Social Question

zensky's avatar

It's Jewish question time: you must answer the question with another question?

Asked by zensky (13294 points ) December 14th, 2012

It should be relevant and pertinent.
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(Aw fuck it, do whatever you want).

;-)

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

156 Answers

zensky's avatar

So, TGIF, eh?

JLeslie's avatar

Why are you so happy it’s Friday? Do you have special plans for the weekend?

Brian1946's avatar

What’s the acronym for atheists who are thankful that it’s Friday?

JLeslie's avatar

Same, we just insert goodness in place of God.

YARNLADY's avatar

What? Isn’t that an insult or something?

fremen_warrior's avatar

Oy, already with the insults, get a life, would you? And by the way, isn’t this thread insulting in itself?

JLeslie's avatar

@fremen_warrior How is the thread insulting?

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Is this thread insulting? I don’t know. I didn’t even know that questions could be Jewish.

How can a question have ethnicity?

fremen_warrior's avatar

How can you build something on a stereotype and not wonder if there are people here who it might insult?

ucme's avatar

Didn’t we have a long summer?

ragingloli's avatar

since when does england have summers?

zensky's avatar

@JLeslie You answered without a question. You lose. Meet me in chat?

ucme's avatar

Do jewish folks actually say long summer, in a derogatory way?

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Let me break this to you gently, @ucme. Did you know there’s no Father Christmas or Santa Claus or Pere Noel or any other fucking elf bringing pressies down the chimney?

ucme's avatar

Hey i’m just playing the game man & besides @ragingloli seemed to be a little confused as to the intent of my original joke question.
Is there really no Santa Claus & if not, then who brings all the fucking presents then eh…who, who!?!

zensky's avatar

I think Santa is married to the tooth fairy and they are in charge of presents. What do you think?

Brian1946's avatar

What, you’ve never heard of parents?

ucme's avatar

Who played the finest jewish character in films?
My vote goes to Ben Kingsley in Schindler’s List.

zensky's avatar

Who is Kirk Douglas in Cast a Giant Shadow?

rooeytoo's avatar

Who is this guy?

ragingloli's avatar

Is this some sort of random redneck?

LuckyGuy's avatar

For this Bennie and Andy made such a website? Do you think their grandfather, may he rest in peace, would be spinning in his grave if he saw such drek?

glacial's avatar

Does every question have to be profound?

SuperMouse's avatar

Does every answer have to be profound?

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Do you understand the word profound?

tedd's avatar

My g/f is jewish, should she be offended?

JLeslie's avatar

@zensky Oy, can you believe I was the first one to answer without a question? I went back to sleep so I missed your invititation to chat.

@Hawaii_Jake We Jews kind of take pride in all our questioning. Haven’t you been around here long enough to see the Jews answering with a question? It’s a stereotype based on some truth.

@tedd Is she? Or, did she just laugh?

JLeslie's avatar

@tedd Better yet, you can answer, does she often answer a question with another question?

filmfann's avatar

Are you asking if she should be offended because she’s your girlfriend?

LuckyGuy's avatar

So, @tedd,-ilah Your Mom was kvetching to my Mom. She wants to know: “When are you going to get a real job?”

janbb's avatar

Nu, @LuckyGuy when are we going to meet up and do that stuff in the dark you’ve been telling me about?

Judi's avatar

Do you have to be Jewish to participate in ths silly querstion?

janbb's avatar

Do you think you have to be Jewish to participate?

LuckyGuy's avatar

@janbb What? I should have to ask? Don’t you know for you the option is always open?

janbb's avatar

@LuckyGuy You’ll find the address at 69 degrees latittude, 58 degree longitude under a small rock. Is that clear enough?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Did you hear about the new Jewish cadillac? It’ll stop on a dime and pick it up too.

burntbonez's avatar

This is a question simply because I put a question mark on it?

cazzie's avatar

A Jewish-Hollywood list.
http://www.imdb.com/list/sZ8xhbtLQHs/

I think you will find The Marx Brothers were Jewish.

My question is, ‘Is a Jewish-Hollywood list necessary?’

