What do you do to cope and not go off?

I will say yoga but there are times at work when I need a solution right then and there so that I don’t blow up – I go to the bathroom, turn the water on and cry out of frustration. I then stop crying and do deep breathing. After that, I call Alex to vent and that usually helps. I write it all down because you best believe that whoever got me that pissed will get complained about or otherwise thrown revenge at and I need all my facts straight for the time when I will begin my counterattack. After I write it all down, I am calmer.

@Hypocrisy_Central Hehe, haven’t heard the word “boink” in quite a while.
To calm myself down, I either go to the gym and run on the treadmill for an hour, or spend time with my dog, wallowing her and walking her. She always brings me out of any bad mood I may be in, just by being her sweet self.

Over the years I’ve been here, I’ve seen a number of people advocating that the best way to cope is to talk to people about things and try to solve your problems. It can be very easy to ignore the problems and subsume your pain in drugs or sex or whatever. You cover over the pain with a dopamine hit, which inevitably causes other problems.

It is difficult to face the person who is hurting you and open up a non-defensive dialog about resolving your problems. But it seems to me that we must make ourselves grow some backbone and grow up so we can face the people who disagree with us. The alternative is to continue to let them overrule you, and to let the pain go on and on.

You are the only one who can advocate for yourself most of the time. Perhaps it’s time to do it.

I just went running for that very reason. If that doesn’t work a good long swim and long hot shower does the trick! Time for that shower

I have a 120 gallon saltwater reef tank that’s how I relieve my stress. Watching my corals sway with the currents as their polyps open and close filtering food or my clown fish gliding in and out of his anemone as he feeds him, or my hermit crabs and snails in a constant war over who’s getting who’s shell, or my pistol shrimp constantly being and interior decorator and making sure his little cave is nice and clean for his roommate goby fish, or just looking at the coralline algae that I have successfully been able to establish on the live rock makes me happy. Not to mention the soothing sound of the water entering and exiting the tank.

A fish tank can do wonders for stress :)

I go to the range and blast some targets of go to the dojo and kick the crap out of some striking bags. If those don’t work then I’ll get wasted on good single-malt scotch.

video games.

I usually use the super power we all have – the Power of Ignore. However, after a long road trip with the worst offender in our family – I finally gave in and yelled at her.

Talking to someone about it or writing in a journal really works for me.

I used to depend on pot to get my mind off things, but that typically puts you in a perpetual daze.

I just think about the fact “is the person really worth it?” The answer will always be no. I know I will be upset about what they did, but in the long run, it’s really not worth it, and neither are they.

Officers have to deal with this type of situation almost daily and each officer approaches this situation in his own way. in a chase, your heart races to the moon and your blood pressure runs off the scale. after the suspect has stopped, if possible, i count to 20 before i exit my police car. this gives me time to calm down and to also observe the driver and occupants for their behavior. works for me.

I find the tension in my muscles and relax them while breathing in a calm manner. This works well for when I am triggered because it puts me in the here and now- and not back then. Back then=not safe; now=safe and in control.

The only thing that requires your immediate attention is if they decide to get violent.
Anything short of that isn’t worth paying much attention to if people are being just downright nasty.

@chyna I hope because you have not heard it in a while don’t reflect how often you do it. LOL LOL That alone can make some go off! LOL LOL

A class in communications skills would be helpful for those who get to the point of “going off.” Use the anger as fuel to have constructive conversation.

@Hypocrisy_Central Unfortunately, that is the case. :-(

I have learned to use logic and rationality to cope. Thanks to your my future husband.