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ibstubro's avatar

Is there irony in the fact that some of the members providing the cleverest , funniest, most insightful answers to social questions quit Fluther in a huff when their General question participation was doubted?

Asked by ibstubro (10593 points ) March 7th, 2014

It frustrates me.

I thought that the General section of Fluther was marginally out of [mod] control, but I mostly just avoided the threads that seemed to have an agenda. I believe most members did. No huge deal. I thought about the General questions, played around on the Social.

Is there a reason any present or former Jelly can’t actively participate on Fluther?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

36 Answers

Cruiser's avatar

I have witnessed many Jellies come and go who just couldn’t grasp the concept of fair play. It is not a far stretch to participate here, say what you want and then receive responses in turn….some thrive within the design of Fluther other crumble and flee. There is ample room here to color outside the lines if you so desire….but it also demands that Jellies abide by simple yet elastic codes of conduct. No I am not a mod but I do play one on TV

Coloma's avatar

@ibstubro Don’t let it frustrate you, look at it as natural selection.
If someone allows themselves to become so emotionally attached to an internet disagreement, can’t bide by the rules or wants to go off in a huff, well….just be glad you don’t have to deal with them in real life.
Especially going to great lengths to announce ones departure for attention. Jeez….just fucking go already if you’re that fragile. lol

filmfann's avatar

Some quit in a huff; some quit in an hour and a huff.
I do miss a lot of the old time jellies, but we always have newbies who bring a lot to this site.

Seaofclouds's avatar

We all have our own personal limits and it’s best if we know them. Whether it be that we know we need to avoid one section or a certain type of question. I think there is something here for all of our current users, they just have to look for it.

As for members leaving, nothing surprises me in regards to why users leave any more.

ucme's avatar

Anyone who quits in a huff, for whatever reason, should be mercilessly mocked for the weaklings that they surely are. Tis only a website after all.

jca's avatar

Can someone pm me about what the story is here?

Symbeline's avatar

Yeah, when there’s a thread like this let’s face it, all we wanna know is who left lol.

LornaLove's avatar

I read your question a few times and am battling to understand it. Perhaps there is something else going on that I do not know about.

Some Jellies do get hurt here and do quit. The problem is not as @Coloma puts it so flippantly that they are fragile, but more because people bully, attack others personally and are often just darn right rude. To NOT question that means as a human race we might be at risk of becoming animals (pigs). Let’s not forget that a LOT of us here are lonely, bored or in need of company, why be so insulted.

you all didn’t think you were here and regarded as being here for your genius brains now did you?

Patton's avatar

Why are the people who complain about rudeness always the ones who are rudest? Small wonders.

@ibstubro I’m not sure why people leave in a huff. If they don’t want to be here anymore, they can just go. Making a big deal out of it seems like a plea for attention.

By the way, General is not out of mod control. It’s the most strictly controlled section of the site.

ibstubro's avatar

I agree, @Patton about the plea for attention.

I wasn’t commenting on Social and General questions specifically, but that the moderation seemed to err on the side of caution until some members inched themselves over the imaginary line of civility for a while.

Coloma's avatar

@LornaLove My reply was not intended to be “Flippant”, being a rational thinking woman who enjoys Fluther for the humor and intellectual stimulation, sorry..I do not understand those that allow themselves to fall into extreme drama over participating on an internet discussion board.
If one cannot handle replies from a highly diverse population, and/or, are not having a good experience here, well…they are free to go and do not need to kick up drama dust on their way out IMO.

The mods do a great job of eliminating anything that can be considered personal attacks or bullying, but if one wishes to perceive straight talk as attacking or bullying then they are free to take their leave without drama.

Cruiser's avatar

Well stated @Coloma

Mimishu1995's avatar

@Coloma I agree those kinds of jellies are fragile. Why just can’t get over some small conflict?
There was some time when I got some disagreement with Fluther too. Once was when I was still new here and once was when I got disagreement with another jelly. To tell the truth, during that time I posted two very stupid questions (one was modded and another is here) But after some time I finally calmed down, and I realized that was my fault all along.
That looks very much like natural selection. If anyone can’t stand this environment, then they’re out. Only the ones who adapt to it will stay.
I would like to quote from one of my post: ”I love you Fluther. Even though I sometimes have conflict with you, you are still the best!

Coloma's avatar

@Mimishu1995 Haha…can I say again you’re a darling?

LornaLove's avatar

@Coloma A disagreement is fine, you disagreeing with my point is also fine. You know what I mean? What I do have a problem with is a person gunning for another person for no reason. It’s called bullying. That means sending messages to a person insulting them, or trawling their comments here. (Often with a insecure trawl partner) whereby they comment on all comments made by the person they are bullying.

Anyway this was not aimed at you personally Coloma but rather to point out that calling people weak might come across as a little uncaring and yes flippant. We are all just human and I do feel some people are here for the company and community.

Coloma's avatar

@LornaLove Agreed, sending bullying pm’s is never acceptable.
I am talking about those that are so emotionally fragile they cannot handle any criticism or dispute without over reacting. I will always take a firm stand on certain issues, such as lying, cheating, and other character defects. If someone is attempting to justify their BS I will take a pitchfork to their pile of crap. lol

jca's avatar

Can someone please pm me who left?

turtlesandbox's avatar

To deem someone as fragile for wanting to leave instead of wasting their time by taking their pitchfork and standing firm is a bit much. I’ve known many people who have left q&a sites in a huff because they were tired of dealing what they thought was a toxic environment. It had nothing to do with being fragile and not being able to grasp the concept of fair play. (Is this American Gladiators?) They were strong for wanting to leave and strong for wanting to do better things with their time.

