What would you do if your male friend grabbed your ass?

Assuming you are a female.

It depends on the situation.

Huh, that would be pretty awkward. I would probably squeak and mumble something unintelligible and lightly hit him.

well you could just grab his balls and say, hows it feel to be unexpectedly groped, pow. though depending on the guy he might be down with that.

If he were cute…?

Like bluedoggiant says, it depends on the situation, how close of friends you are, alcohol involved, the type of people you are…
Me personally, I would probably just grab back. But if you’re asking because it happened to you and it bothered you, that’s completely reasonable. A simple and dry “let’s not do that” may nip this behavior in the bud.

Maybe he was trying to pickpocket you but covered for it smoothly.

I’d lol.

Well, I’m a male and the question didn’t specify exactly which gender this is tailored to so I’ll give it a go. If a male friend of mine grabbed my ass, I’d try my best to extract his testicles from his body by way of his mouth. It would seem like the right thing to do under the circumstances.

I would be tempted to put my fist between his eyes, but being a nice girl and all I would probably let him know in no uncertain terms that behaviour is unacceptable. But as others have said… it probably depends on the person and the situation how harshly I would react.

Since the question specifies that it’s a friend, I’d probably just grab back. If I’m comfortable enough with someone to call them a friend, I’m okay with them being in my personal space.

If Mr. Grabby-Hands is just a casual acquaintance, there would be words. A stranger might meet a not-so-friendly physical retaliation.

Punch him.

I’d go with slap.

I’ve had this happen and I just made it very clear in the moment – ”Whoa, dude. What the hell are you doing? NOT cool” and moved on. It happened again after that, with him grabbing my rack, and I slapped him. I later pulled him aside and told him that under no circumstances was it okay for him to grab me, ever, and that if it happened again, it would be a friendship-ender. He did it one more time when he got drunk, I slapped him, then called him the next day and unfriended him.

Fart it out loud!

kick a**

if he was gay, i’d laugh and then grabb his ass and give it a squeeze or two.

if he was straight, that would never happen because he would know ahead of time that he’d be in for a slap in the face and a punch in the gut. there would also be screaming involved.

but seriously if he does that again you need to call him on it. at least with a “WTF! Do not ever do that again!” and at most with what i just said above.

Dick Punch?

Laugh it off. Then punch him on the back. It’s big and meaty and probably won’t hurt too much. Probably. Unless I aim low.

The problem I ran into way more was my girlfriends—and not the romantic type—randomly grabbing boob. My response was always, “WTF” to that.

Depends. Did he buy me a drink first?

Scream, giggle, make him buy me a beer, and forget it ever happened.
What’s wrong with flirting? It’s just a form of communication ;)

@Milladyret Are you kidding? That’s not flirting. It’s assault.

If it was a good friend that was otherwise respectful, I would tell him that touching me that way was out of line. Unlike figbash, I would not give three strikes. If he did it or something like it a second time, I would end the friendship.

If it was a casual friend or acquaintance, I would say, “You just assaulted me. Touch me again, and I will call the police.” That person would then be unlikely to become my friend.

Have you ever noticed that lousy people (those who cross the lines, are pushy, care nothing for the boundaries and feelings of others) take advantage of the fact that most nice people don’t want to be “unnice”?

@Marina
If one of my male friends did that, I would have to assume that he is kidding, or I would not BE friends with him. If he did it again I would slap him, and tell him not to, and that would be the end of 1: that or 2: the friendship.

On the other hand, if someone I didn’t trust did it, that would be an ENTIRE different thing! But then again, he wouldn’ be my friend, and the answer isn’t what the question asked for.

Just a note: I wasn’t assuming that people who might answer the question were of a certain gender. I expected people to remember what gender they actually are. I think that’s how it usually works. ;-)

Punch him in the junk.