Make as you go story?
Lets make up a story. You are sitting in a chair at a hotel. What happens next. Be creative and have fun!
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The waiter brings me my roast duck. Unfortunately, it’s still alive.
Being by nature a quick-witted geek, I quickly bite off the duck’s head.
Then, a man walks up to me. poor ducky :(
The man shouts, “I am here from the local chapter of the audubon society! Have you seen this duck?” whips out a picture of his duck
I debate whether to lie to him or not. Considering the fact that I have feathers all around my mouth, I confess that I have seen it and in fact just killed it.
Fortunately, Canvasback ducks are in season, their wedge-shaped head and bill profile readily distinguishing them from the redhead, who waddles into the room.
Then Coloma shows up, devoted lover of waterfowl, and smacks said Duck cannibal and red headed step partner in crime, upside the head with a 50lb. sack of cracked corn.
Resulting in whiplash and a few missing teeth.
Someone cries out “Is there a doctor in the house?!!!”
No! cried the hotel manager. Phone an ambulance!
But, alas, the ambulance arrives in chaos! For it cannot decide on the victim to hospitalize… Is it the duck cannibal, or the duck itself? The ambulance cannot fit them both!
Response moderated (Spam)
And the child was in a real ambulance!
for getting a broken nail
and then the finger with the broken nail fell off. They started sewing it back on.
but the doctor missed and started sewing his own finger to the childs
Response moderated (Spam)
which would allow the mad scientist to take over the world!
He had already tried making other human spiders, but they all got killed by giants.
So he decided, instead, to open a restaurant.
He called it, Entrails Entry; Delight your guts!
It mostly served roast duck.
However, He only used ducks that he knew carried the avian flu, and he seasoned them with anthrax and prions.
This is how every zombie movie ever was started. The doctor became rich beyond belief.
That was until his rival, the abandoned Mormon housewife, developed schizophrenia and chased around an invisible vampire. This resulted in the crap known as Twilight which for some awkward reason became a massive fad that shunted out zombies for a bit.
Until the Doctor decided to start his experiments again, this time, choosing a different subject…
@queenie if it’s Rebecca Black, I will slap you. lol
Of course it wasn’t Rebecca Black, because that would be an asault to our senses. The doctor decided to find something that seemed inoccuous, but could ultimately wreak havoc on the community.
Ke$ha was exposed to the zombie virus, and became horribly mutated. Of course, nobody noticed that part, since they were used to it. Her sudden obbsession with the human cranium, however, was noticed by all. The zombie virus was passed on to some unlucky audience members, and so it began…
Those unlucky audience members turned out to be the staff of the White House and Congress.
And what did all the members turning into zombies change for politics?
Not anything much different than before.
Or it must be that they infected Obama, who, on his visit to Great Britain, did the same to Queen Elizabeth.
And so it became that even @ucme was now a zombie…..
Now, the whole world sees this…
gOd Bless AMericA
The only person to save the world, and UCME, from zombie politicians could only be…another politician not touched with the curse…but who?!
…now we fucked.
George Bush advances upon the masses of zombies, with his own gigantic army of trolls, goblins and other genetically modified Middle Earth creatures of darkness…he raises his arms to the sky and shouts…TO WAR!!
Then the masses of zombies, trolls, goblins and other genetically modified Middle Earth creatures of darkness ran toward Obama and his army and destroyed them. Then a crazy, rabies infected chipmunk came into the battle field and bit George Bush!
Oh snap, said he…but it was too late. As he slowly turned into a stark raving mad drooling creature, George wished he has listened to Xena, and enlisted her help when she offered it…Now, with Obama and Bush gone, total chaos reigns, as zombies and goblins eternally fight each other.
Until the rotting flesh on the zombies makes their ligiments fall apart and the goblins eat the rotting remains
So now we have a massive army of goblins and orcs running around…and they demand nourishment.
