Social Question

BeccaBoo's avatar

How perceptive are you to your friends needs?

Asked by BeccaBoo (2725points) June 4th, 2011

Can you tell when your friends are upset and need to talk? Or when they are hiding their emotions? Do you switch on and try to ignore it? What about when they go on and on about the same problem and never do anything about it?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

8 Answers

MilkyWay's avatar

I’m the type of friend that will listen and not say a word, unless they ask me to. I always know when they need to talk, or are in need of some emotional support.
If they’re hiding they’re emotions, then I won’t probe them much, as I believe they will talk in their own time when they’re ready to.
If they go on and on about the same problem, I’d get a little bit hard with them, telling them to sort it out and stop moaning. Ask them if they want any help and if there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.

SoupDragon's avatar

Almost completely oblivious to them.

Vunessuh's avatar

A few of my good friends are generally really happy people so it’s easier to tell if something is wrong, but regardless, if I’m not sure and I feel like something is “off” I’ll just ask if everything is alright. If they choose to say ‘no’ and hide their emotions, I won’t push the subject. They’re free to tell me what they want, when and if they want to.

I have known some people who bitch and bitch about the same problem to no end and I eventually remind them that they are responsible for working through the issue and seeking help and recovery if needed. I am not a sounding board to be taken advantage of. I have known and do know people who I believe never do anything about their problems because the sympathy and pity they receive from other people is more valuable to them than actually taking action. Sounds harsh and a little far-fetched, but some people will do anything for a bit of attention, even if it means allowing their problems to control their life.

I respect people who take control of their problems, even if it might take a while for them to end or subside. No one says you have to hold everything inside. We all know how relieving it can be to seek support from the friends we know will accept and listen to us and vent to them and get what’s on our mind off of our chest but there’s a difference between doing that and being an emotional leech that is stuck believing or pretending that things will never get better for them and avoiding any suggestions for progress and solution made by friends that could help them. I can tell the difference and when I start to feel like I am being used by an emotional vampire, I’ll begin withdrawing from the friendship. Those people are toxic and flipping a switch “off” and trying to ignore it won’t discontinue the unhealthiness it brings to your life.

lifeflame's avatar

I think there are two questions.
One is how perceptive you are.
One is how you deal with their emotions, particularly when they are negative.

To answer that, I think I’m generally pretty perceptive.
I’m also pretty emotionally practical when it comes to being there / talking through / deciding to move when it comes with dealing with their emotions. It all depends of where I am personally in my life and how much I feel that I can take or that listening is helping them. (There are things which, I think, that some people just need to figure out for themselves.)

AshLeigh's avatar

I’m amazing at it.
Whenever my friend is upset, and I say “How are you?” They’ll say “I’m fine.” and I’ll say “Don’t lie to me.” then they’ll tell me…
Or when my friend Jazzie was upset. I looked her in the face and said “I know your family is falling apart, but I don’t think God is the right one to be mad at.” And she looked all shocked and said “How did you know that?”
I just read them. That’s all.

jerv's avatar

I tend to be somewhat oblivious to the feelings of others. When/if I finally do notice, my reaction depends largely on whether having a shoulder to cry on would actually help or whether they are just being a victim/drama queen again. Some people really do need sympathy, but I’ve run into more than a few who just need a swift kick. (My mother-in-law immediately comes to mind.)

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther