General Question

StarlessNight's avatar

What attracts a women? Generally speaking.

Asked by StarlessNight (41points) March 26th, 2013

Basically what attracts women? Personally, I think I have some of the most fundamental ones already but what do you guys think, as a community? Basically qualities of a man or gentleman are what I’m talking about.

eg. Maybe wealth? Looks? Intelligence? Independence?

How does shyness come about affecting attracting from a women to a man?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

27 Answers

bookish1's avatar

If you think there’s one unique formula that applies to all women, you’re doing it wrong.
And you will probably be sold a bridge somewhere.
There’s a lot of straight women out there, all with different life experiences and tastes and personalities. Be authentic and a good person, and someone will find you attractive, regardless of how wealthy, handsome, intelligent, or shy you are.
Peace, and welcome to Fluther.

picante's avatar

I can speak only for myself:

Kindness
Keen wit
Emotional intelligence
Wide range of life experiences
Good health!
Stamina (not sexual—more related to ability to withstand the ups and downs of life)
Conversational agility
Good teeth
Good relationship with family and friends
Animal lover

And welcome to Fluther!!

glacial's avatar

Do all of your male friends look for the same thing in a woman? They’re all individuals, right? The same is true on the other side of the coin. We’re people, just like you are, and each of us has different needs, experiences, and desires.

Response moderated (Spam)
livelaughlove21's avatar

Yes. All of those things you mentioned. But mostly wealth, statistically speaking. Add in confidence, kindness, and maturity and you’ve created the perfect man.

Of course, the others are right about different women being attracted to different things. However, that doesn’t make the generalities above any less true. Attractiveness is to men as financial stability is to women. You won’t find many women that say they want an unrmployed dude sitting on their couch, eating all their food, and laughing hysterically at Beavis and Butthead reruns while they work all day.

marinelife's avatar

intelligence
sense of humor
goodness (moral values)

elbanditoroso's avatar

Generally speaking, there is no general answer. Every woman I have known has her own personal yardstick and they are all different from each other.

You’re better of dealing with women as individuals than as generalities.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I think it’s class, honesty, humor, hygiene and confidence.

nofurbelowsbatgirl's avatar

I am a woman. I have experienced my “perfect” personal attraction. I can tell you this:
The outside didn’t mean a thing, besides basic personal hygiene and health and
I wasn’t looking for it.
It never occured to me that the things in the man I found “perfect” were even “perfect” until it dawned on me that everything we did together was in perfect motion, like that of a cup like if I were water and he was oil and if a cup were to be filled with those two fluids being us and then gently moved side to side the fluid may not mix but it still moves together.

That only occured to me later on in life that it is not so much really about pleasing someone you are with as it is working together to achieve the same goals, because once you are doing that, the differences do not matter :).

And simply put, when you find the right person it is easy to love them and they love you back, when you find the wrong person they make it hard for you to love them.

gorillapaws's avatar

Watch this clip and jump to 4 minutes in. Be the guy in the rated R movie.

What women tell you they want in my experience is not what they actually are attracted to, and it’s not who they end up dating, generally speaking. As women get older and start to want to settle down this changes, but in the high school, college and early-mid twenties being the rated R guy approach is many orders of magnitude more effective (again this has been my experience, and what I’ve observed with my friends over the years).

I should add that I wish the universe didn’t behave this way, and maybe it doesn’t for some people, but for whatever reason (media, society, culture, movies, gender roles, whatever) it’s been my experience that it does. Also, don’t take this as a license to be a total shithead asshole—always be respectful of boundaries.

ucme's avatar

Someone who can make them feel like a million dollars, light them up like a pinball machine during sex, be dependable/reliable, to live out their lives together as happily as the day they met & above all…someone who puts the toilet seat down after peeing!! ;-}

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

“Basically what attracts women?”

Style. The lack of which repels them.

“Basically what attracts men?”

Function. The lack of which repels them.

janbb's avatar

Interest in her thoughts and feelings.

KNOWITALL's avatar

It is always subjective. For me it’s intellect and kindness.

Lightlyseared's avatar

Stuff *

* Unfortunately the “stuff” that does the attracting varies for each woman.

Inspired_2write's avatar

Trust,Honesty.

augustlan's avatar

Different women are attracted to different things. Chemistry plays a big role, too. You could have all the qualities I like, but if the chemistry isn’t there, we’re going nowhere.

Velvetinenut's avatar

One of the things that will attract me is that the man doesn’t see me as an ATM.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@Velvetinenut You do know the different ways that can be interpreted don’t you?

Velvetinenut's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe Ummmmm, ATM means automated teller machine. Do I dare ask the different ways that can be interpreted?

Velvetinenut's avatar

O….k….. Getting nervous…

antimatter's avatar

I would like to tell you this story.
There was this guy that walked on the beach who happened to be mute.
By accident this guy found a bottle on the beach and opened it, and behold the wonder a spirit appeared. The spirit said to him “you freed me, I will let you talk and grant you three wishes.” The very surprised guy asked for all the money in the world, the spirit gave it some thought due to the complexities of international currencies and of course declaring his new found fortune legally to the IRS, with a lot of effort and paper work he got it. The second wish was to own a very broad toll road linking all the continents, the spirit disappeared for a few weeks and reappeared apologizing that that wish is impossible due to union demands and some geographic and environmental concerns remorsefully the spirit asked if it is possible to wish for something easier because that’s going to be impossible. So the guy went into his four thousand squire foot penthouse and gave it some serous thought and after a few days he summonsed the spirit and asked him the question “Spirit of all, is it possible that you can grant me the wish to understand and how to attract woman?” Without hesitation the spirit replied.
“Dude… how many lanes must that toll road have between the continents?”
The moral of the story is there is absolutely no proven formula to attract woman, be yourself and watch Hitch and a lot of chick flicks.

glacial's avatar

In my experience, men who think that women are a group of wholly inscrutable, mysterious, incomprehensible forces… are men who will not open their mouths to ask questions, and will not open their ears to hear the answers. We are human beings, very much like you are (imagine that!). Stop propagating these stupid myths.

janbb's avatar

@glacial Have I told you lately that I love you?

Inspired_2write's avatar

another question you may add is” For how long” ( attraction)?
Temporary…looks, money,safety
Permanent relationship: qualities that someone would be pround and privilaged to have in a permanent relationship that would cummulate into a life long scenerio.

Answer this question

Login

or

Join

to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
or
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther