Social Question

jca's avatar

Do you ask people before uploading their photos onto your Facebook page?

Asked by jca (27930 points ) November 13th, 2012

This past summer I attended a party given for my mother’s birthday. A bunch of family members attended and I took pictures at the event. I uploaded them to Facebook. Two of the photos had my aunt in them. She’s a very attractive woman in her early 60’s, posh, great body, beautiful clothes (the rich man’s wife). She called me today and sounded annoyed that she saw her photos on Facebook. She said “how could you put photos of people up there without asking them?” I apologized and quickly deleted the two photos with her in them, at her request. She said it would be like if she posted photos of me before I had weight loss surgery and I might feel embarassed seeing them. I said no, I would not, as I post such photos of myself. We didn’t have an argument, as I complied with her request.

I am just curious (based upon her question of “how could you put photos of people on Facebook without asking them?”) if others ask everyone before posting photos on Facebook.

For the record, my privacy settings are such that only my friends can see my photos, although, like she pointed out, someone could take their phone and show others the photos that they can view.

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11 Answers

SpatzieLover's avatar

No I do not. I don’t expect people to ask me before posting photos of me or the kid, either.

Really, your aunt is perturbed that her own family can show other family members her photo? Me personally, I wouldn’t have deleted them if they were pics of one of my aunts. As it is, I only joined FB to allow family members to get updates on my kid. I’m pretty careful about whom I ‘friend’.

wundayatta's avatar

I do not. My photos are my photos. But I do have it set so only my friends can see them. In any case, I’ve stopped putting up photos as I decided Facebook had little to offer me that I could use.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Did you tag her in the photo? In my opinion that would be intrusive.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t ask, but I do have a couple friends and family members who get upset about photos being uploaded, and I respect they don’t like it and follow their wishes. All of them who are freaked out are worried they might look badly in a photo, it has nothing to do with safety or anything like that.

marinelife's avatar

No, I don’t, but I would honor someone’s request to take down their photo.

hearkat's avatar

Tagging a photo is the bigger issue, as @LuckyGuy mentions… because that tag identifies the person and may then show up on their profile. A group of women I hang out with has a rule that we post pics, but the people only tag themselves if they want to. Some groups I’ve been in had strict no photo rules because some members had privacy concerns.

You could always post the pics, but rather than Friends Only, change it to be visible only to those in the photos or at the event (you can list specific people to have access to any given post; or similarly, you can specifically deny access to certain people, like jealous exes, etc.). You could then discuss which images are acceptable to be shown to whom. The permissions can then be changed to include those deemed acceptable, or deleted accordingly.

livelaughlove21's avatar

No. That’s ridiculous. If someone doesn’t want others to see pictures of them, they shouldn’t allow people to take photos of them. What’s the big deal?

I disagree that tagging them is “intrusive” as well. How so? It’s really simple to untag yourself if you hate the photo. If these are potentially compromising or distasteful photos, that’s a different story, but I think it’s fair game otherwise. After all, they most likely posed for the photo anyways.

My mother in law asked me to remove pictures of her from my Facebook that were from my wedding. I just untagged her, but didn’t delete them. Most of them included my husband or other guests. They’re wedding photos, MY wedding photos, and I’m not deleting them because she thinks she’s fat.

I know what it’s like to hate a picture of myself or to see embarrassing photos of me on friends’ Facebook pages, but I don’t freak out about it. Who cares?

jca's avatar

@LuckyGuy: No, I didn’t tag her in them. It occurred to me afterwards, that since she was not tagged, only the few people that bothered to look at the photos and that know who she is would even know it was her, everyone else has no idea who she is or who that lady in the photos is. When this occurred to me, and I thought about it, it makes me want to email her and tell her that, but I am debating whether or not to even bother.

hearkat's avatar

@jca: In that case, I would just let it go, and if she brings it up again, reassure her that she isn’t tagged, and that you’ve limited access to only your friends. If she raises a major stink, crop her out of them.

augustlan's avatar

I find this kind of odd…would she ask you not to keep the photo in a physical album, or not to show the physical picture to people? On Facebook, it must be a generational thing. I doubt that younger people even think about this at all! I don’t ask for permission, and I do tag, unless someone specifically asks me not to for privacy reasons or something.

newtscamander's avatar

No, I don’t, because I know whether the people I upload pictures of are fine with it or not. But there have been occasions when someone would contact me and ask me to delete one or two pictures, if they weren’t okay with the way they looked on them. Mostly though, if someone found a picture too embarassing or just not flattering, they would simply remove the tag.

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