How disappointed are you in who you have for parents?

Why so bummed about the parents?

Because they are so disrespectful.

That I can understand 100 percent. I had great parents. My Dad was amazing.

I am glad you had great parents. :)

Sounds like a vicious cycle to me…

Anyway, I love my parents, but have very little respect for my dad, because he has no respect for HIMSELF.

What do you mean by a vicious cycle?

And I’m sorry to hear that about your father. :(

like, they loose some respect for you, and that makes you respect them less, so they can’t find any reason to respect you, so you loose any minute bit of respect you had for them… etc.
lack or respect begets lack of respect begets lack of respect, etc.

There are certain things they’ve done to me that caused me to lose respect for them, but it’s not just how they’ve treated me. It’s how they’ve treated other siblings of mine, too. To top it all of, it is one of my sisters birthdays today, so I think it’s not cool at all what one of them was doing to one of my brothers. Not that it would be okay if it wasn’t. I do see what you’re saying, though.

I had issues with my parents, as I think everyone does, but I am NOT disappointed in them at all.
I actually stand in awe of them. They both came from broken, dysfunctional homes, yet together they created a stable environment for their kids.

I would not say that I am disappointed with my parents. My old man isn’t gonna win any father of the year awards, but he did the best he could. Honestly though, it took me a long time to come to the place where I am not bitter or disgusted with him. Eventually you will probably come to see you parents the same way. Sometimes parents do foolish things that hurt their children, it is a fact of life because parents are human after all.

@filmfann I’m glad that they created a stable environment for you and your sibling(s). :)

@SuperMouse Thank you for saying that. That makes me feel a lot better.

I drew an inside straight when I was born. My grandfather was dropped off at an orphanage with his two siblings when he was a child. But that just made him love family more. He passed that on to my father and I grew up in a great environment. We try to keep that going into the future. So far so good.

Disappointed?! God, I’m eternally grateful to them.

I’m not, I mean, it’s not like I had a choice in the matter, they fucked, I was born, end of.
My parents were divorced when I was six & my dad basically buggered off, not in the least bit disappointed in him though…his loss.

Both of my parents are dead. My mother died 8 years ago and my father died 5 months ago. I found him dead on his bedroom floor. They were both young. My mother was 45 when she died and my father was 53. They were both born the same year, he outlived her by 8 years.

Am I disappointed in them? No. I hardly ever knew them. I was in foster care and group homes my entire childhood and teen years. I didn’t even know them until I was 16(I’m 28 now)and never really got a chance to know my mother at all.

@AnonymousWoman, I don’t doubt that you believe you have reasons to be disappointed in your parents—otherwise, you wouldn’t publicly post such a personal admission. I’m truly sorry you feel that way and can only advise that you give consider those hard feelings may soften over time.

As we get older, the blacks and whites we saw when young have a way of fading to various shades of gray. I sincerely hope in time you will come to forgive your parents, or at least understand why they were unable to meet your expectations of them.

Not very dissappointed. Sure they weren’t perfect. Yelled at each other and us kids too often, said the wrong things sometimes, house was too messy. But, I can’t for the life of me see anything positive from dwelling on those things. My experience is adults who dwell on how shitty their parents were have a lot of unhappiness and anger in their life. I am not talking about when parents truly were horrible from almost anybody’s measure. I mean kids from the same family, where there was no major abusive thing going on or neglect, one adult child can look back and say they had a good childhood, while a sibling will say it was completely horrible, in the same house.

If you are under the age of 25, then I can understand being pissed and dissappointed, because it is part of adolescence and separating to begin your own life. But, after that, best to focus on their good qualities. Maybe adjust expectations. Some people get someperspective when they become parents themselves, buy you can get it without having to have children.

I am not disappointed. I was born without expectations.

@tups That’s a bit of a bummer.:(

I am more than overjoyed, lucky and blessed. Maybe the question should be aimed at my parents(the other way round), how disappointed are they in me?

@ZEPHYRA I’m guessing they’re more than proud of you.

