Do you think women want exclusivity more than men when it comes to a relationship?

women can just be as elusive to settling down then men. I dated a few women who were not sure about marriage, not wanting kids, etc.

Its usually the age old question:
” is this it?”

Exclusive, not elusive…

Would never desire to “be on someone’s arm”.......however, to have the man I want by my side, that I do…
And I think it’s fairly evenly spread…..on the surface, women may appear to be more eager to be in stable relationship, but I think this has a lot to do with society’s expectations. That it’s more acceptable (which is really quite ridiculous) for men to openly admit they’re not serious about relationships.

Deep down, when you meet the person you don’t want to let go of, you will want to commit to them and wish for them to commit to you, regardless of gender.

@wildflower said it best (and clearly, too). What do you mean by “exclusively relating to the desire….for (sic) others recognition”?

Momogamous love has nothing to do with public recognition. That is ego.

@dpena
no elusive, not wanting to settle down :)

Some men want to be exclusive and settle, some women don’t. It could also be baggage from previous relationship.

I myself like being exclusive and not elusive to settling down, its good to know someone is there at the end of the day.
No more games, no more dating pool

This question has me totally confused. I can’t imagine anyone desiring to be on someones arm to boost another’s ego in front of other people. That just seems so phony and pretentious to me. We’ve all heard stories about “trophy wives”, but it is beyond my understanding. I wouldn’t do it for any amount of money.

But then again, I’m not even sure that is what is being asked here.

@scamp you are in the right mindset with the trophy wife thing. The reason I asked this question is bc I dated this guy for a long time and he would never take me out and it made me feel like he was embarrassed of me. Ive always wanted to go out with him bc I had this stupid feeling that I wanted everyone to know that I was his girl. Now I live in a small town where everyone knows eachother so maybe I wanted everyone to know. Now this guy is my boyfriend and we ate in a serious relationship and we have both matured and respect eachother better than we ever used to. So my question comes from me – still having this desire to go out and for everyone to know that we are a couple. It sounds shallow and in all honesty I dont really care what anyone thinks. I know it doesnt seem that way though. Hmm…

Laura, I don’t know how old you are, but the question is shallow and has nothing to do with building a loving, mature and long-lasting relationship. That is always between the two partners and has NOTHING to do with the outside world.

And you should also think about why you cant work out when to have sex…times that are happy and fun for both of you, or mutual compromises. If you are “embarrassed” and “feel guilty,” as you mentioned in your latest question, maybe you need to work on you and your feelings about yourself, instead of allowing this guy to put you down. You always have choices, sweetie.

Let me take another stab at understanding what you are getting at. You are proud to be his girl, so you want to go out so the whole world can see that, am I right? If so why? Does it validate you as a person? I may be reading between the lines a little here, and maybe I need glasses, but I think I am sensing a little lack of self esteem on your part. But I don’t want to jump to any conclusions just yet.

How is your relationship at home with him compared to when you do go out? Is he caring and considerate with you? Does he make you feel special? Did he say he is embarrassed to go out with you, or is that something you feel on your own? I think gail touched on something in the post above mine.

Never let a guy make you feel you are less worthy than you are. Always seek out a partner that will give you the respect and admiration you deserve. I have recommended a book to a few others here on Fluther, and I think It may help you as well. It’s called Pulling Your Own Strings, by Dr. Wayne Dyer. It’s a very good book about how to value yourself, and how to deal with manipulative people. It will also help you find your strengths and weaknesses, and it will empower you to be the best you possible.