And another list: http://www.adherents.com/movies/adh_actors.html

Is that really necessary as well?

JLeslie's avatar

@LuckyGuy Your question reminded me of the new movie coming out with Barbra Streisand, are you going to see it? Called “Guilt Trip.” About an adult son who asks his Jewish mom to drive across country with him, and she is so excited her tatalah asked her. LOL. The whole movie has kvetching and nagging and kibbutzing ans questions…too funny.

@cazzie What do you mean is it necessary?

Brian1946's avatar

What’s the megillah about Xmas? Who would want to celebrate their birthday if meant hiring a chubby schmuck with a flying wagon to distribute presents to the rest of the world, instead just having your friends and family do the schlepping for you?

cazzie's avatar

@JLeslie why do we need to draw that line between their work, and their personal belief system or something they inherited by parents. I noticed Nat Portman was on the list of Jewish, but she is actually an outspoken atheist.

ragingloli's avatar

Have you forgotten Karl Marx?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Why do Jews have big noses? Because air is free.
Too far?

Brian1946's avatar

Isn’t Karl the great-grandfather of the Marx brothers?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Removed by me. I can’t put that out there after the school shooting.

JLeslie's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe I never heard that one before. :)

Edit: I was talking about the nose, the KKK one I don’t like. Just me.

@cazzie I am surprised considering how long you have been here on fluther that it surprises you that a Jewish person might also be an atheist. Most of the Jews here are. Nat Portman is not only Jewish, but also Israeli, born in Jerusalem. Jews back in the day in America changed their names to not sound so Jewish in Hollywood and other industries. They worried about being accepted so they tried to hide their Jewishness. Dinah Shore (do you remember her?) was Jewish! That shocked me when I found that out several years ago. I guess having a Jewish list of famous people is like having a list of gay famous people, let the public know the people they watch and admire are not part of the mainstream majority, let’s get it out of the closet so to speak. Hollywood happens to be full of Jewish people. What I have been told is years ago people would not hire Jews so they went into business for themselves and entertainment. Entertainment back years ago was not seen as a very respectable job, not a profession so to speak. The Jews have a long history of loving the arts in general.

JLeslie's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Is the nose ok? I don’t mind it, some might.

I tell the joke about the Priest going to get a haircut and afterwards tries to pay and the barber says, “no no no, I could never take money from a man of the cloth, please no.” The Preist thanks him and then about a week later the barber recieves a bottle of wine as a gift from the priest.

Then a minister gets his hair cut and afterwards tries to pay and the barber says again, “no no no, I can’t take money from you, a clergyman, please it is on the house.” The minister thanks him and a week later the barber received a gift as a thank you.

Then a rabbi gets a haircut and afterwards he tries to pay, and again the barber says, “no no no, I could never take money from you, a rabbi, please it is no charge.” The rabbi thanks him and about a week later 12 more rabbis show up for a haircut.

Kind of the same idea don’t you think?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@JLeslie I agree. I editted it and flagged it.

SuperMouse's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe shouldn’t that last quip have been a question?

LuckyGuy's avatar

@janbb After I find the address do you think maybe we can go out for a bit of Chinese?

janbb's avatar

@LuckyGuy Is that what they call it by you?

Brian1946's avatar

Is dark matter solid? If it is, then how does light get through it so that we can see the stars beyond?

newtscamander's avatar

Should I be depressed because I can’t think of an answer to @Brian1946 question?
Or rather, am I stupid if I have no knowledge about dark matter? And if I am stupid, should that depress me or should I just live with it? If I was stupid, would I be thinking about all this?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@scuniper You’re far from stupid. The dark matter is a vacuum, so there is nothing to catch and reflect the light.

filmfann's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Were you gonna ask a question there?

Sunny2's avatar

So, what if I’m only a quarter Jewish, can I still play?

LuckyGuy's avatar

@janbb You want I should offend?

SuperMouse's avatar

@LuckyGuy you want @janbb should be offended?

zensky's avatar

Has this been fun or what?

LuckyGuy's avatar

@zensky If we said it was fun can we still book billable hours?

