Social Question

rooeytoo's avatar

If you came with a warning label, what would it say?

Asked by rooeytoo (26863 points ) October 14th, 2009

I think mine might say something like, “Volatile Contents, Handle Cautiously” or “Tread Carefully if She Has a Chainsaw in Her Hands.”

What would yours say?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

53 Answers

Sarcasm's avatar

“Warning, this product is a terrible conversationalist”

mcbealer's avatar

Please add caffeine.

Barcybarce's avatar

Beware of hippie

derekfnord's avatar

Wide Load. ;-)

dpworkin's avatar

Don’t Tease The Old Jew.

PretentiousArtist's avatar

My music taste is far better than your’s
Do not try to fight it, just accept the fact

Capt_Bloth's avatar

Not to be taken by children under 12. Ask a doctor before use if you are pregnant, over the age of 60, or have severe stomach problems.

evegrimm's avatar

“Warning: Almost out of medication. Proceed with extreme caution.” :P

Sarcasm's avatar

@pdworkin but “tease the jew” is the most fun game ever!

rooeytoo's avatar

@evegrimm – I think you are winning so far!!!

chyna's avatar

Broken, but not beyond repair.

syz's avatar

“May bite if provoked.”

El_Cadejo's avatar

As of right now it would say
“Fuck off”

not havin a good day :P

laureth's avatar

Caution: May rend flesh with no warning. Unattractive, but wants affection anyway. Builds tall brick walls for you to scale in a single bound. Expects you to back up your assertions with fact. Not good with people or children. Also: cooks edibly.

rooeytoo's avatar

@laureth -wow, I thought mine was scary but you have me cowering!

But what part is sarcasm, just the rend flesh segment or the whole thing???

&

@uberbatman – I am sorry to hear that, just remember, this too shall pass! And your suggestion does make a very self explanatory & explicit warning label.

breedmitch's avatar

Can become addictive

DarkScribe's avatar

I told you so…

El_Cadejo's avatar

@rooeytoo yea i know. I keep telling myself that, but every so often ya just have one of those days were nothing at all goes right and you just cant get over it. I should just go to sleep or something.

holden's avatar

Caution: contains nuts.

CaseyWVU10's avatar

Tendency to break out in song peppered with high kicks

Harp's avatar

May present a choking hazard to teens.

charliecompany34's avatar

dont flirt with me because i will &^%$ you.

loser's avatar

To activate, just add beer.

Facade's avatar

Warning: Feed before handling. You have been warned.

rooeytoo's avatar

@DarkScribe – your label completely fits with the personna you have created in my mind based on your Fluther answers.

@loser – that is funny but makes me about half sad at the same time.

@CaseyWVU10 – my husband does that too, thankfully not always with the high kicks.

lurve to you all for your great answers

laureth's avatar

@rooeytoo – “sarcasm” comes from a root word meaning “to rend/tear flesh.”

rooeytoo's avatar

@laureth – so what you are saying is that you can be sarcastic at any time so be prepared. I have that too sometimes, but I try to curb it!

wildpotato's avatar

Does not pick up on sarcasm or jokes. Says awkward and embarrassing things with startling regularity. Will get angry if ignored or not taken seriously. Has massive trouble understanding even slightly slurred or mumbled speech.

evelyns_pet_zebra's avatar

Swears often, please remove any and all sensitive types from the immediate area. Not good with children, and has no patience for stupidity.

This reminds me of the grilling apron I want that says. “Only a few people have died from my cooking. I think they had pre-existing conditions.”

Fred931's avatar

It would be more of scribbled note on some looseleaf paper with a bit of blood on it, reading “PLEASE be careful… oh god, please HELP MEeee… all the bunnies… ahahahhahh… ahAHAHHAHhahuhuhmm…”

saraaaaaa's avatar

On the packaging it would say: ‘Open at your own risk. The company accepts no liability for any damage caused.’

aprilsimnel's avatar

WARNING! Don’t make her angry. You wouldn’t like her when she’s angry.

¡Advertencia! No la haga enojada. Usted no la quisiera cuando ella esta enojado.
警告! 彼女を怒っているようにしてはいけない。 彼女が怒っているとき彼女を好まない
AVERTISSEMENT! Ne la rendez pas fâchée. Vous ne la voudriez pas quand elle est fâchée.
ACHTUNG! Bilden Sie sie nicht verärgert. Sie möchten sie nicht, wenn sie verärgert ist.

DarkScribe's avatar

@rooeytoo your label completely fits with the personna you have created in my mind based on your Fluther answers.

I told you so…

kevbo's avatar

To prevent flaking, use sparingly and keep well oiled.

Fred931's avatar

Another possible label:
Not responsible for death or injury whatsoever. No lawyers, no problems, no biggie. You’re the one who wanted me, anyway.

Capt_Bloth's avatar

It is unlawful to use in manner other than indicated on packaging.

Fred931's avatar

Do not taunt Happy Fun Fred. (I would link to the SNL skit, but it was removed)

veronasgirl's avatar

Caution: Do not feed after midnight…

aprilsimnel's avatar

Also: Do not touch her hair without her express permission. Seriously, try it and she will bite you.

ratboy's avatar

Beware of toxic fumes.

sjmc1989's avatar

Consumer is strongly urged to have professional training in dealing with Neuroticism

forestGeek's avatar

The views expressed are solely those of the author and do not reflect the views of Mainstream America.

markyy's avatar

Removed by me

Iclamae's avatar

<Danger> Gets angry when undersexed

Iclamae's avatar

Hulk smash?

bunnygrl's avatar

Broken but keeps going anyway, sad, tearful. Smiles a lot when out in the world, so people don’t ask too many questions and leave me alone. Loves hugs. Counts blessings a lot.

forestGeek's avatar

@bunnygrl – haha, yeah for some reason, smiling a lot does seem to repell people. Lurve!!

bunnygrl's avatar

<thows hugs for forestgeek> I’ve found a smile is a great way to hide :-) A colleague (and friend) at work recently confided in me that a relative had been diagnosed as being bi-polar and it clearly upset her, she was whispering as she told me. So I hugged her and said that’s the fun end of the scale at least she’ll have good days…. I’ve got clinical depression so my only mood is down I’m afraid.

She was genuinely shocked, God love her. She said if she had to pick one person at our work who was depressed she’d never have picked me. so maybe I’ve gotten good at hiding behind that smile. <hugs> xx

Capt_Bloth's avatar

Is wearing pajamas under pants.

wildpotato's avatar

Moving parts may cause severe injury or death.

Moxy's avatar

Beware of the KEYBLADE MASTER!

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