@Adirondackwannabe Why? I doubt anybody is born with expectations.

@tups Interesting. I guess I maybe too idealistic. I guess I fell into a great family. I’ve been blessed a lot in my life.

I’m not disappointed.

Considering their apparent issues, I’m pleased they did as well as they did.

Over 9000 percent.

I figure that it is the luck of the draw, and it was just the hand that I was dealt. It does not determine my actions as an adult, and is not worth wasting time thinking about.

It would be so great if all parents were decent, caring, and responsible people. Sadly, that’s not the case. Having children doesn’t wave any magic wand to make a person good. Every jurisdiction has some version of Child Protective Services; this isn’t because taxpayers have too much money to spend and want to waste it, but because there’s a great need to protect and care for neglected, abused, and abandoned children.

Birth really is the ultimate lottery. A baby might be born to loving parents, or not. A child might grow up in safety and comfort, or not.

My parents suck.

I mean, I got along with my dad as a youngster, and I’m told I’m a lot like my dad, in hobbies, interests, and personality, but I don’t see myself vanishing off the face of the earth for 20 years without keeping in touch with my kid. My mother is a waste of carbon.

I feel that my parents should not have been parents. I was emotionally neglected, which left me vulnerable to coercion to be molested as a young child. I have never felt close to my parents.

What I can not relate to is how you say you “feel terrible about” not having respect for your parents. I have no sense of obligation to mine, nor do I feel any guilt or remorse. I felt nothing when my father died a few years ago. They were the ones who chose to procreate, and they failed in their responsibilities to me. I owe them nothing.

My dad died when I was 10. I miss him terribly but know I have selective memory.
He knew he was dieing and spent a lot of time talking to me about life and philosophy, and politics and poetry, and possibility because he knew his time to have an influence on me was limited.
On the other hand, living with him could be like walking on eggshells.he had a volatile temper and was demeaning to my mother.
My mom spent a lot of my young life depressed. Most common memory of her was her lying on the couch.
After my dad died she blossomed. She was loved and admired by so many because of her ability to love everyone unconditionally, and her ability to actively listen.
All in all I wouldn’t trade my parents away, warts and all. I would give anything for another day with them. I miss them so.

My parents were essentially non-existant so I sort of feel your pain.

Not at all! My parents are awesome. I got drunk with them this evening. (PS I am still drunk sorry)

I’m not disappointed with who they were while raising me, but I’m disappointed in them as people now. I get along with them well enough, but their lives are nothing I’d ever want for myself. It’s sad and no one’s fault but their own.

So, the conclusion to be drawn( a very heartbreaking one), is that the majority have had parent issues. Very few seem to be happy with their folks.

@Adirondackwannabe I am not disappointed in my parents, because I never had any expectations. I think all infant are born without expectations. This doesn’t mean my parents were bad. Sure, everybody has their faults, but I would never trade parents with anyone.

@Mariah Really? That sounds like cool parents. Not awkward?

Hmm…I’m quite disappointed in my father. He’s a terrible parent. Honestly, I cannot think of any redeeming qualities in the man, at all. My mother is great though. While it hasn’t always been a smooth ride, I fully respect her. She hasn’t had it easy, but she reared my siblings and I on her own and she did the best she could. We’ve a strong relationship now and I really admire her.
One thing I will say about my father…I have worked/am working on letting go of the bitterness around his failures as a parent because holding onto that affects me and me alone. The way I see it, the man has lost out on what could have been a great relationship.

@tups Nah, my parents and I are bros.

Sadly, both my parents are deceased.
They were quite a bit not perfect, but damn did they work hard and try hard to be good parents and good human beings. As parents they were each deeply flawed in different ways. Sometimes that made it hell for the whole family.

But they kept us kids fed and housed and clothed and they shared their best with us.
I miss ‘em regularly.

My biological dad is pretty much a worthless piece of #$%!. I miss my deceased step-father and I’m very proud of who I have for a mother.

No, I can’t relate. Disappointments are normal. And they go both ways. Every decade both sides become more forgiving.