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tashasudo's avatar

(NSFW) My boyfriend can't fit...?

Asked by tashasudo (85 points ) April 4th, 2014

Okay, about a year ago, I posted a question about my friend, Brian. He was very sarcastic and sort of had a difficult time opening up and letting down his emotional walls that he had put up. I really liked him but kept quiet because I didn’t know how he felt because he’s so difficult to read. Well, we hung out for about 8 months before he asked me on a date, and we started dating in late November. Everything has been really great. He is very sweet and attentive and he treats me so well. Well, recently, we have gotten to a more… physical point in our relationship… He is very sweet and let me take my time with this aspect because I am very shy about sex. We sort of messed around a few times and on the first time I immediately noticed how ahem big… He is… Down there. Up until about three weeks ago, though, we hadn’t had sex, we had just messed around, so it wasn’t a problem, but about three weeks ago,we decided to try. I only have had sex with one other person and I am extremely small down there. We spent probably twenty minutes just trying to ease him in down there. Lol! After about a half an hour, it felt somewhat enjoyable, but it felt extremely tight. We’ve tried seven other times since then, and every time, it takes like at least ten minutes just trying to get him in down there, and another like ten minutes of him just barely moving, just so I can get used to the feeling. I don’t know what to do. I am extremely attracted to him and I want sex with him to be fun and enjoyable, not uncomfortable, but he is massive down there. Is there anything we can do about it or basically is that just how it is? Is it possible that my body will get used to it? I’m just worried…

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13 Answers

trailsillustrated's avatar

it’s called lube. Lots of it. And taking your time.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Does he do oral to get you ready? He should make sure you are really wet. If I go at it for 30 minutes just to get in I’m sending out high fives. Just relax.

tashasudo's avatar

@trailsillustrated oh trust me, we have tried using lube. It can only help so much.

@Adirondackwannabe yeah, we definitely have plenty of foreplay, that hasn’t been a problem. It just doesn’t seem to matter how long we try at it.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Okay, go slow. If it’s that big, then just go slow and your body will adjust. If he can’t go slow that’s not a good sign.

Brian1946's avatar

This thread could give “stretching exercises” a new meaning. ;-)

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Try the “backdoor” with lots of lube

Seek's avatar

If you’re small, you’re small. Keep using lube – try different brands, different types (Make sure whatever you use is compatible with your condoms) and don’t neglect foreplay.

I literally had to just kind of deal with it until I had my first kid. But if you’re experiencing real pain, it might be a good idea to talk with your gynecologist.

bolwerk's avatar

Not sure this helps, but I had the same problem with my girlfriend and she got used to me. Lube helped, but we stopped needing it.

Kropotkin's avatar

Suggest penis reduction surgery.

pleiades's avatar

You’ve got me giggling on a Friday night.

The only way to get through this is through tons of practice

AshLeigh's avatar

The same thing happened with my erm second sexual partner. It gets better every time, until it’s eventually a lot easier.
Just take it slow, and lots of foreplay/lubricant.

Jonesn4burgers's avatar

The best thing is very difficult to achieve. You need to be excited and relaxed at the same time. I had the same situation with my first husband. I had no social media to turn to, just a sister in law. (pulling out hair thinking about it)
The best way is early in the morning, while you are still asleep. He should start without you. It is possible to be aroused while you are asleep, and that is, of course, when you are most relaxed. Lubricants can be messy, and unhealthy. This way worked great for us. I would wake up taking a deep breath, and my husband just loved that. Once things are going, it is much easier, and more pleasant. For me, I thought it felt like a new level of intimacy. It is a thing of deep trust to already be having sex, but it’s okay, because you trust him.

ucme's avatar

Don’t worry, your fanny will adapt, they’re cool like that :D

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