Social Question

Charles's avatar

Should completely broke and unemployed men be dating?

Asked by Charles (4815points) January 20th, 2012

What do you think? Ladies, would you go out with him?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

43 Answers

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

I wouldn’t go out with anyone, I’m married. But I don’t see why not.

SuperMouse's avatar

I might not be all that interested, but if he wants to put himself out there, why not? I might be interested if the fellow in question was doing all he could to find a job and better his circumstances.

Charles's avatar

Does “I wouldn’t go out with anyone, I’m married.” really mean “I (want to) fool around”?

Nullo's avatar

Not a lady, but hey. Dating gets expensive; spending what little money he has available when he doesn’t have to smacks of foolishness.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I came across an article that said the unemployed make the best lovers. They have all day for sex.

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

@Charles… sorry, how did you get that from what I said?

tedd's avatar

I don’t see why he can’t date. Though I fully admit that lack of money and a job would make dating significantly harder.

Coloma's avatar

At 20 yes, at 52, no. lol
It also depends on the circumstance.
Most of us have been effected by the economic meltdown to varying degrees and I would not ever base my attraction on financial solvency. However, big dif. between being a victim of the economy vs. a long history of unemployment, lack of ambition, laziness and overall unmotivated behaviors.

I would happily enjoy some of the simple pleasures in life with a person who was in a state of financial concern, but, I wouldn’t be a sugar mama to a lazy and unmotivated guy.
My ex husband and I would fight about this in younger years. He refused to show any creativity when we were struggling financially and would just check out and drink beer. Gah!
I, on the other hand, am very creative and was never at a loss for fun and creative ideas to have fun on a tight budget.

I’d say that creative involvement and effort is huge IMO and is the determining factor in whether many relationships can survive lean times.

If you can write a poem, cook a meal, pick some posies, set up a nice little movie night, nature hike, star gazing date and are actively working towards improving your situation
and you are picking girls that are not narcissistic gold diggers, go for it! :-)

bkcunningham's avatar

Completely broke and unemployed? How is he surviving? What does he do for food and shelter?

Aethelflaed's avatar

Of course he should be able to date. He might have to get more creative about how dating is done (as would all women who are broke and unemployed), and there might be less of a traditional structure in which the people go out on specific “dates” instead of just getting together, but having romantic relationships isn’t some privilege for certain classes; love and intimacy happen at every financial level.

ragingloli's avatar

Why not? In the best case scenario, you get sex, several dozens of fresh human meat, plus all the money in her wallet, valuables in her home and her car(s), if she has any.

Seaofclouds's avatar

Why not? As far as if I would date him, it would depend on a lot more than just if he had money and a job. First, it would depend on our compatibility. Once past all the compatibility stuff, tt would depend on what else he was doing with his time and if he had a plan for what he was going to do from that point on.

redfeather's avatar

Guys who are broke/unemployed have asked me out and I’ve said no.

Charles's avatar

how did you get that from what I said?

What a woman really means when she says something:

You want = You want
We need = I want
It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure… go ahead = I don’t want you to.
I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron!
You’re… so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?
I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’m on my period.
Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. .I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper…..
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like.
I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.]
I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry.
Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it.
Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.
I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.
All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?

ANef_is_Enuf's avatar

Oh. Clearly you can interpret the hidden meaning behind everything I say, then.~

jca's avatar

Completely broke and unemployed men should date if they want to. It’s not up to me to say they should not.

Would I date a person who was completely broke and unemployed? Probably not. I have in the past, and it meant any trips or any recreation we did was up to me to pay for both of us all the time. Been there, done that. You want to go out to eat? Pay for 2. You want to go to the movies? Pay for 2. You want to go on vacation? Pay for 2. It’s a drag, honestly. I would not do it again.

jca's avatar

@Charles: Wow. All that from her sentence?

Aethelflaed's avatar

@Charles Are you trying to piss off all the women on Fluther?

redfeather's avatar

Ladies, did you know we were in the presence of a genius? I should have dressed better.

john65pennington's avatar

It takes money to do anything.

Dates and bars and drinks are not cheap.

Wait it out? Never will happen.

Is this a bad time to be in love?

bkcunningham's avatar

“Ladies, did you know we were in he presence of a genius?” Charles interprets to mean. “I want to have your baby.”

Blackberry's avatar

Their chances are lessened of finding someone, but they still can, of course.

redfeather's avatar

@bkcunningham oh gods, you’re probably right. I wanted to ask “Are you single, @Charles?” which you would know to mean “I know why you’re single.”