@SuperMouse You think with her background she doesn’t know what we really called it?

janbb's avatar

@LuckyGuy you think I wasn’t pretending you were using Chinese as a euphemism?

zensky's avatar

Have you made me hungry?

newtscamander's avatar

Did I conquer @Adirondackwannabe, in a way?

SuperMouse's avatar

@janbb and @LuckyGuy you think I understood the reference?

LuckyGuy's avatar

So, what did Jews eat before they invented Chinese food?
And, nu, what will you be eating on Christmas ?

zensky's avatar

Isn’t it great that Chinese food has been around forever? What would we do without it? Would life be worth living even?

LuckyGuy's avatar

Didn’t “Havah nagilah” come from “Have an eggroll”?

zensky's avatar

Isn’t that the literal translation?

Why Do Jews Love Chinese Food?

Would you believe TIME has an article about it?

LuckyGuy's avatar

Can we not find the answer in a translated Talmud?

JLeslie's avatar

@zensky I am putting that article on my facebook. LOL. In my family we sometimes refer to it as Bronx Chinese when we it’s really good, kind of like NY pizza vs. Chicago pizza. Also, sometimes called Jewish Chinese. In Boca Raton, FL we had a Kosher Chinese restaurant for the orthodox.

In NYC there used to be Cuban Chinese restaurants, I think there are still a couple around, and my aunt talks about how she used to get her pork fried rice and fried plantains when she was a kid. I always though everyone like Chinese food, but then I moved to Memphis, and I actually have friends who have never or rarely ever eaten Chinese, and have no idea what to order, and a good Chinese place is hard to find here. At the same time, when I plan a club dinner at PF Changs I get the largest turn out. Anyway, I blame the lack of Chinese food in the area on the lack of Jews, not the lack of Chinese people. LOL. It was the same in North Carolina, there was one Chinese place near me, owned by non-Chinese American people, and I had always wondered if they were Jewish.

Meanwhile, I need a question…is there a lot of Chinese restaurants in Israel? Or, is that just a Jewish-American phenomenom?

Sunny2's avatar

So, you never heard that Chinese restaurants are the only restaurants open on Christmas?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Christmas Kung Pao, anyone?

JLeslie's avatar

Why is this night different than all other nights?

SuperMouse's avatar

What’s with all the questions?

zensky's avatar

What, it bothers you?

@JLeslie: What, you think Israelis are any different?

SuperMouse's avatar

@zensky should it bother me?

zensky's avatar

@You should ask maybe someone professional?

SuperMouse's avatar

Are you saying I need to see a professional? Should that hurt my feelings?

zensky's avatar

Should it? What do you think?

filmfann's avatar

Is it important what I think?

Sunny2's avatar

@JLeslie an aside: I had Chinese food at a restaurant in Greece. They used olive oil in anything that required oil. Needless to say . . . it wasn’t authentic Chinese

newtscamander's avatar

@Sunny2 as are turkish restaurants, no? (referring not to your last post, but the one before that)
How great is Ben&Jerry’s Fairly Nuts?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Don’t you prefer Chunky Monkey?

newtscamander's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Yay? :)
Why would I prefer banana ice cream?
Don’t you like tasty flavours?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@scuniper Good for you. Banana ice cream is nice.

zensky's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe You understand the rules here, yes?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@zensky Yes, just part way through I got the news of the Conneticut school shhoting and it really cut through me. My apologies.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@scuniper Yeah, it doesn’t get much worse does it?

zensky's avatar

Isn’t it the saddest day when children and teachers are killed?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

How can anyone kill 20 kids (I don’t want to check the news)? What the fuck?

JLeslie's avatar

@Sunny2 I had Chinese in Florence, Italy, it actually was very good. The people working there were Chinese, spoke Chinese and Italian, which if course makes sense, but seemed odd.

@zensky Well, the Jews here in Memphis don’t seem to know much about a good bagel. Delis, bagels, bakeries, nothing up to par. Too southern or something.

I still wamt to know what @tedd‘s girlfriend answered. This is how I picture it if my husband asked me:

Husband: JL would you be offended if someone stereotyped Jews as always answeringa question with a question?

