Social Question

ETpro's avatar

Does true love mean no fear of farting?

Asked by ETpro (34498points) April 24th, 2011

Sorry to be so crude, but come-on; all human digestive systems occasionally generate methane gas. So how do you view true love? Is it accepting each other’s humanity to the point that, when alone, you can fart in each other’s presence without serious embarrassment; or is it respecting each other’s space so much you must always slip away to some remote area where the act will neither be heard nor offend olfactory senses?

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62 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Both and neither.
Just depends on the people involved. It definitely helps to accept and love your partner for their true, human self… as well as feeling like you can truly be yourself around your partner.

What do I know? My husband doesn’t fart in my presence, he chases me around in hopes of pinning me and farting ON me just to watch me squirm and scream.

john65pennington's avatar

There are extremes in every relationship and flatus is no exception. Sure, it happens to all of us, but respect is the name of the game.

TexasDude's avatar

I don’t know about true love, but true maturity, definitely.

janbb's avatar

After 37years of marriage, there isn’t much we haven’t heard or smelt.

wundayatta's avatar

It doesn’t seem to be a big deal to my wife, but I try not to make noises. I fail most of the time, but she never says anything. I don’t know about her, since I never hear her nor smell one. Pretty weird. Maybe she’s not really a human being!

Seelix's avatar

I don’t do it on purpose, and I try not to let it happen, but if it does, I just say “excuse me” and that’s that. He does the same.

If I’m home alone and I feel one coming on, I’ll let ‘er rip. I won’t do that in front of anyone, just because I think it’s rude.

bob_'s avatar

Screw “I’m sorry”.

Love means never having to abstain from farting.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

No. True love is knowing each of you occasionally burp, fart, have stomach issues, make the bathroom stinky, hold each other’s hair while bringing up yak, that kind of thing. It’s nice to at least try not to subject anyone else to it if you can help it and if you can’t help it then say, “excuse me”.

Bellatrix's avatar

He farts, I fart, the dog farts and even the cat farts. My kids don’t fart (or they only do silent but deadlies and then blame the dog) ... shrugs… the kids do frown at us if we let one go. We don’t do it on purpose. It is a natural occurrence and if it is particularly odorous I have been known to get pretty vocal with said husband, dog and cat. My husband has NO sense of smell. I don’t fart in front of people outside of the home. There are some limits!! Well except when I was pregnant and there was that incident in the book store… but I moved down the aisle so my then husband was where the odour moved to and he got the dirty looks and “oh really!!!” comments. :-D

When I was a kid, my cousins and I used to have farting competitions. Who could do the loudest, the smelliest, the longest…I blame my aunt for my lack of horror at farting.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Perhaps it’s because I’m a nurse and I’ve seen a lot, but farts don’t bother me. We’ve farted in front of each other and we’ll say “excuse me” or sometimes my husband says something silly like “damn house settling” or “damn squeaky chair”, but other than that, we really don’t even acknowledge it.

JLeslie's avatar

My husband seems proud of his bodily noises. I find it quite annoying. I still giggle at times from it though, while telling him he is awful and saying stop it stop it.

Jude's avatar

I have a hard time doing it in front of her. That’s just me, though. In fact, I don’t think that I’ve ever farted when with her.

Now, she on the other hand (she’d kill me) let a few slip. Once, when playing Wii boxing (sounded like gun shots firing off haha) and another time at a visitation. We were up checking out the flower arrangements that people sent, and, suddenly, there was this God awful smell. I asked her if she let one loose, and she said “no, it must be the flowers”. LIES! It was her. lol!

SamIAm's avatar

I always get so worried when I’m with other people – mostly guys! Sometimes you just can’t hold it in! But I had one REALLY bad experience with a guy I was dating and my stomach broke late in the night and I couldn’t keep it in but I didn’t want to go to the bathroom (it was going to be messy and my bathroom is very close to my bedroom). It was a disaster and I’m still traumatized. I had to finally ask him to leave at 5am because I couldn’t sleep. I was in SO much pain… I now make sure I take Beano before meals, and avoid certain things (like red wine) that hurt my stomach.
So I think it’s a thing of maturity as well but I also think it’s how comfortable you are with someone. I wish there was a cure though because this anxiety over it is becoming an issue in my life!!!

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

No, love is more than that, so much more but if a partner wasn’t okay with me farting around them, they wouldn’t be my partner. I just don’t get people being grossed out about that.

zenvelo's avatar

There is a big difference between fear of farting and being impolite. I can fart around my girlfriend, but I don’t unless necessary.

casheroo's avatar

I actually know quite a few married couples (many years, multiple children..) and they don’t fart in front of each other. To me, that’s crazy. It makes my stomach hurt thinking about holding it back all the time!
I’d say it shows you are okay with being yourself, you don’t have to be in love for that.

sliceswiththings's avatar

Yes yes yes! That’s been my answer for all Fluther “is it love?” type questions! That’s also how I know who my best friends are: the ones I fart in front of (/on).

DominicX's avatar

“The sexiest thing a woman can do for a man is learn to love his gas. Love the gas Meg! LOVE IT!” – Peter Griffin

I’m kind of with @Seelix on this one: “I don’t do it on purpose, and I try not to let it happen”. That’s generally how I feel as well, when I’m around anyone. I just don’t like farting in front of people, no matter who they are, I’m sorry. But if it does happen, then so be it. I’ll just roll with it…

My boyfriend on the other hand doesn’t seem to care. He’d fart in my presence and I don’t care, but you’re not going to see me do it much. :\

Though I did recently tell my friend “gay people don’t fart”... :P

klutzaroo's avatar

I tooted a lot today. My fiance didn’t bat an eye. Then again, it was mostly just noise. When he farts, I just laugh. Unless I need to run away. ;)

Pandora's avatar

A true love should at least give a warning in case the other person needs to flee.
I mean some people can make an elephant tear up.

klutzaroo's avatar

I heard the dog fart a little while ago. I ran.

Pandora's avatar

@klutzaroo Never good when you can hear your dog fart. Those are usually really bad.

blueiiznh's avatar

It means the honeymoon is over

zenvelo's avatar

When I was a freshman in college, a couple of us went to visit one of the “old guys” from the fraternity, who was living in town, and dating a girl who was older.

Dan and Annie were sitting on a couch, next to each other, with Dan’s arm around her shoulders, while we watched TV. Dan lifted his cheek next to Annie and let one go. All of us freshman thought, “man that guy is so cool.”

dabbler's avatar

On the occasion of an office fart, a work colleague used to say “bless you” as if you’d sneezed. This vaporizes the taboo factor, lets folks be comfortable to be the animals we are, and sort of puts it in perspective.
Now I’d not recommend farting on the first date but if you enough spend time with anyone eventually they will let one go in your presence. It’s just not an emergency and shouldn’t be treated as such. Have a laugh.
Certainly this is cultural though, from what I’ve heard among the nomadic tribes of desert countries in Northern Africa it is totally intolerable to be detected letting one lose. Not sure why this is, they have lots of wind there to dissipate it. Maybe it’s the close confines of the tents.

Vincent_Lloyd's avatar

Hah I’m sorry to say, but that made me giggle a little inside. But I can’t say, but either way we all have the urge to fart…I think out of everything I have a major issues with it since I have this stomach problem, at least so I think.. But I can’t say you can keep it from your love forever I bet your S/O might have ripped one…But over farting isn’t a big deal in a relationship, just don’t do it in public…or anywhere where it can be at the wrong times…I guess is a way to put it XP hope that made sense and hope it helped!

ETpro's avatar

@ANef_is_Enuf, @Simone_De_Beauvoir & @casheroo Great answers. Well said.

@john65pennington I suppose. Seems from the answers I’ve gotten, it depends on the individuals involved. To be sure, true love means knowing how your partner feels about the little things in life.

@Fiddle_Playing_Creole_Bastard Yep, at my age, I now understand what people mean when they accuse me of being an “old fart.” :-)

@janbb 34 years here and counting. Amen to that.

@wundayatta I could lend my wife to her to give her some lessons. :-)

@Seelix Yeah, if I am out and about, I will look for an abandoned stretch fo sidewalk with nobody close behind me then wait for a truck or buss to come rumbling by.

