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Hibernate's avatar

Do you agree with: "Forgiveness is the power that breaks the chains of bitterness and the shackles of selfishness" ?

Asked by Hibernate (9050points) October 14th, 2011

If not, why not?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

16 Answers

blueberry_kid's avatar

I absolutely agree. I honestly belive forgivness is the answer to all things. With it, the world can be a much better place.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

No, I do not think it’s a force so powerful. I think forgiveness can occur when bitterness goes away,bitterness doesn’t go away as a result of forgiveness, imo. As for selfishness…again, forgiveness can reduce selfishness but just to a degree and only if it’s genuinely felt forgiveness.

Blackberry's avatar

Sometimes you have to hurt a mofo, but in general, I guess.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

No… I believe that forgivness is for you, not the other person. When you forgive another person of their sins against you, you release yourself from their hatred. Hate is catchy, it perpetuates, and replicates itself into a milling hoard of monsters all too happy to feed it.

Forgivness never stops that other person from infecting your life in whatever way they do to hurt you, what it does, is it stops that other person from being able to influence or affect you with theirs.

In any intereaction there must be an agreement to allow that other person to hurt you. When you forgive them. You break the contract that allows them to covet your heart and hold it to them negatively.

Many times the other person doesn’t have to do anything more than hurt you once… and if you hate them for it, they have you, right where they want you for as long as you continue to feel that hate and anger.

So I agree on a basic level… But it is important that the forgivness is NOT for the other person because chances are they probably don’t care anyway.

Two of the most important ways to belong to another human being is by loving them, or hurting them… When you give another human soul love as a choice, you heal them, you lift them up and you improve their life allowing them to reach their full potential in acceptance and security.

By hurting them, you can own them as well… Only in a negative sence where by their hurting you and you opting not to let go and forgive them, they command your thoughts and control you in another way.

People who cause bitterness and regret do it because they want that control over something they can’t have. They know it is difficult, they know they hurt but they just want for whatever reason to control you.

When you forgive, you release yourself from that bond. Sometimes people can’t forgive because they love so much, they feel that something, even something negative is better than the release that offers nothing. So it is difficult for the hurt person to relent and release.

And the other party often knows that too. I watched my parents destroy one another like this for 40 years

SpatzieLover's avatar

I’d call it forgetfulness, not forgiveness.

I can forgive. Forget, not so much

blueberry_kid's avatar

Am I the only one that thinks what I said makes me sound like a hippie?

Ponderer983's avatar

Who really forgives anyone, instead letting time pass where you are not as hurt and don’t care anymore?

snowberry's avatar

@SpatzieLover I used to know someone who insisted that if I forgave them then I would trust them. I think trust is a bit like credit. We all have great credit, until we abuse it. Then it takes a long time to rebuild it back up. Broken trust is a lot like that, and no, it’s not my job to forget, but if I have appropriate boundaries, they don’t have a chance to break my trust again, and I also won’t have to even think about how “bad” they are.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@blueberry_kid A happy, well adjusted healthy hippie!

Coloma's avatar

Yes, forgiveness is about setting ourselves free from carrying the burden of anothers mistakes and follies. Doesn’t mean they will remain in our lives, but, it does mean we let go, ideally with compassion. Of course, one can get pretty damn mad before they feel compassion. lol

SpatzieLover's avatar

@snowberry I completely agree. And my broken trust is difficult to re-gain. I’m a bite me once and only once kinda gal.

GabrielsLamb's avatar

@Coloma Hey! I resemble that remark! LOL

Blackberry's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir I love you, too! I’ve been waiting forever to say that. ;D

sinscriven's avatar

I agree with this. Forgiveness is the ability to free yourself from the attachment to suffering. When you’re bitter, and hurt and stewing over the transgression nobody else is suffering but yourself. To allow yourself to just let it go is the best (albeit difficult) thing you can do for yourself. And Forgiveness has always been a clearly self-redeeming action. It doesn’t matter how many times someone may try to atone for their actions until you’re ready to free yourself from the attachment to bitterness.

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