Social Question

Spinel's avatar

Am I right to be disturbed by this woman? What action should I take now?

Asked by Spinel (3220 points ) February 4th, 2010

Where I work at my part time job, there is a woman who drools over the opposite sex. I’m not talking about a casual glance at the handsome male customer, I’m referring to her hard core obsession, to her reason (I’ve come to believe) for living.

Specifically, she is at her her climax when it comes to Native American men, and she never fails to mention Dances with Wolves at least once a day. Normally, I just smile and swallow the irritation…but that was before she got wind of the my bf’s Indian heritage.

You see, he has a good portion of Native American blood and it’s rather obvious. This woman I mentioned latched on to that fact and now she won’t leave him alone when he stops by to see me. Nor will she stop drilling me with questions!

Yesterday, I kind of exploded at her, and she backed off for the day, but today she was at it again – full speed. I work in the same department as her, so I can’t just walk away or avoid her. My bf is a shy one (as a few of you may know from some of my previous questions) and isn’t in an hurry to do something. I’m facing a brick wall. Any advice, suggestions? I’m fresh out of plan B’s.

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25 Answers

Oxymoron's avatar

You just need to keep telling her off until she gets it. Also, maybe tell her how she comes off. Tell her she seems to be way too obsessed with guys and needs to tone it down a bit, especially in the work place. If all else fails, tell your bf he has to do something. Maybe she just needs him to set her straight before she’ll stop.

augustlan's avatar

Tell her it’s insulting to act as if an entire group of people is some kind of exotic specimen. Also let her know, in no uncertain terms, that your BF is off-limits to her.

SeventhSense's avatar

I’m afraid this one’s up to your boyfriend to make a stand and your job to be patient while you want to rip your hair out. or maybe just rip her hair out edit

avengerscion's avatar

I would tell her that you don’t care to hear such comments/questions or see such displays of attention towards your bf. It’s inappropriateat at work, and she needs to stop.

Judi's avatar

Could you tell a supervisor that her romantic obcessions (in general) are a workplace distraction. I wouldn’t bring up your boyfriend though. You really shouldn’t have to deal with this. It’s her supervisors job to keep her in line.

higherground's avatar

IMO , although how this woman chooses her kind of guy isn’t right at all , it is not something we can take control of (as we can only do this much to tell her off but she might still do it again) .

BUT !

She is absolutely wrong in bringing her obsession to work , which is causing some problems for you (and probably others) . I agree with @Judi , you should let the supervisor know about this and let him/her handle it . Trying to handle it yourself might cause more problems for yourself .

princessbuttercup's avatar

Weird! That is so awful. Just ignore her full stop or when she asks you questions just smile a vacant smile at her and walk away.

susanc's avatar

Tell her it’s become so bad that you’ll have to take it up with your supervisor next. At this point MAYBE she’d be interested in learning something from you. But maybe not. Then go talk to the supervisor. Fair warning, etc. I don’t see it as being your bf’s problem, by the way. Or at least, not his responsibility.

PandoraBoxx's avatar

This seems like a form of sexual harassment. You should not be subjected to listening to a woman’s fantasies in the workplace. I would talk to your supervisor and make him/her aware that this is going on, and that it makes you uncomfortable. If you need proof that this is detrimental to the work environment to have your supervisor take you seriously, here’s a reference to sexual innuendos and comments lowering productivity.. It references research in the Journal of Applied Psychology. If your supervisor doesn’t take you seriously, talk to HR.

ucme's avatar

Find a tall building, push her over the edge & shout Geronimo!!! That at least will turn her on until she hits the ground.

TheJoker's avatar

You need to speak to your manager & explain the impact this is having on you & your ability to work. Whilst a little banter around the office is fine, she’s overstepped the mark & is behaving in an unprofessional manor.

plethora's avatar

@TheJoker is right. Or you could take her aside and in a very quiet voice tell her that if you ever hear her mention your bf again or so much as glance at him, you got no problem going back to prison….:)

TheJoker's avatar

@plethora…. Haha, nice touch!

john65pennington's avatar

Talk this over with your boyfriend. its up to him to extinguish her fire.

Merriment's avatar

Think of the most disgustingly personal things you can and when she starts “verbally masturbating” to you interrupt with a long winded discourse on say, the consistency of your poop. Do it until she tells you that she doesn’t want to hear about your personal business. Then respond with “and I don’t want to hear yours”.

Judi's avatar

@Merriment , I love that phrase, “verbally masturbating.” @Spinel use that when your talking to your boss. She will get the idea that this could be sexual harassment and do something about it for sure!

trailsillustrated's avatar

oh wierd, weird. I would just ignore this person and of course he is doing the same. it’s laughable. I never heard of this bahaviour before scary

Silhouette's avatar

I’ve been in this situation and I knew any reaction on my part would be labeled “jealousy” so I did nothing. I would watch the woman intently like I was searching for an answer to one of life’s mysteries. She became uncomfortable, feeling like a specimen in my petri dish and stopped doing what she do around me. As far as trying to seduce my man, I told him you are going to have to handle it, she will think I’m jealous if I say something and redouble her efforts. So, speak now or forever let her hump your leg.

plethora's avatar

@Merriment FABULOUS answer…..love it…:)

plethora's avatar

@trailsillustrated Ignore her???? Honey, this woman will not be ignored.

MrsDufresne's avatar

She’s whacko. When she starts in, I would do everything he does from 0:27 to 1:05.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

@PandoraBoxx gave you an excellent suggestion to start with. If that fails to resolve the problem, then @Merriment ‘s suggestion could work. Just make sure you do this when only the nuisance woman can hear you. Be as detailed as possible about diameter, length, consistency and aroma of your stool. Offer to bring her samples packed in a paper bag to work. Bring her photos if necessary. If you have a pet, describe their bowel habits as well!

plethora's avatar

@Merriment has the answer…..brilliant

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