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Khajuria9's avatar

How often do you lie?

Asked by Khajuria9 (1840 points ) May 20th, 2014

What I mean is that some people lie out of habit.
So, u tell me, when you lie, it is planned or spontaneous? And what is the periodicity?

And yes, please don’t get offended, this question is just for fun!

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21 Answers

hominid's avatar

Never. I never say things which I know are untrue.

I believe the last time I did was around 1992, and it was because I was an awful person.

Khajuria9's avatar

Hominid, that’s so nice to hear.
:)

GloPro's avatar

I say never, too. ~

Khajuria9's avatar

Are you not lying now Glopro?? ;)

Dan_Lyons's avatar

It is almost never planned unless it is a defense I plan to use in a court of law.

Whenever my truth would be used against me to incarcerate me, you can bet your bottom dollar I am going to lie to that police officer.
As the Shawnee Warrior’s code goes, you are not obligated to be truthful with those who lie to you daily. (I believe they were referring to the US government which has not ever kept a treaty with any Native American Indian nation with which it formed said treaties).

Coloma's avatar

Virtually never. I am just not built that way, value honesty, and short of a few, mainstream little white lies, like calling into work “sick” once in a great while because I have been exhausted and needed a mental health day, I have never lied to anyone. My ex husband was a pathological liar and it was the worst experience of my life. I have also dumped a female friend a few years ago that was a pathological liar.

I loathe liars!

Khajuria9's avatar

Ha! I loved reading your response, Dan!

GloPro's avatar

@Khajuria9 Actually, I was only teasing. Didn’t you see my tilde?
My real answer is complicated. Sure, I lie all the time. I say things like, “I’m sorry, I have a boyfriend.” “I have somewhere else to be.” And “Mmm, that was a great home-cooked meal.” These white lies are still lies, so I would say I lie daily.

The complicated part is that I do not, and will not, lie to my friends. I can be too blunt sometimes, and should probably work on my tact and delivery, but it is my sincere belief that to have an honest relationship one must be honest and expect honesty. If we are to be friends or lovers you must trust me enough to be truthful. To lie to me is to deprive me of my free will to enter into and maintain a relationship with you. If I don’t know who you are or what your life is then I cannot make choices as to the depth of my attachment to you and who I believe you to be. I have friends that I know have lied to me and I find it difficult to believe the things they say to me. Ever. It’s a shame. This is also why I only give sincere apologies. It is a form of being truthful and believable to me.

My friends and dates can expect the same from me. My family, well, they are stuck with me. I lie to them by omission of a lot of details about my daily life and choices. I consider some things none of their business.

antimatter's avatar

I don’t think I will be able to give an exact times I lied. But perhaps one lie a week or it depends on the circumstances.

seekingwolf's avatar

Very often. very very often, actually. But it’s pretty specific.

I work with many mentally ill/unstable patients at my job. Sometimes, I have to spend 8–12 hours in a room with 1–2 of them, making sure that they don’t hurt themselves or others. It can get rather difficult. I find that lying about certain things would make them happier than knowing the truth and thus, makes my job easier. Happier patients = less likely to freak out = less likely to be put into restraints = my job easier AND their stay easier. Everyone wins.

I get a read of them, what they like, what their “triggers” are, etc and I lie about myself depending on what my “read” on them is. I usually lie to avoid talking about myself, or to make myself look as non-threatening as possible.

I lie about:
-not having a degree (I have one)
-living at home (I don’t)
-not having a car (I do)
-wanting children someday (I don’t)
-my hobbies
-TV shows I like
-believing in God (I am atheist) – If a pt is extremely religious and asks if I believe in God, I say yes, which brings them pleasure, and then I say they are welcome to read their Bible outloud to me if it makes them feel better (usually does).

Of course, as GloPro said, I do the white lies on occasion to other people.

But I definitely lie the most at work.

I get major kudos at my job and I bet that’s because I know how to lie and have a good repertoire with the mentally ill patients.

