Social Question

Tachys's avatar

Ladies (and men I guess): why do you love getting flowers?

Asked by Tachys (1508 points ) December 5th, 2012

I sent my girlfriend flowers today. No particular reason, I just felt like it. She loved them. My experience is that flowers always seem to please. My question is how do you feel when your significant other sends flowers? Why do women like flowers so much?

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39 Answers

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

One, my partner wouldn’t get me flowers ‘cause I’d rather see them in the ground than out. He’d get me books which is dead trees, so there’s that. Women don’t all like flowers. And, as you mention, some men do. The seeming disparity is social, that is women are taught to like flowers. Men are taught that getting flowers for women is the right thing to do, in the West, anyhow.

wundayatta's avatar

My wife taught me that flowers are good to get her. Why? Couldn’t really tell you. They make her happy. It’s reliable. She wants them. That’s all I know. It doesn’t really make sense, but I accept it and am grateful for a surefire way to make her happy.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@wundayatta “I accept it and am grateful for a surefire way to make her happy.” – that’s really sweet.

burntbonez's avatar

They are aesthetically pleasing. Women may have more of an appreciation for flowers and other artistic things, in general.

gailcalled's avatar

I too no longer want or like flowers from the florist’s. SInce I have a lovely garden, I grow my own. No long trips on ice in airplanes from exotic climes. At this time of year, I can cut a few small, nicely smelling pine boughs and some bittersweet or winterberry and put them in a vase.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

I am going to have to disagree with @Simone_De_Beauvoir. Getting a gift from a female is the exception, rather than the rule. When I get a gift from a woman, I assume it is a romantic overture, and whether or not I mention the gift, women will declare that it is a sexual overture or not., prior to me acknowledging it.

jonsblond's avatar

Receiving a gift from someone you love is a good feeling. It makes you feel acknowledged and loved. Flowers are pretty and many smell very nice. It’s kind of unusual to not like something like that.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought Wait, which part of my thing do you disagree with? Your response is not connected to mine. I’m confused.

Imadethisupwithnoforethought's avatar

—@Simone_De_Beauvoir. As I reread you, I apologize, we are taught that getting women flowers is a romantic overture. Initially, I read it differently.—

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought No worries, I just haven’t slept in days so I thought I was losing it again.

JLeslie's avatar

I don’t, never have. It’s nice that someone thought of me, especially if there is no special occasion, but I much prefer a more practical gift.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir The trees are not dead when they cut them down.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JLeslie Exactly. That’s why it’s just as bad. I know that.

JLeslie's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I misunderstood your sentence, my apologies.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@JLeslie No, let me apologize. I didn’t state that clearly. I see that now.

Unbroken's avatar

I think mostly I like any thoughtful gift. If it is something that is insider knowledge bonus points.

burntbonez's avatar

Can I apologize, too? I mean, it looks like fun. :-0

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@burntbonez Don’t worry. It’s a rare event in my life here on Fluther. You’re witnessing something near to a miracle. Ask others.

wundayatta's avatar

It’s true, @burntbonez. But feel free to join in. In fact, I think I’ll take this moment to apologize, too, which is about as rare as @Simone_De_Beauvoir‘s apologies. I’m sure I have plenty of things to apologize for, although I’m not exactly sure on the specifics. That probably doesn’t count for much, then, does it? Oh well.

Unbroken's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir really? I find I am always apologizing does that mean I am blessed or cursed?
Not a fan of the e book?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@wundayatta That’s sweet too! I’m rather liking you today. @rosehips I don’t know. Does it feel like a blessing or a curse?

Unbroken's avatar

I am not quite sure, can I get back to you on that?

Bellatrix's avatar

I don’t mind flowers but they are sort of a ‘I couldn’t think of anything else’ type gift mostly. If it is a spontaneous – ‘I saw these and thought of you’ thing, that would be nice and my children have done this (well one of them in particular) on occasion.

If it’s for a birthday present or an ‘I am sorry’ thing. I would be less than impressed. Equally, if my husband walked in with a bunch of flowers every Friday I would find that annoying. It would be a habit rather than a spontaneous gesture.

Like @gailcalled, I want to plant a picking garden and would rather grow my own flowers than have them bought for me. Like @Simone_De_Beauvoir if you want to reach my heart, buy me a book. You really can’t go wrong with a book.

