Social Question

JLeslie's avatar

If money is no object would you rather stay in someone's house or a hotel when visiting?

Asked by JLeslie (47009 points ) December 17th, 2013

For me it depends on who I am staying with and if it is just me or if my husband is along also. Money is a factor for me, but if it weren’t I probably would stay in more hotels.

It’s a drag to have to drive to and from a hotel if I am visiting one set of friends or family and going to be with them the majority of the time. With my girlfriends especially we want to talk talk talk until all hours of the night. However, generally I don’t want to stay with someone who has a dog (although, on rare occasion the dog is no issue) and I want to control the thermostat.

Also, some people seem to expect you to be with them all the time when you visit them and you might have sights you want to see, and some other people to visit while in town. I remember a Q a while back where people discussed this.

I just returned home from a vacation visiting where I used to live and had several friends I wanted to see and even went to the doctor. The people we stayed with we used as a home base, but we also were out and about quite a bit. We spent plenty of time with them I think? I hope they were comfortable with the set up. I wanted to be with them; I don’t mean I spent time with them as some sort of obligation for staying with them. They are some of our favorite people to spend time with; we just also had other friends to see.

One friend of mine kept saying we should have stayed with them and she pulled on my time and practically forced me to see her twice, and now I know I could never stay with her when I visit.

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24 Answers

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

Hotel. I’m extremely independent and domineering. I MUST be master of my domain, however temporary. I would have to stay in a hotel out of respect foe my friendships.

khajuria's avatar

Depends upon the place I am visiting :)

kounoupi's avatar

I would choose a hotel I think, I hate the feeling of being a burden to someone. Of course it depends on the social norms, eg. if I am going to visit a close relative it may be offensive to say no to staying over to their house.

hearkat's avatar

Too many variables to say. If seeing those people were the primary purpose of my visit, and they had plenty of space, I’d stay with them. However, if there are other attractions in the area and the home is a distance from the other activities, I might choose a hotel; or perhaps even split the time between a hotel and the home.

Smitha's avatar

We tend to stay in hotels when we visit. But some friends or relatives gets their feelings hurt if we don’t stay with them. Such situations we would opt to stay with them.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I prefer to stay with friends. I don’t like having to say good by and then drive to a hotel. I love the intimate feel of scrounging and enjoying breakfast with friends.
I have had friends use my house as a home base and enjoyed every minute of it.

Note: this only works with the right friends.

zenvelo's avatar

I’ve had such mixed experiences over the years from staying with friends that I’d rather stay in a hotel.

tedibear's avatar

The only house I’m comfortable visiting is my very best friend’s home. Otherwise, I want to stay in a hotel. I can control the thermostat, the television and where I put my stuff. It also gives me a mental break from the people I’m visiting. (And I’m sure that it gives them one from me!)

I’m not sure this counts, but I was always comfortable staying with my parents after I had grown up and moved out. To me it was just going home, not being a guest.

Pachy's avatar

As a rule I prefer to stay in a nearby hotel, at least if the visit is more than one night. While I know people are sincere in wanting friends or relatives to stay with them, I think it puts unnecessary stress on all parties.

jonsblond's avatar

Hotel. I like my privacy and time for myself.

jca's avatar

It depends on a bunch of stuff -what event(s) are going on, the length of stay, the proximity of the hotel to the people I will be visiting, the availability of a decent hotel in the area. I like privacy and time to myself, too, but as long as I can sit by myself for a brief period each day (introvert personality method of recharging) I am ok.

I can make do in any type of house – large, small, nice, crappy.

If there is an event where it would be nice not to have to leave and drive or be driven to a hotel, like if the hosting family is having a big party and it would really be nice to be able to be done with the party and just walk upstairs instead of getting into a cold car and driving to a hotel, then I would prefer to stay at their house.

If it’s a person I don’t want to spend a lot of time with, but be able to control my visiting, I’d prefer a hotel.

I am just thinking of various people I know, their houses and situations, and how it’s hard for me to answer any one way with this question, due to the various factors.

cookieman's avatar

Hotel please.

ibstubro's avatar

Hotel, motel, Holiday Inn. I hate inconveniencing people, and since I don’t have TV, staying in a hotel is a mini vacation in it’s self.

rojo's avatar


janbb's avatar

I enjoy both depending on the set-up, the closeness of the friendship and how much our needs mesh. I have learned that it is very important to discuss expectations before a visit whether it is at your house or you are in a hotel. I didn’t used to enjoy having people stay with me. Now I do. Part of the shift is that I will tell them upfront that I need down-time daily and will be spending some time on the computer, reading or going to my bedroom early. I don’t feel like I have to be on all the time and I don’t have a partner who might be judging me or derelict in his duties. I also tell people that I will be cooking some meals but also that we will be going out or having takeout part of the time. It seems to go smoothly.

Juels's avatar

Definitely a hotel. Long showers, sleep in, don’t clean up after yourself, walk around naked, no guilt, no expectations.

Coloma's avatar

Hotel. I like to be able to schlep around in my jammies and have coffee for about 2 hours in the morning. I hate feeling like I have to make myself “presentable” around others until I am damn good and ready. lol

KNOWITALL's avatar

Friends/ family place. I like being immersed in them and their lives.

Like @LuckyGuy it has to be the right friends and family though. One relative let his kids bounce around half the night and I had to get up early, so I didn’t go back until the kids were a little better behaved…lol

livelaughlove21's avatar

Definitely hotel. I refuse to sleep at other people’s houses.

augustlan's avatar

Hotel, hands down. I really dislike staying in someone’s home, no matter how much I like them.

Valerie111's avatar

Definitely a hotel. I like my privacy.

hearkat's avatar

I hadn’t considered television as a variable… I hate going places and the TV is on – especially if I’m visiting with someone. I hate “background noise” which is the reason that many people give for leaving it on all the frikkin’ time. I’d probably prefer a hotel if visiting folks who keep the boob tube running.

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