I have no regrets about lying in this way and I know I am doing nothing wrong.
Just goes to show that it’s not always the action that determines if something is wrong, it’s the intent.

Dan_Lyons's avatar

—@seekingwolf When I worked with mentally challenged folk, and they asked if we were going to do something they really wanted to do, but I knew we weren’t going to be doing it; I found that simply saying no could turn them into wild, screaming banshees.
So I learned to say, “Maybe later.” It was a lie, but it mollified them.

ucme's avatar

Every time I go to sleep
why the fuck would anyone get offended?

seekingwolf's avatar

@Dan_Lyons

Haha, I’ve done that too.

However, the ones I work with, when I’ve spent TONS of time with them, they actually do ask me a lot of questions about myself. And instead of getting high and mighty no I cannot tell you that, stop being nosy, I don’t feel comfortable telling pts stuff about myself, I just lie. It’s easier that way.

seekingwolf's avatar

Okay, here’s another lie I used to tell very often.

Okay, so I’ve worked with the dying for a number of years, in a private hospice. Personal experience is that when some get close to the end, they get a little confused and start feeling an “urgency” to go. Usually, they wake up from sleep and are like “I need to go!!!” They actually start thinking that they have to catch a bus, a plane, a train, or that they will be “late” to a certain important meeting. This is something I’ve seen again and again. It’s very interesting. My own grandmother did it before she died and I dealt with it the same way as I’ve dealt with it with all the other patients.

I lied.

instead of saying “Hey, no you are just being delirious, there is no train/bus/plane, you’re in bed” I say “shhh shh it’s okay. You are very tired. Your plane/train/bus won’t be here for another several hours. You have plenty of time to rest before it gets here. I promise you, you won’t miss it, okay? I’ll be here to make sure you don’t oversleep, okay?”

Sometimes they start worrying about packing a briefcase for the “trip”, and I say “Oh don’t worry, I’ll take care of that for you, okay? We have it all taken care of. Just relax and breathe. I’m here.”

I’ve told those same lies to my grandmother too. It comforts them. They don’t need to hear the truth at that point.

I like to tell this to “moral absolutists” because it sorts of stops them in their tracks. You have to be a really cold S.O.B. to want to jolt the dying with the truth, arguing with them in their delirium, and upsetting them. No, I wouldn’t want that for myself. I’d want someone to soothe me and squeeze my hand.

Coloma's avatar

@seekingwolf It’s just as easy to say ” I don;t share a lot of my personal stuff with people I don’t know well.” Not lying is just as easy and takes less mental energy.
I told my boss, straight up yesterday when she had a yelling fit about something that ” I will not respond if you yell.” She STFU fast. haha

seekingwolf's avatar

Your boss isn’t in danger of being places in 4 pt restraints though.

Sure, not lying is “easier” but it’s harder when saying “no” to these people could mean a mental meltdown or possible violent. Yes, I’ve been attacked before. It sucks. And some get really, really angry if you say “I don’t feel comfortable answering that”. They will take it as a sign of disrespect and freak out. They don’t understand boundaries most times. There’s a reason why they are in the ward.

Trust me, it really is easier to lie. And lie I do.

toomuchcoffee911's avatar

I’m lying right now.

SQUEEKY2's avatar

We all white lie, to spare someones feelings, your invited to dinner and your host spent all day cooking and the food sucked ,are you going to tell them? I don’t think so, you might not tell them it was the best thing you ever ate but your sure as hell not going to say it down right sucked and you would rather have eaten a dead crow off the highway.
So yes I will tell a white lie but only to spare a persons feelings.

Mariah's avatar

I really don’t lie about important things but I’ll sometimes glaze over/simplify the truth just because it’d be too annoying to explain. I don’t really consider that immoral because it’s not about things that would harm anybody. I dunno.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

Hardly ever, I am very careful of what I say. If someone ask me for money and I feel by their habits and reputation they are not going to use it for what they say, I would not tell them I had no money but I would not give it to them.

SecondHandStoke's avatar

I have lied before in my life.

I referred to a man as a gentleman who clearly was not.

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