greatly overestimate their superiority to other life forms.

@Dr_Lawrence Yeah. I think we’d be superior to all animals and other creatures on Earth if we could understand them all, and make them understand that we’re superior in a way that isn’t through brute force and submission. a lion can do the same goddamn thing to you if you piss it off in the wild, after all

I’m a force of nature.

I’m a C’tan hiding out on earth to nurse my wounds and then bring about my revenge upon the nuisance called the Necrons (who had the gall to attempt to break me up and imprison me) as well as the rest of the galaxy.

While, I, personally, am an animal, I am not an animal, for purposes of this question.

I am a jelly is what I am. Or maybe a jellie. Jelly? Jellie? Possibly jam. But only on Sundays if Coloma is making brunch. Not that I’d be in attendance. Coloma lives in the woods and Jellies live in the ocean, where they answer questions.

I answer questions. I am not an anaimal. I am a question answerer. And a misspeller. Possible a Miss Speller. Or a Mr. Speller. Is it possibel to make that salacious? Because I so, I am a salacieus non-aminal. I think all questions should be NSFW. Everyone musst always says something about sex. There sjould be jellie orgies on alternate Thursdays in the Atlantic. The North Atlatnic.

Not all mispellings in this answer were deliberate, but a lot were.

Ok. I am now back to being an animal.

Woof!

I am a body with some kind of ghost called “I” that idly watches everything pass by through my eyes.

I am not an animal, I am a human being!

@wundayatta I think all questions should be NSFW. Everyone musst always says something about sex.

Woof!

So, what…should we start running around sniffing butts then?

Moo.

@Symbeline That’s a start. But then you have to describe it on fluther.

I’m Jack’s Complete Lack Of Surprise

I am stardust, I am golden…

I am a human bean, the wind of change is afoot….or is it at hand?

@FutureMemory Then you are definitely not an animal. You should join the growing cult.

@rebbel Your girlfriend is probably right. But we could have a category for that too. All Jellies ought to be in one or the other.

@syz “The river seeks its own level, Grasshopper.”

@Symbeline You launched this “I am not an animal” thing, and you aren’t a card-carrying member yet? Now you disclose that you are a Xenomorph. They were definitely animals, all right. So you’ve picked your camp. Now it’s up to one of the animals that’s intelligent enough to follow written directions to establish the Topic and recruit your fellow members of the animal kingdom that are here on Fluther. Since Xenomorphs are highly intelligent, looks like that duty falls to you.

@eiram Oh no! Philosophy again. Who says we are not just emergent phenomena flowing out of 100 trillion neural connections which include a vast array of self-teaching neural networks and self-programming inference engines?

@Dr_Lawrence Indeed., Why you humans have only been on Earth for what, 4 million years if you count Lucy human. We slime molds have been around since not long after life evolved on this planet. And we are not stupid. Have Humans who hold themselves so superior ever bothered to talk to us? Have you asked in our language what we think about? I sure didn’t get that memo. :-)

@Blondesjon Way to go. And I think that qualifies you for the “I am not an animal” topic.

@King_Pariah I’m not really clear on whether the C’tan are Gods, animal or what? I know the Necrons are bots. But what about you. Which topic suits the C’tan. Oh, and good luck pulling yourself together after what the Necrontyr did to you.

@wundayatta Ha! You are a non-animal after my own non-animal heart, or soul, or sole. Nice self portrait in the Avatar, BTW. :-)

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard I know that feeling well.

@SuperMouse And those differ how?

@Symbeline Consider this.

@Sunny2 Wow! I am completely cowed by that answer. You animal!

@filmfann That’s a real surprise!

@Bellatrix You truly are. :-)

@ucme Foot, hand or slime-mold band.

@ETpro That’s a very strange link to use in this context, odd that you even know of it. Still, it rhymes I suppose.

@ucme Why stringe. In the details, I declared my species as an intelligent amalgam of amoeba. And we slime molds do exhibit intelligence, you know.

@ETpro My answer only reflects my recent discovery of the show on Netflix. Oooo-wheee am I enjoying that show. I’m only half-way through season 2 though, what’s this about a cult? Never mind, I don’t want to know… :P

@FutureMemory We slime molds don’t tend to follow cyborg instructions, so I’m going to tell you about the cult even though you don’t want to know. The cult is the rapidly growing number of Jellies who have added the new and fascinating topic, I am not an animal to their list of interests in their profile.

@ETpro I am so a card carrying member. Added it last night. Because I am not an animal.

Now, the problem with us Xenomorphs is that we just kill shit. To assimilate others into our colony, we’d have to be zombies so we could turn people into one of us. Animals aren’t zombies, unless they’re zombie dogs.
But, Xenomorphs are 100% about survival through numbers, so we’ll see what we can do…

I hate to be a killjoy, but I do want to remind everyone that topics are important to our question matching algorithm. Joke topics run the risk of being disabled.

@ETpro you may call me a God, and watch out, cuz my vengeance will be upon humans as well. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

@Symbeline you forgot zombie crows

I am a Jelly—like others of my species, I do not possess a heart, brain, respiratory system, skeletal system, central nervous system or blood. I hope that you will bear this in mind when evaluating my contributions.

@Symbeline You go girl. I stand corrected.

@augustlan Surely “I am not an animal” is a valuable topic.

@King_Pariah Yeah, I may… But then again, I amy not. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

@ratboy You’re right in there with us slime molds, but you are clearly an animal, not a eukaryote

I’m kind of on the fence on this one.

On the one hand ...

On the other hand ...

Where do I fit in?

I am biota!

@ETpro I amy not? :P

@lillycyote If there is any question, you have the benefit of the doubt. You’re welcome to the topic “I am not an animal”.

@King_Pariah You amy have notised I amy not a very gud speler.