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Stinley's avatar

Do you like getting PMs?

Asked by Stinley (6206 points ) June 12th, 2014

We have the ability to send each other private messages (PMs) and I have sent and received a few. I know others have mentioned that it’s their favourite way of interacting on here. Do you like getting PMs?

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30 Answers

dxs's avatar

Sure! It’s fun. Sometimes I feel like I’m bothering people when I send them but I never mind at all.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

Absolutely. There are so many interesting and talented members here that more are sent than initially received. One member walked me through how to fix an electrical problem via PMs. Two members have asked for hotel advice.

PMs are the ideal way to have a one-on-one conversation without derailing a thread.

zenvelo's avatar

Occasionally, but I feel like PMs in any application carry an expectation of prompt response. Sometimes I am not in a position to respond promptly.

Mimishu1995's avatar

Of course! I really like it when I see the “Message for you” announces that I have PMs. It’s usually full of surprise.

And I can discuss more “private” matters or just chit-chat freely with PMs too.

FYI: PMs were (and still is, I think) the main tool of mine to instruct new jellies :)

AshLeigh's avatar

Yeah, I do. It’s always cool to connect with jellies one on one.

josie's avatar

I never get them. But what would not be to like?

filmfann's avatar

No, but I remember when my wive was getting PMS. It was always difficult to be around her during that time of the month.

marinelife's avatar

Yes, usually!

ibstubro's avatar

Yup, I do. And I often try to send one if I think there is a special occasion or sensitive topic.

dappled_leaves's avatar

Usually. There are a handful of jellies who I talk to often via PM.

What I don’t like is having someone PM me to continue a discussion that’s occurring in a question. It’s sort of like walking away from an unpleasant conversation, only to have that person follow you home, haranguing you all the way. I find it a bit weird that some people recommend this as a way to resolve conflicts.

Stinley's avatar

The reason I was asking is because I am a bit of a funny old fish and I hate it when (in real life) there is a general conversation going on and someone tries to have a side conversation with me. I find it difficult to get back into the general conversation but will cut the conversation off with the interrupter as quickly as possible. Then I have no conversation :-( I mean if everyone is having their own one-to-one conversations it’s not a problem. I feel like I might get stuck talking to the interrupter forever and that would be awful. Why it would be awful, i’m not quite sure.
So for me PMs are a little like that. I really like getting them though as they make me feel special. I just don’t know how to continue the conversation. I’m not very socially adept, am I?

ucme's avatar

Yeah, always friendly, never had a crap one, until the other day at least.
The “message” itself was fine, but the tone was so fucking pompous & self righteous.
La-dee-dah

Dutchess_III's avatar

Oh, yeah. You can share secrets about how you really feel about a certain thread or user. Believe it or not, I usually try to be diplomatic when responding to questions. If I get too frustrated I’ll go and PM a jelly friend and just vent on about how I REALLY feel!

Symbeline's avatar

Sure do, even when they’re death threats. :D

JLeslie's avatar

I like it. I like it when it is a nice message or a question I might be able to help with. It reminds me of getting real mail when I was a kid. I rarely use the PM feature though. I don’t get a lot or send a lot of messages.

gailcalled's avatar

Sometimes I do and somtimes it feels like an imposition. Occasionally people have made very odd requests, and it takes some time and energy to refuse tactfully. The few people I have really connected with use email most of the time, with two execptions. There is also the sense that we don’t t have to respond today or even tomorrow.

janbb's avatar

I enjoy having them with my close Jelly friends and also the surprise of an unexpected one from someone else.

rojo's avatar

I enjoy them when I get them and find them to be a convenient method of getting more detailed answers to something that may have been mentioned but is not really on topic.
And a couple of times I have asked questions of someone who, because of earlier posts, gives me the idea that they may have some expertise in whatever I need answers to.

talljasperman's avatar

Yes.. but I would like to have the preamble because sometimes I don’t know what the PM’er is talking about.

jca's avatar

Yes. I don’t send or receive many here. Some of my jelly friends are also on FB, so it can become “should I sent it here or on FB?”

gailcalled's avatar

(Or the trifecta of email. Such a dilemma.)

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

Maybe. Not sure.

longgone's avatar

I do. I have only ever gotten friendly and interesting ones.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Depends on what it’s about. I mostly get PMs that are people offering me support privately instead of getting involved in a heated thread. Part of me welcomes that support and part of me thinks, “well, thanks, but you’re not being much of a help you big coward.” Other times, it’s jellies answering questions that are not “allowed” in the threads – like information about specific jellies/former jellies. The last PM I got was telling me to go fuck myself. That was a nice change from the usual.

I find myself becoming less and less active on Fluther and more active on a fitness forum I’ve been frequenting, so I haven’t been receiving or sending PMs here at all.

Symbeline's avatar

Haha yeah that reminds me of something…there was a user on here a while back who wrote a huge fucking post that was basically bashing something I said along with my beliefs. Then I get a PM later from that guy apologizing to me, saying that the post wasn’t directed at me and hoped I took no offense.
Never knew how to feel about that. Why didn’t he clarify that in the thread instead of fucking humiliating me completely in public then apologizing in private? Fuck people sometimes lol. I guess I know how it made me feel el oh el

dappled_leaves's avatar

@Symbeline @livelaughlove21 Yeah, that pretty much sums up how I feel about that kind of PM. If they want to take back something they said in public… they should take it back in public. It’s just cowardly to do it only in private.

Symbeline's avatar

It is. I couldn’t see the apology as honest because it seemed to me that user didn’t care about it, they just wanted to save face with as many people on the thread as possible, including me.

dappled_leaves's avatar

@Symbeline The example you just gave actually reminds me of a specific female jelly who isn’t very active here anymore. She would always try to smooth my feathers in PM, then spew the same hateful crap in the next question on the same topic. I guess I’m supposed to have a short memory or something, hah.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Yes, such messages have very often been uplifting and motivational and have shown me how complete strangers often care to give you far more than the time of day!

talljasperman's avatar

When I first saw this question is that do I like PMS, and later realized that it is a question about private messaging.

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