JenniferP's avatar

I think flowers are a waste of money. They wilt after a day or two. I would rather get a piece of jewelry.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Meh, I’m not a big flower person myself. It’s a nice gesture and getting them for no reason would surely make me all warm and fuzzy on the inside, but I could do without just fine. If a guy wants to spend money on me, I’d prefer something that’ll last longer than a few days.

My husband know the way to my heart is new make-up or clothes. :)

zenvelo's avatar

When I got my girlfriend live flowering potted plants, especially if orange flowers, she loved it because she could add it to her houseplants, and enjoy the flowering, and not worry about them only lasting a long weekend. And she loved that I remembered what she liked.

And I always give them as a spontaneous gift, not as a substitute when I should have really shopped for her.

I’ve only gotten flowers delivered for me a couple of times, and never from a significant other.

serenade's avatar

After a couple of years of field research, what I find to be generally true is:

Women : flowers
Men : boobs

ucme's avatar

Flowers are okay on special ocassions, very unoriginal though, kind of a default gift.
I myself wouldn’t appreciate a bunch, stick them up your arse….pet!

poisonedantidote's avatar

Flowers are an excellent gift.

Everyone knows what they are, they have a social brand recognition that is only matched by the little black box of an engagement ring, as soon as you see it, you know what it is.

Flowers are bold, there is no hiding them. If you walk in to your girlfriends office and drop off a nice watch for her, when you leave all her co workers will ask “who was that guy”. If you walk in with a big bunch of flowers, after you leave, all her co workers will ask “what does the card say”.

You could say flowers are unoriginal and a default. That it is kind of like saying “I could not think of anything else so I got flowers”, but I like to think of it more as saying “I got you flowers because nothing else would do”.

They are also a great tool for expressing your self, either in an original way, or by following social preset standards. Everyone knows what one red rose means, we all know why it is different to 20 pink roses.

You could buy her 19 real red roses, then slip in a fake plastic one in the middle, and send it to her with a note reading “I will stop loving you the day the last rose dies”, and make a bold yet corny statement, or just pick up a big bunch of colorful ones, just to score some brownie points.

I enjoy getting flowers for my girlfriend because of the obvious message that goes with it, and because it brightens up her day, and it makes her feel special. This is also the same reason why I like getting flowers.

jca's avatar

I enjoy flowers because to me, it’s not something I would normally buy for myself, as I consider it a luxury. To spend a lot of money on cut flowers is not something I ever do. Therefore, unless someone gives me flowers, the only other way I’d have them in the house is if I host a party and people bring them for that, or sometimes at a fancy event, I’ll get the flowers from the table. I’m not home a lot, so to spend money on something I’ll not be looking at much would be a waste, to me.

Enjoying flowers is not someting I’ve been taught to do, it’s a feeling I’ve acquired all on my own!

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

When I was in college I couldn’t make it home one Mother’s Day. As I was walking back to my fraternity I saw a flower store. I got the idea to send flowers to her place where she worked a few days before Mother’s Day. I sent it with a card signed, From All Of Your Kids. She loved it, and it’s become a tradition for Mother’s Day, her birthday, and Christmas. And her coworkers love it. I have 3 or 4 standing offers to adopt me anytime.

gailcalled's avatar

MIlo here; Someone has to uphold the standards on fluther, which is why I never apologize.

Gail, OTOH, spends most of her time groveling, which is as it should be.

OpryLeigh's avatar

This is definitely more about the thought than the actual flowers for me. Flowers are nice and I like having them in my living room but the fact that my boyfriend was thinking about me enough to buy me flowers is what really matters to me.

Shippy's avatar

For me its the fact that I was thought of, and that he or she went to the trouble of sending me those flowers. So even if he sent old shoe laces via a courier I’d feel the same.

tups's avatar

I just like the thought of someone buying flowers for me. That’s nice. It’s the thought that counts. But I would prefer chocolate, yes, definitely.

bob_'s avatar

I liked to give my ex flowers because of how radiantly happy she looked with them.

Bellatrix's avatar

Sweet @bob_ :-).

Yeahright's avatar

I love flowers. It’s probably one of the best gifts you can ever give me. You will get an instant smile.

I love the bright colors they come in or even the ones with less intense hues. I adore the petals, the softness, the way they look in vases or baskets. I like to put a dozen pink roses—or even more—in a vase and I could stare at them for hours. I don’t think of how much they cost, for me they are worth the expense. For me, they symbolize perfection and beauty.

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