General Question

missbabyboo's avatar

Should i keep this Friendship?

Asked by missbabyboo (195points) May 12th, 2008

ok so heres the and a friend have been on n off bffs since like 3 years we always end it because some stupid things but thing no long afterwards we become friends once im so tired of it right now and it hurts everytime we end our friendship..sheve backstabbed, said trash about me, and it seems she cant be trusted anymore but than again im not sure..she denies all of it saying shes not talking trash about me but everyone can tell she is..and shes asks others advice if she shall stay my friend or not when we arent even fighting so idk….so like what should i do? should i end this friendship once and for all?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

17 Answers

syz's avatar

Personally, life has plenty of drama without people adding to it. I don’t hang out with people who cause me distress/pain/drama.

Find a friend who is a true friend.

iwamoto's avatar

well, if you can’t trust someone, i would end the friendship. at least that’s what i’d do

lovelyy's avatar

i’ve had the same problem before, we would always stop being friends because of a guy. i wouldn’t completly cut off the relationship just don’t be best friends.

babygalll's avatar

If they are causing you drama and pain in your life then they aren’t a true friend. Friends SHOULD NOT be doing that to one another. We have enough stress in our life. The last thing you need is a friend adding to that.

wildflower's avatar

I don’t think you should stress yourself, deciding if you should be best friends or not at all. Just spend as much or little time with this friend as feels right – don’t force it.
To me it sounds like you’re growing apart and don’t trust. That doesn’t mean you can’t be friendly and get along, but without trust it’s hard to be as close as you expect best friends to be.

marinelife's avatar

This is a friend? You have your own answer. You just have not wanted to take the ending action, because of the pain. The trouble is that you are having the pain anyway!!!! Let this go. I went through the mixed messages with a longtime friend for more than two years. When I FINALLY ended it, I felt so much better.

Also, Wildflower makes a good point. You can step back from it without big dramatic dramatic declarations that keep the pain going.

Good luck.

sinscriven's avatar

A friendship without trust is really nothing. You can’t trust her, or confide in her, or sleep well at night without fearing she’s going to stab you in the back; this is not a person worth keeping around, and definitely not a friend.

You are better off ending it; and keeping it ended. Burn that bridge.

TheCouncil's avatar

I have worked off the following theory. If you can believe she is backstabbing/talking behind your back then it doesn’t matter if she is. She is capable and you font need that in your life. You don’t have to end it in some dramatic way, but you can just choose to drift apart. Miss a few calls, don’t make plans and the rest will take care of itself. If she chooses to continue talking about you it will be as someone who no longer has the inside track and thus will be harder to believe. Soon people won’t listen.

Bub's avatar

I’d start looking around for a new bff! She doesn’t sound very friendly at all!

scamp's avatar

You are better off keeping her at arm’s lenght. You don’t have to cut all ties with her, but just remain distant and find some new friends.. some that you can TRUST!

amandaafoote's avatar

Just let what happens happens, don’t put a lot of effort into a friendship if when you are doing that she doesn’t know if she should be your friend.

8lightminutesaway's avatar

first off, doesn’t sound like a “bff” at all. Think about it. She’s really not being a good friend, and certainly not your best. A best friend would stick with you no matter what, and not fight and “end” your friendship for stupid reasons. it seems clear she doesn’t care much about you, forget her.

Bri_L's avatar

Not the actions of a friend.

gooch's avatar

Move on lifes to short to spend arguing.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

simply no, you don’t needed added drama from someone in your life, you have better and greater things in life to stress off then stupid stuff.

lovelylady319's avatar

Sounds to me like you don’t need this so called friend, if they were a true friend, this would not even be a question. End this so called relationship and gain one that is much happier, healthier and fulfilling. Seems to me that this on again off again so called friend is undeserving of you as their friend. You deserve much more than what they are giving you.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther