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laura98's avatar

How do I become friends with him?

Asked by laura98 (173 points ) March 10th, 2014

So I found out the kid who works as a sexton at my church ( he is in one of my previous questions so if you want to know more you can go look) lives in my neighborhood. Our bus took a different way and it passed his bus stop just two streets down from my own. I just wondered if there were any ideas on how to get him to notice me and maybe if I could somehow get closer with him.

Honestly, I’m just really lonely and don’t have many friends. I spend my days consumed in school work and my weekends just sitting in my room on my computer because I really have no one else. At school I’m surrounded by my one friend who treats me horribly. I often get really depressed and I’ve suffered from anxiety/depression all my life. Yes, I’ve tried to kill myself and I think about it a lot. Yet, that is besides the point. I just want to find a friend whom I can do things with all the time. Someone who actually wants to do things with me instead of just for personal gain.

He’s incredibly handsome and from what my dad told me ( He’s a deacon at our church) he’s incredibly talented, etc. I just want someone who will play video games with me/ have star trek marathons with me, etc. I just don’t know where to even start and I don’t want to feel so alone anymore. I don’t want to be creepy either. I just don’t know how to be friends with him without coming off as creepy. Please help, anyone.

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8 Answers

janbb's avatar

It’s easy to get hung up on one person and try to make them your all in all; much better if you can work at forming a few close friends so you are not leaning too heavily on one relationship. Is there any kind of a Star Trek or video game club where maybe you could find some more friends who like what you like? Not easy but it will help you out of the depression immeasurably if you can do it. Also, when you are engaged in something it will make you more attractive to this or another guy.

zenvelo's avatar

Say hi to him, say you’ve noticed him at church, and then ask him a question about something you know he is interested in or he does. Something along the lines of “I know you’re a sexton, how’s that working out for you?” Once you get him talking about his interests, you’ll have started to make a friend.

Talk to him about what he like to do in his free time, there might be something you like to do to, you can say “I’d love to join you sometime, that would be fun.”

And then you can ask him to play games with you. But don’t take it personally if he doesn’t, there may be something going on his life that you are unaware of.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@laura98 In all my years on this Earth I have never picked up a woman. But I have been picked up by women multiple times. And all of them have proceeded along similar lines. The woman just showed up at my side and didn’t push at all. That let me talk to them, with no pressure from either side. After a bit, the conversation gets better and we start exploring each other more and it goes from there. But if I get pressure I pull back into my shell almost every time. Just go easy and play it by feel.

marinelife's avatar

Ask him some questions about his interests. Find out if you have shared enthusiasms. Ask him questions and see what kind of a person he is and what kind of friend he would be.

By the way, time to drop your so-called school friend. Who needs it? Tell them that you don’t want to be treated badly any more.

Coloma's avatar

Just be friendly, try to strike up a conversation and let things unfold as they will. If you attempt to be friendly and he ignores you then forget about him and keep reaching out to other kids. If he is all that…he will not reject your friendly advances. If he is a weenie and blows you off you are better off without that kind of “friend.” Good luck kiddo…it sucks at your age, then again, it can suck at any age. lol

AshLeigh's avatar

All you have to do is say hi, and just talk to him. Ask him about himself, and tell him about yourself. It doesn’t take much more than that to start a friendship.

antimatter's avatar

Have you tried to talk to him?

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

If he is really a Christian, you can ask him about something in the Bible and you will have his rapt attention.

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