They head towards Entrails Entry…
Where the mad scientist served them rattle snake stew and frog egg cornbread.
Which was a huge mistake, because now the goblins and orcs are zombies. The situation just took a turn for the worse.
Now we need another uncursed politician…but who?
Response moderated (Spam)
True… But all of a sudden the ducks came back!
Seeking revenge, the ducks plan an aerial attack on the restaurant, but first must get a man -er, duck into the restaurant.. in the most ill-conceived way imaginable
They took advantage of the date – December 24th – to dress in red and squeeze down the chimney. The younger zombies squealed in delight, and the older zombies simply stared dumbstruck.
As the ducks went and tried to destroy Entrails Entry…
Only to be met by gOd blesS AMericA!
Zombie terrorists attack from out of nowhere!
This was it…it was time to call Xena and Gabrielle. Or just Joxer.
The zombies get in close to detonate the explosives on their chest, but being zombies and lacking mental and motor skills went and blew it.. up.
As the rubble scattered, it hit innocent citizens and they came later with pitchforks and torches to the owner demanding what?!?
And so they yelled and screamed, “WE WANT ROASTED DUCK!” but the owner of the restaurant said…
“But my restaurant!?!”
“Owner, wait!” came the voice of the bus-boy from within the ashes of the restaurant, “I shall save us!” For within his hands, the corpses of the 277th Antidae Air Corps.
The owner yelled, “Yes! Were saved!” and the citizens came running orward to claim their prize.
A steaming plate of sauteed cracked corn.
The citizens rejoiced, claiming their entree of duck and side of sauteed cracked corn, until the cold realization struck their desperate tastebuds: The duck is… cue dramatic music overdone!
and, one of dozens, tainted with botulism!
Once more, pandemonium and horror erupted with the first projectile vomit, that unceremoniously splattered across the room….
Splattering the chest of the transvestite mercenary who had just entered the doorframe.
He ran his finger through the emesis that was now coating his blood-red leather corset, brought his hand up to his mouth and exclaimed;
“Well, I’ll be darned! This tastes exactly like…
‘Chicken and charcoal soup! But, unfortunately for you, mate, you’ve just ruined my favorite leather corset..” And s/he draws her/his sawn-off shotgun and holds it at arm’s length. “Who’s the unfortunate soul who soiled my corset!”
Quickly, Meatloaf, who was amongst the crowd, made a break for the door. The Transvestite quickly shoots Meatloaf to the horror of everyone else. Seeing the horror and fear upon the face of the good people, the transvestite simply shrugged it’s shoulders and said, “It was a mercy killing.”
Then all of the zombies jumped to their feet and began to dance the Time Warp because, as it happened, the transvestite mercenary was actually a Hollywood director looking to cast a new interpretation of Rocky Horror (thinking that the original just lacked that “oomph”)
“No! No! No!” Shouted the transvestite director (former mercenary), “If I told you once, I told you a thousand times… NEVER…
touch the red button!”
“But, what does it|” just then, the transvestite was launched into outer space.
Outer space was a big place. And cold. Very cold.
Especially when people forget to put on a space suit before a launch.
And then there’s the small matter of reaching escape velocity.
Or not.
The hapless frozen transvestite director was in for a surprise.
Not that he would notice anything. Functional brains require warmer climates.
Gravity is relentless. And patient.
The planet below kept growing bigger and bigger.
It was a beautiful sight. If deep-chilled people were able to enjoy it.
Then it was time for the surprise.
A very hot surprise.
The journey through the atmosphere took some time.
Not that he would notice anything. Functional brains require cooler climates.
A little girl stood on the porch of her house.
It was already dark and she admired the cloudless night sky.
Her mother called.
“Just a minute, Mom,” she said, and a smile lit up her face.
Up in the sky there was a bright shooting star.
She made her wish.
And then the “shooting star” formerly known as the Transvestite rocketed down and nailed the little girl, this resulted in an irritably high pitched wail to spring from the mother.