SuperMouse's avatar

@Charles is that list of what women really mean a Charles original?

JilltheTooth's avatar

Please tell me that anyone who puts out such a fucktard post clearly has some sort of reason for doing so, beyond the obvious of course, having read some of his other stuff, I can’t be sure… Please.

jca's avatar

Maybe pissing women off is how he gets chicks.

bkcunningham's avatar

@jca, you know a pissed off woman means she likes rough sex.

Aethelflaed's avatar

I normally don’t hope this much that someone is trolling…

marinelife's avatar

Does it mean that just because you are unemployed and broke you are not entitled to companionship? Why the heck not? Dating does not have to mean a lot of money spent.

Whether I would go out with someone like this depends on the person and their history.

Are you a troll?

JilltheTooth's avatar

@Charles : Here’s another one you might want to hold in reserve for your next wisdom post. We really appreciated the wit behind that one, too.

mazingerz88's avatar

Of course. Better if they date potential sugar mamahs! Lol.

jca's avatar

@marinelife: Unemployed people and broke people are entitled to companionship. I put in my answer that it’s not up to me to say they should not date. They could date if they want to. They should date if they want to. It’s not up to another person to say someone should not date.

I stated that I personally would not date someone in that situation because I have done that in the past, and it was a drag. Plain and simple, it put a damper on things that we did because I had to pay for two every time. Dating does not have to be expensive, but doing things can get expensive, i.e. movies, dinner, trips, vacation, etc. Coffee in a coffee shop can be expensive for one, let alone two!

Of course, as you stated, a person and their history are factors in a relationship as well. All does not depend on the financial aspect, a lot of things are taken into consideration when choosing a mate or a date.

muppetish's avatar

Obvious sexism aside, I will note that when I began dating my significant other, he was completely broke and living with his parents (as am I, though with a little more money to my name and a part-time job with flimsy hours.) This is, perhaps, a different scenario to some because we are both college students and the necessity of having a steady income hasn’t quite hit us over the head. We have gone on very few, if any, formal dates. We usually split bills, though I cover everything on occasion. This works for us. We don’t need to go out and spend money to have a lovely time together. In fact, we spend the majority of our time together passing the hours pleasantly and have grown incredibly close, comfortable, and reliant on one another as a result.

As someone who does not really understand gender (least of all for myself, as I do not identify with one), I don’t see why it should be any different for other couples, regardless of whether they identify with a particular gender or not, until their relationship becomes serious enough that things like cars, houses, and family become part of the equation.

judochop's avatar

Seeing as its not the fifties and the countries in a huge depression, why not? Let the lady pay or go do something free.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@judochop I like your idea. I want a sugarmama.

Aethelflaed's avatar

@jca I understand what you’re saying. I think it has to do more with both people being at roughly the same financial level as the other than being totally broke vs not having money. I’m not totally broke, I can pay my rent and bills and other life expenses and even go out on occasion. But I can’t go to expensive restaurants several times a week, or take nice trips oversees, and that would be a problem if I was with someone who could afford to do those things.

SpatzieLover's avatar

First of all I don’t believe people without funds are broke. Second of all 10% of the US population is unemployed (it’s actually higher if you do the math…but we’ll settle on 10% for this discussion).

If I were dating, I would not limit myself in my pursuit of love or my pursuit of social interaction.

@Charles from reading through your various questions and responses, it appears to me that you are in the habit of limiting your thinking. Life is shades of grey. There is little black white, right/wrong.

Neizvestnaya's avatar

Sure, there could be a lot of circumstances behind being broke and unemployed that don’t mean the man has a history of it.

Would I have dated a man in those circumstances? I did once and it turned out fine but he was under 25yrs old and just starting out. Would I date a man in his 30’s or older under the same circumstance? Maybe. I say maybe because I’ve been most attracted to and compatible with men who have a similar work drive as I do = rarely unemployed or without prospects.

everephebe's avatar

I’m broke and unemployed, but then again I’m a student.
.And I have a sexy voice.

Paradox25's avatar

Some people hit hard times such as losing a job through no fault of their own, family crisis, etc. As a guy I could ask myself if I’d date a broke and unemployed woman as well. This wouldn’t be an elimination factor for me depending upon the circumstances.

mattbrowne's avatar

Yes, because it will make it easier for them to find a job. Social isolation destroys well-being.

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