Social Question

likipie's avatar

Do you have a dark secret (details)

Asked by likipie (1450points) February 10th, 2012

I’ve been debating whether or not to tell my guy friend about a secret that I have. Only my family and 1 of my friends knows about it and it’s been awhile since it’s been brought up but I really want to tell him. I don’t know why, I just feel like I should. I’m afraid he’ll think I’m trying to get attention or that he’ll try to do something about it I just want to talk to someone other than my family about it. Should I tell him or not?

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36 Answers

mazingerz88's avatar

Yes. And yes to the last question. Lol.

If revealing the secret might end up rectifying a wrong, like a truth exonerating someone who was unjustly punished for something he or she did not do, imo, that would be worth divulging.

KatawaGrey's avatar

I seem to be the repository of dark secrets with a number of my friends. I can tell you that the ones who have told me their dark secrets seem to be freer and easier with me, as if they no longer have to hide anything from me because they have showed this part of themselves and I do not judge them harshly for it. If your friend listens to your secret and does not care, it may strengthen your friendship. If he listens and is horrified, then he does not deserve to be your friend.

Hawaii_Jake's avatar

Since I don’t know what your secret is, it’s very difficult to judge. There are somethings best left in the family, and then there are some others that really should see the light of day.

Will sharing your secret cause harm to anyone? Is it necessary to tell? Is it helpful?

Is the information kind?

There is a lot to consider. I would think long and hard about it.

Blackberry's avatar

Actually, no. That’s a good feeling. You should try it.

mazingerz88's avatar

Yes, I’M BATMAN. ^ .. ^

Aethelflaed's avatar

What kind of secret? Something really bad happened to you? You did something really bad to someone? You did something really bad that wasn’t so much to someone as really against the law? You hold a wildly unpopular political view that almost no one anywhere on the political spectrum is ok with? You have sexual feelings for children? You’re actually a secret agent for a foreign government? You’re actually an android sent from the future to destroy Earth, but your relationship with him has made you reconsider your mission? You’re actually the real author of the Shakespearean plays?? Yes, they will only get more fantastical from here.

Why aren’t you telling him, and others, already? To protect yourself physically? Emotionally? Protect them? Fear of punishment? Fear of ostracization?

auhsojsa's avatar

What’s a dark secret again? :)

likipie's avatar

@Aethelflaed It’s nothing anybody did to me, I didn’t do anything to anyone else and no, I don’t have sexual feelings for children. Unfortunately I’m not the real author of the Shakespearean plays and I’m not a an android. I’ve not told people because I don’t really want them to know, it’s just different with this guy. For some reason I really want to tell him, I guess I’m just scared…

AshlynM's avatar

Without knowing what your secret is, it’s really difficult to give a helpful answer.

Maybe you should ask someone you’ve already told what you should do. They know your secret and how awful or good it is, so they would be in a better position to give you advice.

I hope you figure this out. Good luck.

Nullo's avatar

I wouldn’t worry; most people who still do homework haven’t gotten enough miles for their dark secrets to be too bad. :)
Don’t make a production out of it, though. I would suggest segueing in from a related topic – it’s easier to move out of potential awkward silences and back into the conversation that way. Be casual, if you can.

CaptainHarley's avatar

If telling him the secret serves no useful purpose, then don’t. Sometimes things are better left unsaid.

Yes, I have “a deep, dark secret,” several of them, in fact. Will I post them on a public Website? Of course not. : )

flutherother's avatar

I would tell him only if you don’t mind your dark secret becoming public. That is the risk you run.

elbanditoroso's avatar

Once a secret is told, it is no longer a secret and it can be broadcast.

Ayesha's avatar

And I’m Robin!

HungryGuy's avatar

No. My secret is a light blue. Not dark at all.

Ponderer983's avatar

I was the second gunman on the grassy knoll O.o

jca's avatar

Do you want to tell the guy because you like him? I’m trying to understand why you want to tell this particular guy over anybody in the whole world (including us here on Fluther).

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

<sigh> Yes, I do have a dark secret and I think it may be time for me to come clean with everyone here about it. I’m not eating very much chocolate anymore because I’m trying to lose weight. There, I said it. I feel much better now.

MilkyWay's avatar

* (stuffs loads of chocolate into @WillWorkForChocolate ‘s mouth.) *
You can’t give up on chocolate. Not whilst I’m here. No no no no no. It’s just not right.

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

I can not believe you would sabotage me that way! Don’t you love me? <cries while enjoying the chocolate>

MilkyWay's avatar

Trust me, you’ll thank me later. Chocolate is good for you, remember?
WillworkforChocolate: “Repeat after me- Chocolate is good. Chocolate is our friend. Chocolate cures everything.

SpatzieLover's avatar

If you’re waivering as to whether to tell him or not @likipie, then it’s probably not the time to tell. Listen to & trust your instincts.

likipie's avatar

@jca I do like him but that’s not why I want to tell him. He’s just really good at listening and I know I can tell him ANYTHING and he would never judge me and I guess I’m just sick and tired of not talking about it. I guess because I figure I’d better tell someone before I explode I’d rather it be him than someone else. I hope that makes sense.

Jeruba's avatar

@likipie, I think it is fine to tell someone you trust, and if keeping it in is troubling you, you’re entitled to the relief.

But if you are or think you might become romantically involved with this guy friend, I would urge you to be cautious. Chances are the relationship won’t last forever. Supposing you do get together with him and then later break up, will you regret telling him?

If you don’t tell now, you can always tell later. If you do tell him, you can’t untell him.

I like @AshlynM‘s suggestion to ask the opinion of the person you’ve already told.

Sunny2's avatar

My dark secret is that I used to be a brunet and I used to have brown eyes. Does that count as dark?

filmfann's avatar

Let’s see… Should I share my dark secret with 3000 of my closest online friends?


jca's avatar

@likipie: Whatever this secret is, you don’t have one friend in the whole world that you can tell, instead of this guy? I think, personally, you want to tell him because you like him.

CaptainHarley's avatar

BTW… @MilkyWay and @WillWorkForChocolate

Chocolate that has at least 70% cocoa is very, very good for you. Among other things it promotes arterial flexibility which helps prevent heart problems, arterial problems, strokes, etc. And you only need about 2 oz. per day to get the benefits. : ))

likipie's avatar

@jca I think you don’t know me so you shouldn’t make assumptions. Yes I like him. No that’s not why I’m telling him and I don’t feel comfortable telling any of my other friends.

MilkyWay's avatar

@CaptainHarley Hah! I knew it wasn’t bad for you :D

Coloma's avatar

Nope. No dark secrets here. I’m pretty damn transparent.
I don’t think it’s necessary to divulge everything to another, intimacy comes in gradual increments. What is your motive in telling? That’s the real question.

CaptainHarley's avatar


Goodbye chocolate-consumption guilt! WOOT! : )

WillWorkForChocolate's avatar

@CaptainHarley Ha, this is why I only eat super dark chocolate now when I feel the need to indulge.

CaptainHarley's avatar


LOL! Well GOOD for YOU! : D

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