Social Question

Kokoro's avatar

Is it rude if I go out with other guys?

Asked by Kokoro (1419points) February 14th, 2011 from iPhone

There is a guy that I like, we aren’t dating but we have discussed we are interested in each other – just getting to know each other better before we decide anything.

We are not exclusive, but would it be rude if I went out with other guys that asked me out? Should I discuss this with him?

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16 Answers

marinelife's avatar

Before you have even dated him? I don’t think so. He has no claim on you.

Kokoro's avatar

You’re right, I don’t know why I’m too worried about others’ feelings when most of the time they aren’t even worried about mine… thanks!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

Not in my book.

lucillelucillelucille's avatar

No,it’s not rude to date other people.You two don’t have an exclusive relationship.

partyparty's avatar

You really don’t need to ask his permission to date someone else.
You are free to do whatever you want.
If he is interested I am sure he will let you know

captainsmooth's avatar

You don’t have a relationship with him, so you should see whoever you want. But what does the little person inside of you say? ,

perspicacious's avatar

You aren’t even dating him—of course you aren’t exclusive. If you want to go out, do. No need to talk about that with this guy.

Pattijo's avatar

Since neither of you have even decided if your going to date , your free to come and go as you please .

YARNLADY's avatar

Dating is narrowed to one person only after the both of you have agreed to an exclusive relationship.

ETpro's avatar

Good, lasting relationships are best built on a foundation of communication and trust. Talk to him about how you are feeling and your concern. But if he wants exclusive rights to you without being willing to make any committment on his end, I would say it is he and not you that is rude or overly greedy.

Kokoro's avatar

@ETpro How would a conversation like this go?

Kokoro's avatar

@captainsmooth The little person inside of me thinks it is being dishonest, up to this point we have been really open to each other about things. We like each other but we don’t know if we will take it further, don’t know how we feel yet.

At the same I don’t know if I’m overthinking it and my “nice” side is taking over the logical one?

ETpro's avatar

@Kokoro I guess about like you put it to us. Tell him you are getting invitations for dates but you feel torn between being “true” to him even though the two of you aren’t going steady or even dating, and going out with other people. See what he has to say.

We often leave the most important things in relationship development unsaid for fear of sounding possessive, or because we simply assume that everyone else shares our perspective. Such gaps in communication and resulting understanding can be destructive to a relationship when it turns out the other person has very different ideas from yours, and assumed just like you that you shared their views.

Kokoro's avatar

@ETpro Thanks, I think that will make me feel better. You’re right, I feel weird about talking about things sometimes because I feel it makes me look insecure or possessive?

ETpro's avatar

@Kokoro You can slant the conversation to assure him that’s not the purpose. Let him know you find him very interesting and that you don’t want to hurt his feelings, and that’s why you are asking. Just don’t make it sound like you are hitting him up for a commitment he isn;t yet ready to make. Good luck. What a great question for Valentine’s day.

lonelydragon's avatar

I don’t think so. You are not committed to one another. Until he asks for (and you agree to) exclusivity, you are free to date other men.

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