@bob_ Let’s hear it for Bob. Note that I said for, not from. :-)

@Neizvestnaya Great answer. You have to let your partner be human.

@Mz_Lizzy For shame. I am pretty sure true love is not stealth farting then withdrawing to let your spouse take the wrap for “putting on airs.” :-)

@Seaofclouds Sounds like a pretty healthy attitude toward life’s little “inconveniences.”

@JLeslie Maybe what seems pride is just a way of covering or trying to deflect embarrassment.

@Jude The Flowers? Ha! A likely story, indeed. :-)

@SamIAm Wow. I’ve been married a long time, and I really hate when my digestive tract is torn up at night. I will get up and go the far bathroom to let out gas. Those darned undercover farts stink for hours. You do need to get to the point where you can live within your own body, though. Best of luck on becoming confident enough of your own self worth that it is not based on being completely gas free.

@zenvelo Agreed.

@sliceswiththings So BFF doesn’t just mean Best Friends Forecver? :-)

@DominicX I’m curious about the statement that “Gay people don’t fart?” Is that lack of gas what they are all so eternally happy about?

@klutzaroo The kind do come along that make you both evacuate the area. :-)

@Pandora Don’t you think that a true love would know how their mate regards such matters?

@klutzaroo & @@klutzaroo Dog and cat farts are deadly stinkers. It’s the all meat diet. Not that elephant farts smell all that wonderful either. :-)

@blueiiznh I guess that’s right.

@zenvelo Funny what impresses us as freshmen isn’t it? :-)

@dabbler The office that farts together works off the charts together.

@Vincent_Lloyd Thanks. Makes perfect sense, and I totally agree.

JLeslie's avatar

@ETpro He is definitely not embarrased. Just Reading that makes me crack up. I need to tell him someone thinks that. He will purposely walk over to the room I am sitting in so he can fart or burp where I am just to piss me off, and then tell me he is sharing. I flipping hate when he talks as he burps, like a big drawn out talking burp, I don’t even know if I can describe it. When he does it, I start screaming at him and he smiles and laughs. Like a 7 year old. Definitely not embarrased.

ETpro's avatar

@Vincent_Lloyd & @JLeslie I am glad that the question and answers if brought gave you a smile. That was the whole purpose, but as usual on Fluther, when I try to just ask something amusing, I end up learning a great deal for the answers. I may go for a PhD in Fartology based on this knowledge.

JLeslie's avatar


God, I forgot to tell you that in the last year my husband came up with a new saying. When he burps really loud, for sure I at minimum flash him an I am so disgusted with you right now look, and his new thing is after the loud burp to smile, giggle and say “dinosaur.” fucking idiot makes me laugh even when I am so pissed.

ETpro's avatar

@JLeslie Now isn’t that precious? :-)

JLeslie's avatar

You just never know what goes on behind closed doors.

Bellatrix's avatar

@ETpro That man could kill an elephant with his farts and he didn’t hold them back so you could call it poetic justice :-D. I didn’t do it on purpose exactly but it gave me a good laugh and he was a bit of an asshat so “all in love is fair!”

ucme's avatar

Pish & tosh! True love is embracing the “follow through” & i’m not shitting you here. Well I am, but the line kind of cried out for a crap pun, so I obliged.

klutzaroo's avatar

Uhoh… *giggle * Dinosaur?

Ladymia69's avatar

My hubby and I fart freely and proudly. Sometimes, he accompanies me in the bathroom while I am evacuating. And I him. Bodily functions are fun. He has talked about recording my farts and making them into a symphony, because he swears they are pitch-perfect notes sometimes.

Berserker's avatar

When I was dating my boyfriend, things picked up really slow, but eventually we were pretty much living together, even if we had each our own place. We farted around one another constantly. We didn’t care, and often made stupid comments or jokes about it. Not because farting was embarrassing and we felt we had to cover it with humour; we were completely passed that. But because we thought it was funny, and we were totally immature haha. Sometimes we didn’t say anything at all. But it was all fine. It became normal. Because it is, after all.
Same with burping, although less jokes were attached to those.

