Social Question

Blackberry's avatar

Is it just me, or is anyone else annoyed by newlywed women that won't shut up about their rings?

Asked by Blackberry (29405 points ) July 6th, 2010

After a week, it gets ‘kinda’ old….....why not brag about your husband, your brand new life, having kids etc…...you know, anything except a freaking diamond. Is it wrong to be annoyed by this, not out of jealousy, but out of just being tired of coming into work and hearing the same person talking about the same ring and the next, bigger ring that’s coming?

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39 Answers

chyna's avatar

So it’s really not about her husband, or her happiness with being married to a wonderful man, it’s about what he can buy her. I give it 3 years.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I agree. Very annoying. I’m also annoyed with the trend that I’ve seen in my local social circle of women that have been married for less than 5 years upgrading their rings. I just don’t relate to that mindset at all. It isn’t an issue of envy for me, either. I’m a more interested in sentiment than material value, so I find it a little bit unnerving that so many women seem really focused on the size of their ring. My husband picked out my engagement ring by himself, and it’s not especially substantial in size – but it’s beautiful and unique, and the sentiment is a big part of what makes it so beautiful to me. My wedding band is small and simple, and I often wear it alone. Many women seem to feel the need to flaunt their ring, even if their husband had to go to ridiculous lengths to give her the monster of a stone she feels she deserves. I just don’t believe love is measured like that, sorry.

LuckyGuy's avatar

The poor, poor, sap. He married a black hole.

Facade's avatar

Some people get caught up in the wrong things. Hopefully she’ll wake up soon.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

That would be annoying. The company that I worked for had a long line of women who got engaged over the years, and I don’t recall any of them bragging about their ring. However, each time someone gets engaged or married, there is about a week’s worth of constant cooing over it by other women. And it’s really annoying if their desk is within earshot.

@TheOnlyNeffie My fiancé did the same thing. We are going to have simple gold bands for wedding rings.

marinelife's avatar

Really screwed up to be talking constantly about the ring. Poor fella.

tranquilsea's avatar

When I got engaged I made my husband promise to not buy me another diamond. But I do remember many people just being excited when they saw the ring. They all knew us both as we worked for the same company. Their, and my, excitement was about the impending nuptials and not really the ring. The ring was just a visual signal.

We live in a society where the size of the ring seems to matter if you believe advertising. It is no big surprise to me when women (and men) fall for it.

john65pennington's avatar

Blackberry, you have to understand where some women are coming from. some think that they will never be asked, according to my wife, and that ring on her finger is like icing on a cake. it sparkles and shines and she is proud to have just been asked for the most part.

That ring means her whole life is about to change and she just wants to share it with everyone else. as you grow older, you will understand the old saying. “diamonds are a girls best friend”.

chyna's avatar

@john65pennington But as @Blackberry says, she’s already talking about the ring upgrade. It doesn’t sound to me as if she is all that proud of the ring she has.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Yeah, they don’t have much else to talk about – I always say the bigger the ring, the smaller the love.

john65pennington's avatar

In my 44 years of marriage, my wife has never asked for an upgrade in your wedding rings. did this stop me from buying something much better as our financial situation improved? no. i wanted her to have wedding rings that she could be proud of. after all, i was tired of looking at her rings that came from a Cracker Jack box. tough times in the 60s. she can now brag all she wants to.

Disc2021's avatar

Women just seem to be like that. Same story with new born babies and weddings – they belong to a sort of social-competition, primarily amongst their other female friends.

I’m friends with a few girls on facebook who’ve had babies, all in their early 20’s and late teens. Try to guess what their statues sound like on a daily basis, one after another.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@Disc2021 I’m in the same Facebook boat. I usually hide their profile until the din dies down.

jonsblond's avatar

That is very annoying, and no it is not wrong to be annoyed by this. I’m so glad I don’t come across people like that anymore, now that I’m a stay at home mom. When I was working and was asked to show a woman my ring, I found it very funny to see them scramble for words when I showed them my plain $50 gold band. teeheehee

jfos's avatar

It’s not just you. I’m usually annoyed by newlywed women that won’t shut up about their rings.

CMaz's avatar

Just tell her that you are sick of hearing about the friggin ring. ;-)

Seaofclouds's avatar

It annoys me as well, especially the talk about upgrading rings. My husband once mentioned upgrading our rings someday when we were better off financially and I asked him why. I love the ring he got me because he picked it out on his own. I don’t want another ring. Once I made my point he said okay and we haven’t talked about it ever again.

skfinkel's avatar

Bragging is tedious no matter what it is about. The fact that she loves her ring doesn’t signal anything bad about her marriage.

