General Question

akacruise's avatar

What is sacred in a marraige?

Asked by akacruise (6points) May 8th, 2008

My husband tells his friends everything about our finances, what we do, what our plans are etc. I tell him that there are some things that he should not just discuss with everyone, he does not see anything wrong with it. I purposely have to keep some things from him because I know he will just sit around and gossip about it with his friends. His friends do not tell him anything about their personal lives they just listen to him and comment on his.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

6 Answers

cheebdragon's avatar

Its not very different than what your doing right now….....

scamp's avatar

My SO does the same thing and it drives me nuts! I am about to take a job in the company he works for, and it will be very uncomfortable for me because he has told his co-workers way too much personal stuff about me. I wish I could tell you how to get him to strop, but I haven’t had much success with that myself. I think once I start the job, I will give him a little taste of his own medicine. That should make him put a cork in it!!

LunaFemme's avatar

In my experience people are very emotional about their money. It sounds like money means different things to you both. Maybe you can spend some time trying to understand what it means to him while explaining what it means to you. Maybe, he will become more sensitive to your feelings & talk less about it with this clarity. And, maybe it won’t bother you as much understanding what it means to him? Good luck to you, this can be a difficult problem.

gailcalled's avatar

I see this as a serious problem,also. Perhaps you need a trained third party to help him listen to you.And perhaps to help discover why he needs to spread so much private info around, particularly since he knows it upsets you. Personal and private matters are just that. And your financial affairs are NO ONE’s else’s business.

richmarshall's avatar

@ gailcalled~~ Wise woman. There are things in a marriage/partnership that need to be private. Even if you don’t agree on everything you need to have each others back.

DeezerQueue's avatar

He clearly has a different set of values than you do. There are plenty of things that are far worse than this.

If you can’t negotiate this between the two of you, then you should find a neutral party to help you iron it out. It isn’t always about getting what you want in a relationship, it’s about both parties doing what’s necessary to make it work and that means compromises from both parties.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther