Social Question

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

In today’s digital age when it comes to online dating sites isn’t it buyer beware?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26879points) May 10th, 2014

Disclaimer I am not shopping online for anyone; this is not for or about me. I have no membership on any online dating site.

In this digital age how can you really trust who you see? In this video it shows how a person skilled in Photoshop can severely alter a person to make them appear as a totally different person. With Match.com or other online dating sites can you really know the photo of the person you are interested in has not been ”improved” digitally?

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14 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

I tired Match.com and I never found anyone and no one talked to me… $30 wasted. I was being honest about being disabled.. the only match was a tall white Catholic woman looking for a rich man who must make $75,000 to $150,000 dollars. So I was disqualified from the start. I am looking for a tall woman who doesn’t smoke or drink. So that means everyone is disqualified.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

it’s kinda like in real life when you can’t really tell who the person is to whom you are talking/dating for many many months, if then!

lillycoyote's avatar

It’s always been buyer beware.

Pachy's avatar

Buyer, seller, dater, news reader, info seeker—on the Net, everybody has to beware.

jerv's avatar

The only difference between online dating and offline dating is the ease and speed of communication. It’s always been caveat emptor.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^ The only difference between online dating and offline dating is the ease and speed of communication.
In offline dating you know who you are seeing is at least 91% of who you are seeing less any help from makeup and Spanx, etc. Online if they, or a good friend, is a wiz at Photoshop, you have no idea the person you are speaking with looks like who they say they are online. Some mouse clicks and 25lb is gone, another few clicks, gone is half the Gray or all of it, then again, another few clicks and some wrinkles are gone as well. You can’t just erase that siting across the person face-to-face at the café.

Just saying…..

trailsillustrated's avatar

caveat emptor dude

hearkat's avatar

When I tried online dating, most of the guys lied about their height, but when I met one guy, he had clearly lied about his age and his hair looked dyed. I don’t understand it – why lie about one’s appearance with someone you plan to meet and potentially have a relationship with one day? When I called them on it, their excuse was that women won’t even look at their profile if they put their real information up. I explained that doing so would help them weed-out the shallow twits whom they shouldn’t be interested in anyway.

It was a deal-breaker for me; because if someone is so disparate that they’d lie about something they’d be caught on immediately, what else might they be lying about? Desperation is unattractive and not a trait that builds strong relationships. I don’t regret having tried internet dating, because it helped me improve my social skills and I did meet some nice guys; but I think it’s better to do what you enjoy and let love find you.

Paradox25's avatar

@talljasperman Remember when I had warned you about using match about a year ago (probably not :-)? I would go with eharmony because the way that site is set up you don’t have to compete with guys sending out tons of messages while having the women sitting back being passive.

talljasperman's avatar

@Paradox25 O.K. I will save some money and try E-harmony for one month.

trailsillustrated's avatar

^ My husband tried it and if you decide to cancel subscription it is almost impossible’; E harmony is notorious for this; also you will get emailed from them for the rest of your life.

Paradox25's avatar

@trailsillustrated I was able to cancel my emails and subscription from eharmony, and what’s the point of trying a dead end dating site when the most important reason to join one is for the purpose of actually having a real shot at meeting someone?

@talljasperman I can’t guarantee you results on eharmony, but the way that site was set up both men and women had to work equally as hard. I brought my sister a 3 month subscription for her birthday during the same time I was using it. This was five years ago though, so maybe the site changed. Personally, even though I’m somewhat shy myself as a guy, I’ve found it easier to meet people offline vs online.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Paradox25 I’ve found it easier to meet people offline vs online.
Have you met any of them and if so, did they actually look like the photo in their profile? If you were interested but never met them in real life how comfortable were you they did not use a little digital wizardry to help them out?

Paradox25's avatar

I only had met one woman, and there was no real attraction, so much so that we simply went our own ways after a brief encounter. She looked the way she did on her lone photo. On match many women seem to go crazy with posting multiple pictures of themselves, unlike on eharmony, and one mechanic whom I had worked with told me several women lied about their appearance on match.

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