As for the whole privacy issue, well as I say, we both had our own place, so I didn’t consider it him wanting privacy if he invited me over, or me him, and him accepting. But say we had lived together, and he was in his personal space, like a work room or wtv, I wouldn’t just barge in there and let er rip, no.
He also didn’t like it when I came in the bathroom when he was taking a dump. The first time I did that, he asked me to please not do it, so that was that. I can respect people’s privacy, farting or not lol.

Bellatrix's avatar

LOL@LadyMia. That is so excellent. How funny… if he does, we do want to be the first public audience of said symphony.

ETpro's avatar

@ladymia69 I can’t wait for the link to the YouTube clip of the recording.

@Symbeline Thanks for your take on it. Gas is a gas, but beyond the bathroom door, thou shall not pass. :-)

Berserker's avatar

@ETpro lmao XD Also, that’s ’‘shalt’’. :p

ETpro's avatar

@Symbeline How right you are. My old English is getting old.

Berserker's avatar

Lol stop making me laff :D

Berserker's avatar

Lol fyne then. :D

Ladymia69's avatar

If you make her laugh hard enough, she might FART.

ETpro's avatar

@ladymia69 Great idea. For each one, I get a free gas pass.

Seelix's avatar

@Seaofclouds’ comment about her hubby saying “damn house settling” or “damn squeaky chair” made me think of my best friend’s dad. When we were younger he’d say “Damn barking spiders!” or “Did someone step on a duck?”

blueiiznh's avatar

@Seelix OK that is scary….My dad says both of those two lines also!

Seelix's avatar

@blueiiznh – Is your name Christine? Are you a new mommy? ;)

blueiiznh's avatar

@Seelix twin children from different fathers. I have answered to many things, but not Christine. Yet.

OpryLeigh's avatar

I choose not to fart in front of my partner or anyone else. It’s not that I don’t consider the love between us to be “true” and I am not disgusted at him when he lets one go, in fact, because he doesn’t fart in front of me very often, I find it highly amusing, it’s just, I have a serious case of farting phobia! I hate the fact that I need to fart on the odd occassion and I even get embarressed if I am alone when I fart so, farting in front of anyone else would be traumatising for me!!!

@Jude Your answer just made me cry with laughter! “No it must be the flowers”.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

I dated The King of Farts for two years. Even his family members warned me about it. Coming from a family that rarely passes gas, it was fascinating and disgusting all rolled into one.

In a way, I suppose it was a positive life lesson. According to a friend, the average number of times a person passes gas in a day is 15. While our family members fall well below this mark (I polled them), I came to realize that it is just a natural function of the body. I don’t blink an eye when my SO does it, although in some cases it is worthy of a teasing. As for me, I have learned to avoid eating Vindaloo.

ETpro's avatar

@Leanne1986 Thanks for your input. Being it’s sometimes a necessary function of life, it seems it would be well to shed at least some of the embarrassment. Certainly, in provate, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.

@Pied_Pfeffer If the average is 15 a day, I wonder how many it takes to be crowned the King of Farts.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@ETpro A lot more than 15, and all were loud and lethal-smelling. And it just dawned on me…he lives in Chicago, a.k.a “The Windy City.” How appropriate is that??

ETpro's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer A doctor might have been able to offfer him some help. He’s probably just got a digestive system that can’t break down complex sugars easily, and they end up turning to methane gas in his lower digestive tract.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@ETpro You could very well be right. All I can tell you is that he ate properly, exercised regularly, and wasn’t overweight. And that was almost 20 years ago.

Response moderated (Writing Standards)
ETpro's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer Aha, well it’s water (or in this case Gas) over the dam now, I guess.

Pied_Pfeffer's avatar

@ETpro Exactly, at least for me. His wife is the one that needs to put up with it now.

ETpro's avatar

@Pied_Pfeffer My advice to you is don’t advise here.
This message brought to you by ET’s Free Advice™, “Worth every penny you paid for it.(c)”

ETpro's avatar

Oops. Terrible typo. I meant to write, “don’t advise her.” Her meaning his current wife. Sorry that the misspelling made that sound so snarky. I did not intend that at all. I meant to be humorous. Darned spellchecker.

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