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dirtydevil521's avatar

Which do you think is worse..?

Asked by dirtydevil521 (126 points ) January 22nd, 2009

so have you ever wondered which is worse saying something and wishing you hadnt or saying nothing and wishing you had…?

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18 Answers

Staalesen's avatar

I never regret the things i do.. Just the things i never did…

aprilsimnel's avatar

Not saying something and I wishing I had.

If you regret saying something, you can at least try to make amends and the chances are better than 0 that you can make things right. Not saying what needs to be said and the opportunity passes? OOF! right in the gut!

NaturalMineralWater's avatar

another vote for option 2…

“The price of inaction is far greater than the cost of making a mistake.”
Meister Eckhart

Siren's avatar

For me, the natural choice would be saying nothing and wishing I had is far worse

fireside's avatar

I think it depends on the situation.

If I was to curse someone out or not, then I would think that not holding my tongue would be worse.

If I was to offer guidance or praise to someone, then I think to not be honest and forthright would be worse.

scamp's avatar

I think it’s worse to speak when you shouldn’t. If you hold your tongue, there is still time left to speak up later on. Once the words leave your mouth, there is no taking them back.

My Mom had a comical little sign on the back porch of our summer cottage when I was growing up. It said: Caution, be sure brain is engaged before putting mouth into gear.

They were funny but very wise words.

Bluefreedom's avatar

I’ve been on both sides of the coin in reference to the questions details but I think there might have been more times, for me anyway, when I had the opportunity to say something and I let it get away wishing I could have another chance.

laureth's avatar

I would much rather say nothing than say something stupid that I regret. Words can’t be swallowed once spit out there, but you can sometimes go back and say the thing you should have said.

Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. —Abraham Lincoln

jonsblond's avatar

I say things I wish I hadn’t all the time. Wish there was an edit response time available in real life.

introv's avatar

I wonder it all the time. Unfortunately I am afflicted with an inability to keep my bloody gob shut when I have something on my mind so find myself often saying things that I wish I hadn’t. Then I spend ages analyzing what I’ve said for accuracy in the cold light of day and even more time explaining myself for what I’ve said. Nightmare.

But thats me, and I think the inner me is so terrified of not saying something when I should that I just can’t help myself. How can someone understand you if you don’t say whats on your mind? Keeping your mouth shut may save you looking like a fool but it may also make you be misunderstood. And i guess I’d rather be thought of as a fool than misunderstood – if indeed a fool is what I am!

nebule's avatar

all my life i have stopped myself from saying things in case they are deemed to be; wrong, out-of-order, rude, disrespectful etc.. I’ve finally started saying things that i feel and that are on my mind, sometimes well thought out and other times in the heat of the fiery moment. Sometimes i have deeply angered and offended people but i have been generally glad that i have said what i felt in my gut to be the right thing to say and do by my inner self.

remember; you can always apologise; but if you withhold information or thoughts or beliefs you are withholding truth and inevitably this will come across at some point as deceptive and manipulative….even if that is not your intention.

for me it always come down to honesty…be yourself, be honest and be true and if people don’t like it, its a shame but you won’t regret it.

robkorczak's avatar

As with most philosophical questions of this nature it’s probably better to speak up & if it turns out that you were wrong then you should apologize.

Without knowing more about the context in which this question is being asked it makes it much more difficult to give an all encompassing response.

I am approaching the question from a philosophical stance and from that point of view you have to consider how much “not asking” or speaking up is going to bother you.

Let’s say that you want to tell the cute girl in your class that you would like to take her out on a date. Not asking her could be one of those situations that you’ll still be replaying in your head 20 years later.

It’s a vague answer but it was also a vague question.

DrMC's avatar

This refers to acts of commision (what you did)
versus acts of ommision (what you should have done)

They are verbal.

This is a legal interpretion.

both can be wrong, even illegal. Commision is easier to detect, and more obvious.

What makes it bad/wrong?
-The outcome
-The intent
-The norms or laws for or against the act

The subsequent response (say sorry?)

Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.

The wrongness is more dependent on outcome and intent, whether the same statements caused those outcomes, then be it by omission or commision, but I think commision is more easily highlighted and blamed. Statements can be quoted.

Any lawyer will tell you – answer only the question asked and offer no more when facing a hostile interrogator.

Personally I prefer the thumb in the eye, to same individual,but that’s just a preference.

bean's avatar

both D:

you feel terrible not saying what you wanted to, and saying something you wish you hadn’t makes me feel the same… but variates depending on how important what i had to say or what i did say

beccalynnx's avatar

@Staalesen , ditto.
no regrets – i’d rather have said something that wasn’t so smart to say, than to have not said something that could have made a big (or miniscule)change for the better.

Zeena's avatar

I prefer say nothing and I won’t regret it.
Stay silent is much more better than say something inconvenient that lead you to a worse situation, especially when you are wrong and must give excuses to the person concerned.
You start by trying to prove your point of view and keep talking and talking untill you find yourself saying too much and instead of telling him the bare minimum you get involved with a true trouble, you won’t be triggered from it easily…

pashley_108's avatar

Saying nothing and wishin you had! I havent regreted the things I have said.

likipie's avatar

Either way, it hurts…

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