LuckyGuy's avatar

OMG! Did he go to Jared’s?!
Barf

aprilsimnel's avatar

Take her aside and say, “Bitsy, not for nothing, but you’ve been on about your ring for a week. Surely there’ve been other events taking place in your life besides you gaping at your ring. Enough, please, all right? Thank you.”

kevbo's avatar

@Blackberry, haha! Great observation in your Q. While overblown nonetheless, I think the phenomenon is an offshoot of evolutionary behavior/traits. (Generally) women look for men who have an aptitude for obtaining resources. For many, engagement bling is a subconscious signifier of the woman’s desireability for reproduction and the probable success of her offspring. It’s like caveman behavior for women.

And I know not all women feel this way, don’t hate the messenger, etc.

chyna's avatar

I love how @ChazMaz doesn’t beat around the bush, just puts it out there.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@kevbo You may be right. I can’t say that I agree with it though.

The desire for a big diamond seems to be generated by the media. Jewelers place ads on TV, billboards and magazines that imply that if the S/O is really loved, it will be proven with expensive jewelry. Entertainment magazines and shows spotlight the ring when a celebrity becomes engaged.

Some people are competitive. Some people feel that a big diamond represents how much they love someone or are loved. I’m fine with all of that…it just isn’t my cup of tea. To me, it is just a symbol of someone’s marital status.

Jude's avatar

She’s happy. Leave her be.

who cares?

ubersiren's avatar

I’ve never encountered such a person.

I’m probably more annoyed at men who don’t shut up about boobies. You’d think the novelty would’ve worn off by now.

tinyfaery's avatar

Some women seem to harp on so many things related to their relationships—rings, weddings, kids. Ugh. Don’t you people have anything more interesting to talk about? War, poverty, famine, Lost, Twilight…something?

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

@tinyfaery War, poverty, famine, Lost, Twilight….well that’s just wrong, lol

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@tinyfaery I wouldn’t call it “harping”...it is more like “gushing”. Let people talk about what they want to talk about. I just tune it out or politely excuse myself.

tinyfaery's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer That’s your opinion. To me it is definitely harping.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@tinyfaery I just looked up the definition of “harping” on Merriam-Webster’s online dictionary. Why I took the term to mean in a negative connotation is a mystery. You are right. I stand corrected.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer that’s interesting, I thought so, too.

YARNLADY's avatar

Good grief, if I didn’t have anything else to be annoyed about I would consider myself lucky. Your annoy threshold is very low.

DarlingRhadamanthus's avatar

I once received a gorgeous (large) ring from someone. And I never talked about it…well, I did to my closest confidantes, but never in public or with other people at work. I knew that the “green monster” would rear its ugly head. So, I was quiet about it. People would notice, how could they not? But I would smile and show it and then, just not say much….sometimes, I would turn it inward so the stone wasn’t visible. It’s much more dignified to just be quiet. Not to mention the fact that I had my doubts about the whole engagement. I was right.

And you know what @Simone_De_Beauvoir…in this case, anyway, you were correct, the bigger the stone the smaller the love. I would have given that stone away for a love that was true and sweet and kind and tender…even if it had been from a Cracker Jack box.

My idea? Get a nice ring and if the marriage survives 10 years, then give the ring that really expresses a true, genuine and lasting love…because by then, you will know.

@john65pennington….You are a mensch…what you did was just perfect! :) <sigh>

Neizvestnaya's avatar

I’ve been around a lot of engaged women and been one myself, never had any of them bragged about their rings or flaunted them annoyingly under the noses of others. What did happen was very typical, maybe it’s traditional or just an easy social custome of others cooing over the ring whether or not they think it’s that great or anything. As far as I could tell, no harm done. I’m one of those females who loves jewelry, I’ve designed and made it as a living and I’d be thrilled to death to have a diamond engagement ring and would welcome people to congratulate me on it. It’s not that big a deal like it overshadows the partner or the relationship but it’s a symbolic and usually long treasured gift from your love. Too many haters out there.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

It is usually less about the ring and more about the proposal delivery and future plans. I like hearing about it the first time, but upon hearing it over and over within a short period of time, I find it annoying.

@Neizvestnaya It would be interesting to hear from people from different countries/cultures. Surely there are some that don’t bother with engagement rings or don’t talk about the event.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I’ve encountered such women. I avoid them like the plague.

josie's avatar

My ex wife did that. She is now my ex wife. Come to think of it, she still has the diamond. Oh well.

angermanagement's avatar

I hate people like that. It definitely seems that they’re just happy with the diamond and not the actual person that they’re supposedly married to. Kind of sad.

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