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emmy23's avatar

What does it mean if I have sexual fantasies about girls?

Asked by emmy23 (256 points ) March 11th, 2009

Ok so I am straight. I have never had a girlfriend, never done anything with a girl and I until recently I have never even thought about what it would be like to kiss a girl or anything. But..I have been wondering about that alot lately and I tend to have fantasies about it. I get off more on the fantasy of doing stuff with a girl than a guy lately. What is the deal. I dont think im bisexual but I just dont no? Is that normal for a straight person to have those thoughts about the same sex?

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18 Answers

augustlan's avatar

I’d say it’s pretty normal. In fact, without societal pressure to be ‘normal’, I think a lot more of us would be bi-sexual.

Lothloriengaladriel's avatar

I think its normal to be curious, Its when you act on it, Then I think you would probably need to rethink things

asmonet's avatar

It’s you exploring your sexuality in a safe way. No big. :)
Either it will die off eventually, or it will remain with you even if it’s just a fantasy. Either way you’re normal for you and you shouldn’t worry about it.

Many, many ‘straight’ people fantasize about the same sex, often.

dynamicduo's avatar

It’s normal. Just because you have a fantasy doesn’t mean you want it or need it in real life. Fantasies such as yours are safe and pleasant. It doesn’t mean you are gay, it doesn’t mean you like only women, but it certainly hints that you might get some value out of experimenting. Then again you may also get the same value from your fantasies only.

Don’t worry about labeling yourself. Labeling in general serves very little purpose for yourself, let alone labeling sexuality which I believe is more of a gradient than a few distinctive choices. I myself (a female) am attracted to females and sometimes fantasize about them, but I have not yet had a real life lesbian experience. Try to put a label on that one: not really bisexual but certainly not straight. Then I think about what purpose labeling my sexuality serves… and I can’t think of one purpose. Hence I do not label my sexuality, and if anyone relentlessly asks if I’m gay or straight I’ll tell them to kindly fuck off.

marinelife's avatar

Many people have these fantasies. If you begin to see girls in a sexual way when you look at them in school. If you feel physically attracted to then, then you may choose to explore that part of yourself.

If it turns out you are bi-sexual or even gay, embrace it.

wundayatta's avatar

Doing things in your head is a whole lot different from the ooey gooey mess that is sex in real life. Don’t worry about your head. In fact, no point in worrying about it, should it happen in real life. However, what you do in real life is the real test. What you do in your head is just your head. How many people have killing fantasies? Maybe you have had one? Do you act it out? Most people don’t. A fantasy does not mean it has to happen in reality.

That raises an interesting question: why are so many people afraid of fantasies? Why do they believe they will become real?

jonsblond's avatar

There is nothing wrong with finding a member of the same sex attractive. It’s perfectly healthy.

adreamofautumn's avatar

“Labels are for soup cans”. If it’s just a fantasy then it’s normal and healthy and you have no reason to be worried about it, if it’s not a fantasy and you’re attracted to women then it’s normal and healthy and you have no reason to worry about it! Don’t worry about labeling yourself…there is very rarely a label that fits just right anyways.

robmandu's avatar

Hmmm… how about providing some detail? Purely for academic reasons, of course.

Slow, hot, and heavy details, please.

dynamicduo's avatar

Is this where I note that I’ve been experiencing lucid dreams these past few days that involve making out or other sexual acts with women? Let me tell you I’ve never been more disappointed to wake up than I was this morning… :|

tinyfaery's avatar

General fantasies are one thing. If you find yourself fantasizing about a particular person, wanting to know someone better, wanting to flirt and touch, you might want to consider that your attraction might not be just a fantasy.

Jack79's avatar

If you’re sure you’re not gay….then you’re probably a man :P

Dreams do not always mean something. Do you feel the same way when you’re awake? I once dreamt that I was gay, but even in my dream I did not feel attracted to the guy who supposedly was my boyfriend. But if you have “wet dreams” about girls and really feel attracted to them, and that feeling continues when you wake up, then perhaps you’re simply attracted to women.

aprilsimnel's avatar

It means you’re having sexual fantasies about girls. No more, no less. Enjoy them. If you believe you want to have a sexual encounter with a woman, have one. Don’t worry about it. it’s your sexuality to explore, not anyone else’s.

Bri_L's avatar

Don’t sweat it. It would be wrong if you forced the issue in any way. go with what is comfortable. If you try kissing a girl or a guy and it doesn’t feel right, then you know. No big deal.

Divalicious's avatar

It may be because you are straight, and the thought of getting down and dirty with women is so taboo for you. The naughtiness of the unknown is exciting. I advise you to relax and enjoy those fantasies.

People seem to need something fresher, nastier, or more titillating as their experiences broaden. I sure do! Enjoy the safety of your fantasies until you decide whether to act upon them or not.

caeliste's avatar

You’re young. You’re at the point in your life where your sexuality is developing and your hormones are crazy. Fantasies are perfectly normal. Like others have said, just because you think about something doesn’t mean you want it to happen in real life. I’m a lesbian, and I have the occasional fantasy about men…but that doesn’t mean I actually want to go there.

If it turns out you do, cool. If not, cool. Don’t worry!

Zen's avatar

It’s completely normal. I know from these things. Please describe them in detail. Don’t leave anything out.

debzilla's avatar

I did too! I had an awful job rolling lint off of clothing for three hours a day when I was sixteen. During those three hours I would fantasize about girls. Mostly, a lot of making out, heavy touching, and clothes ripping. I thought I was a bisexual. I had the opportunity to go all the way with a girl in reality once, but I couldn’t get myself to. It was just a fantasy in my head. I find women attractive, naturally, but not sexually attractive.

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