General Question

bpeoples's avatar

Best way to dispose of a body?

Asked by bpeoples (2526 points ) April 1st, 2009

Kind of knead anwrs fast. Lye? Tarps? River w/ Concrete blocks? Compost?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

31 Answers

loser's avatar

April fools?

jrpowell's avatar

This might help.

cwilbur's avatar

I understand that if you call 911, they’ll take it away.

eponymoushipster's avatar

wendy’s chili is popular.

Dansedescygnes's avatar

I sure hope you’re talking about a cat…

jonsblond's avatar

It doesn’t matter what you do, you will get caught. You do know that the man is watching you as we speak, right?

sandystrachan's avatar

Best way would be to chop it up into small enough bits they fit into a carrier bag. You then have to telephone cyclopes from the x-men so he can blast it . If he doesnt answer his phone call superman to take it away or blend it in a blend-tec blender but remember “dead person smoke, dont breath this ”

Mr_M's avatar

Always let the guy who kills worry about that. Then you shoot HIM too.

lillycoyote's avatar

Deep freeze then use a wood chipper on the frozen corpse.

Lothloriengaladriel's avatar

This is quite amusing..

freezepop's avatar

Bury it in a cemetery.

sandystrachan's avatar

Why would you dispose of the body, could feed you and your family for a while ( depending on the size of body) !.

Mr_M's avatar

Burger King’s not taking them anymore? ~

forestGeek's avatar

Creme of Human Soup

sandystrachan's avatar

Wimpy take the extra meat i cannot eat, seems to please there customers tho

lillycoyote's avatar

@johnpowell WOW! That guy’s got it down. Good attention to detail too. Yikes!

EnzoX24's avatar

First off, never kill on impulse. Not enough time to figure a plan.

Now there might not b enough time to help you out now, but the best way to dispose of a body is a pig farm. Bribe the owner or kill him (you’re a murderer now anyways, why quit while you’re ahead?). Starve the pigs for a few days then throw the body to them. A group of 5–10 that haven’t been fed for a few days will tear into the corpse leaving nothing behind. NOTHING!

bpeoples's avatar

@forestGeek—got a recipe?

My copy of “To Serve Man” is still packed.

forestGeek's avatar

6 gallons milk
2 pounds all-purpose flour
1 gallon vegetable oil
1/2 gallon white sugar
1 finely chopped human
10 cups salt
6 cups ground black pepper
4 cups garlic powder

In a 10 gallon saucepan, heat oil. Gradually stir in flour. Let this form a paste, or roux. Then, gradually stir in the milk and continue stirring until thickened. Add chooped human to white sauce mixture. Add sugar, salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Mix well and simmer for 2 hours over low heat. If soup is not as thick as desired, mix a small amount of corn starch with a small amount of water and add to soup. Simmer for 10 minutes.

mirifique's avatar

@forestGeek That is just too specific for comfort.

VS's avatar

Drive to Florida = gator bait.

PupnTaco's avatar

-Chop it up into small pieces
-Bury in four separate graves
-Dig graves ten feet deep, add copious amounts of quicklime

ABoyNamedBoobs03's avatar

Pigs. lots of hungry pigs. be sure to remove the teath and finger nails as to not hurt the little piggies’ digestion.

AstroChuck's avatar

Drop it off at Goodwill.

syz's avatar

Feed it to hyenas. Hyenas are the last of the great bone-crushers, and are able to ingest even the pelvis and skull. “They have extremely strong jaws in relation to their body size and have a very powerful digestive system with highly acidic fluids, making them capable of eating and digesting their entire prey, including skin, teeth, horns and bones.” Source

No need to go to Africa – just find hyenas in a captive setting and toss it over the fence.

qualitycontrol's avatar

is it a boy or a girl?

Darwin's avatar

Woodchipper at a pig farm.

That’ll do it.

aviona's avatar

Everyone is so funny today! I gave everyone lurve for this one!

eponymoushipster's avatar

@qualitycontrol i don’t even want to know why that would matter…

dalepetrie's avatar

Grind him up into Chili and feed it to his children
hey, it worked for Eric Cartman

YARNLADY's avatar

You can really tell it’s a depression from the tone of many of these answers. Soylent Green is not far away.

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