Me: Why do ask?

Both break into laughter.

zensky's avatar

Don’t you think he was joking?

JLeslie's avatar

Probably.

choreplay's avatar

What do you hope to prove with this? (thinks to self: has that been asked already?)

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I guess a better question would be: what do you hope to prove by frequently commenting without your pants on?

zensky's avatar

But do you like it that way?

SuperMouse's avatar

Wasn’t this question dormant? What happened?

zensky's avatar

Did someone wake up?

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Where’s the OP ? ?

Oh yah it’s @zensky.

oy vey.

JLeslie's avatar

Did the question revive for 2013?

How is your new year so far?

zensky's avatar

Not too bad and yours?

burntbonez's avatar

I mean, does Bar Mitzvah season seems to be upon us?

JLeslie's avatar

There is a bar mitzvah season? Why? Do Jewish people tend to have babies more often in Jan, Feb, March?

It just so happens today is my birthday.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

HAPPY HAPPY

choreplay's avatar

OMG, not only get caught with my pants down but stayed away too long to come back with a witty comment. Wait, don’t I need to put that in the form of a question?

zensky's avatar

Who are you?

janbb's avatar

whohoo whohoo?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

For that matter, who am I?

janbb's avatar

And if not now, when?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Tomorrow, but why should I?

zensky's avatar

That is a good question.

ucme's avatar

After all, tomorrow is another day!

zensky's avatar

Indeed.

Tropical_Willie's avatar

So what am I, chicken liver ? ?

janbb's avatar

But what did I say?

zensky's avatar

So you wanna nother go at it eh?

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Do you kiss your mother with those lips? ?

zensky's avatar

With which lips?

Tropical_Willie's avatar

Now you have the rhythm @zensky.

burntbonez's avatar

And there’s there’s the old faithful: what am I? A potted plant?

choreplay's avatar

Is this going to be a long as the hijack this thread thread?

burntbonez's avatar

Does it look like people are pouring in the answers questions willy nilly?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Does anyone else wish people would stop talking about their willies?

choreplay's avatar

@burntbonez do you know what I’m talking about?

burntbonez's avatar

@choreplay Would it matter if I did?

zensky's avatar

@WillWorkForChocolate What do you mean by that?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I meant something?

zensky's avatar

I don’t know, did you?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Did I what?

Have I mentioned I have ADD?

burntbonez's avatar

Did I mention I have SUBTRACT?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Did you say you’re a sub? Who’s your dom?

burntbonez's avatar

I was a sub. Now I’m in traction (the two are related). Do you understand the concept of subtraction, now?

Tropical_Willie's avatar

So what’s the point of your question, @burntbonez ? ?

burntbonez's avatar

When did you become a burning genius, @Tropical_Willie?

choreplay's avatar

Who did it?

zensky's avatar

And why?

choreplay's avatar

And where? Was it in the Library?

janbb's avatar

With a meat cleaver?

choreplay's avatar

Do we really have a clue?

zensky's avatar

And why have there been 150 posts and yet only 2 GQs? Should I take this personally?

burntbonez's avatar

Why are you counting the number of Geospacial Quanta?

zensky's avatar

Isn’t it called Larvae?

Earthgirl's avatar

Oy! Answer a question with a question? Who do you think I am, that Wundayatta fellow?

choreplay's avatar

I’ve been gone a while, what did I miss?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Apparently, you’re still missing your pants…

choreplay's avatar

Does anyone know where my pants are?!?!?

Am I doing well keeping everything a question?

@WillWorkForChocolate, do you appreciate as much as me that we have highly similar names, as you’ll work for chocolate and I’ll work for….. (aaaaa well, you get my point)?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I’m sorry, did you just say that you’re pointing something at me???

choreplay's avatar

Am I too late to answer this?

@WillWorkForChocolate, Did you think I was offering to work for you? Is that silly or what? Aren’t you my sister?

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

Aren’t you the one who keeps flirting with me?

choreplay's avatar

Sooo, what do you think about this weather?

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