The mother leaped onto the transvestite, raking her face with her tiger lady nails.
In the resulting scuffle, wigs and high heels went flying, pantyhose were shredded, and lipstick smeared into grotesque, clown like smiles.
As the transvestite was destroyed by the mother
“Cut!” Yelled the real director, who was actually directing a movie based off a LSD trip he took not so long ago.
And the aliens observing the scene looked down and laughed.
As they sipped their magic mushroom shakes…
“Do that again!”, one alien said to another. “The trails were amazing!”
But then the aliens got high from drinking there mushroom shakes
…And entered an ancient alien ritual called D’hynjredia, which…
made all of them do the macarena
which in turn made them all die.
The end.
Time for a new story :-D
It was a dark and stormy night…..
HE was born in a way in which no one else knew or even had heard of…
and since no one knows or heard of, we’ll just skip right on.
HE emerged with with much struggle from his mothers eye, a wretched, deformed creature with one, large pointed tooth, in the middle of his….
…forehead. As the household cat jumped up to greet this new arrival, it was struck by lightning, fusing it with HIM, to create a horrible, mutant monster.
In light of this strange mutation his mother named him ‘Clawed’....
Clawed grew up to be a hideous monster and when the day came for him to go to school…
Clawed loved ‘show & tell’ sharing time.
Anytime a child forgot their sharing, Clawed would volunteer, and this made him very popular. There were always so many questions about his forehead tooth, and the cat growing out of his shoulder. Once a little girl asked…..
“How do you use the toilet?”.
and Clawed answerd… “I DON’T!”
“I’ll show you mine of you show me yours” she whispered, lifting her polka dot dress to reveal Little Mermaid panties.
Clawed slowly unzipped his pants and to her great surprise a….......
Powerpuff girls boxer was seen by her eyes.
Clawed gasped in horror and fainted. But on his way down, his forehead tooth got stuck on the little girl and beheaded her. Later clawed woke up and…
Began sucking on her skull like it was a lolipop.
The teacher was not amused, she made Clawed call the girls parents to tell them the sad news, they took it well, and actually seemed happy, now they could travel the world childless.
Clawed was sent to detention until the lunch bell rang, he opened his lunch sack to find….
a can of cat food.
Clawed was delighted, it was his favorite flavor, Tuna surprise!
After wolfing down his lunch he decided to join some of the other boys in a game of…
Spin the bottle, for they had all aged 12 years in the space between comments. Clawed had grown into a questionable young man.
very questionable indeed…
And where once there was nothing, now there was something, and it was big!
Clawed looked down at himself and wondered what this strange thing was growning in his…
VEGETABLE GARDEN.
For there was a carrot.
Growing in the vegetable garden he carried around in his pants.
The carrot was glowing, it was a magic carrot, and Clawed knew, his seed would be famous someday.
If only he could find a honeybee to cross pollinate with.
Clawed wandered out into a large field of Dandelions behind the school and lay down in the sun, pants open, his magnificent carrot waited, and then it happened…...
A giant queen bee came and sat on his magnifiscient carrot, and turned him into an average guy with pimples and a small dick.
@queenie
Excellent! Thank God! You have rescued a dwindling plot! lol
Okay…next? ;-)
Clawed immediatley thougt of a name to call himself and randomly thought of Joe…
Alright. You pervs have ruined the story. I’m outta here.
@jellyfish3232 I think i can fix this. Joe then found out that he did not like being normal, so he make a time machine to go back in time and tell his past self about what happend. The past clawed did not do what he was going to do and now the future clawed was back to normal. But he found out that by going back in time, he would change his life, becuase… (please nothing perverted)
when he went back in time he accidentally stepped on a butterfly which resulted in spelling of the inglish langooage to b messd up. FOUREVAR.
souh with thate the inglish langooage waus messd upp ande hee needed towh fics it bie…
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