@LornaLove you all didn’t think you were here and regarded as being here for your genius brains now did you? Big egos are such a bore, don’t you think? :)

Coloma's avatar

@turtlesandbox The bottom line is that some people ARE emotionally fragile and unstable to begin with. No big surprise that there are a lot of emotionally unhealthy people in online communities. It is about taking personal responsibility which is a far cry from bullying and toxic behaviors. My original point is simply that to allow oneself to become so emotionally upset over an internet discussion forum signifies emotional problems.

If one is asking for advice, or expecting justification for poor choices and then gets their feelings hurt because they are given the advice they ask for…well, that’s called shifting the blame and that is a toxic reaction to a healthy response.
Horse dead. ;-)

Paradox25's avatar

I had never known a jelly who quit the site due to the lack of participation in their threads, unless I had missed it, and I’ve been on this site for nearly four years (not this account). Most jellies quit for a multitude of other reasons though.

In all fairness most users on here have some type of agenda behind their questions because many on here are very passionate about their political, gender, LGBT and religious views. I’m not immune to this, but neither are most others on here.

stanleybmanly's avatar

I don’t understand what you mean by “doubted”.

Coloma's avatar

I’m just here for fun and intellectual stimulation, I have no agenda other than fun and interesting sharings.

Symbeline's avatar

I’m just here TO EAT ALL YO SOULZ.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@turtlesandbox I’ve known many people who have left q&a sites in a huff because they were tired of dealing what they thought was a toxic environment. It had nothing to do with being fragile and not being able to grasp the concept of fair play. They were strong for wanting to leave and strong for wanting to do better things with their time.

Someone really thinks Fluther is toxic?

There’s a fine border between someone who thinks a site is toxic and someone who is fragile enough to delude themselves into thinking a site is toxic. Imagine @A asks: “Is what I have done to my girlfriend right? If not, what should I do?”. And there are two possibilities:
1. @A posts their question on a site called B and receives answers like: “It’s seriously not right because [blah blah blah]. You shouldn’t have done that. It would make your girlfriend think that you’re [some very negative words] and leave her a very bad impression on you. You should [some advice]. I guess you’re [some more slightly negative words] but maybe you’re just inexperience and I give you advice.”
2. @A post their question on a site called C and receives answers like: “It’s not right. What kind of guy would do that? You must be a #$% !&#$ ^#%&* !*$^$# guy I’ve ever known! Your soul should have rotten in hell! If I met you in real life I’m gonna beat the shit out of you until your brain scatters all over the ground then I’m gonna pee onto you sorry shitfuck grave!” or “No, of cous cos she aint no lik dat ;p” or “XXX device, a best gift for your crush! Visit www. somebullshitname .com for more information” or “I can tell you’ve a dick, in ya face!”
What is the different when @A leaves B site in a huff and when @A leaves C site in a huff?

To tell the truth, I’m a Yahoo! Answer refugee. Yahoo! Answer in my experience is pretty much like the C site I described. To this day I have no regret leaving it in a huff. It’s not someone leaving in a huff matters, it’s how bright they are to decide which site is a true bullshit and which is just trying to give the most constructive answers that matters.

So, I agree with @Coloma, given how fair Fluther is.

turtlesandbox's avatar

@Mimishu1995 What is the different when @A leaves B site in a huff and when @A leaves C site in a huff?

I’ve only known responsible, intelligent adults who left on their own accord so it is hard for me to answer your question. I also never said Fluther. I said q&a sites in general.

Mimishu1995's avatar

@turtlesandbox And I’m referring to Fluther, since the original question is about Fluther. But anyway, I don’t think a responsible intelligent adult will just delude themselves into thinking B site is C site.

So, in the q&a sites world in general, the leaving users can be anyone. But on Fluther, they’re most likely fragile.

Symbeline's avatar

I’m fragile. Seriously though. And I ain’t gone. So lawlz on YO BUTTCHEEKZ YALL.

Stinley's avatar

I never like the threads where people get very het up and I avoid them as much as possible. I would have hoped that people got called out for crossing the line between stating their opinion / disagreeing with someone else’s opinion and badgering or bullying them. Though that is a tough one to manage if you’ve interacted with someone on here for years and think that you are doing it in the spirit of friendship and they [or the mods] don’t take it that way.

I didn’t leave in a huff, promise. I just did some other stuff for a while.

GloPro's avatar

@Mimishu1995 I liked your example. It’s even better with your grammatical errors. “I’m gonna pee on you sorry shitfuck grave!” Hahaha, it’s tough to take that seriously.

syz's avatar

Meh. It’s the internet, people. Like it, stay. Don’t like it, go away. Can’t play by the clearly stated (mild) rules, get sent away. Why must there always be some grand drama or conspiracy?

Symbeline's avatar

Haha, conspiracies.

Coloma's avatar

@Symbeline You’re not fragile. You are a sturdy zombie and I have never seen you lose your head here. Maybe an arm or a leg. lol

Symbeline's avatar

It’s as my good friend Michael_Huntington says; when a lion cleaves your face off, you stop crying, pick up your face and staple that bad boy back on. Lol. XD

CWOTUS's avatar

I never thought about quitting over it, but I did get upset (and justifiably so, I still think) when my response to How do RAF officers get paid? was modded off.

How is “Royally” not germane and responsive to the question?

Mimishu1995's avatar

@GloPro Then lurve me :D

rojo's avatar

I feel like the alter boy who wonders why he was never good enough to be hit on by the priest.

How come no one ever bullies me??

Sob!

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