General Question

pumahawk's avatar

What do you do when you like someone who's taken?

Asked by pumahawk (42points) May 23rd, 2008

i currently have fallen for someone. only after i realized that this person emphasizes almost all of the finer points of what i look for in a girl, did i find that she’s actually taken. and quite happily so.

what do i do? i mean, i could always just stick around and see if anything comes of it. but i don’t want to lose any sleep over it?


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17 Answers

TheHaight's avatar

if she’s happy with her boyfriend and hasent shown any interest in you I’d move on. I definately wouldn’t lose sleep over it. Cliched- but there is plenty more fish in the sea.

wildflower's avatar

I think you’re on the right track. Don’t lose sleep over it. It’s probably just a crush and will pass. If you like her as a person, there’s no reason she can’t be a friend, but maybe you need a bit of distance to get this crush out of your system.

Personally I don’t like the idea of starting a relationship by one or both parties leaving previous relationships to do so. It just doesn’t seem a good foundation for anything lasting.

pumahawk's avatar

i totally agree. i guess the problem is that i told her i like her, and she responded in a way that made me think i shouldn’t lose hope?

but at the same time isn’t showing any signs of letting her boyfriend off.

delirium's avatar

Masturbate instead and leave the relationship alone. :]

wildflower's avatar

She might like the fact that you fancy her. But you have to think about yourself. In the short term, take delirium’s advice and once you’re over the romantic feeling, continue the friendship with her if it feels right – if not, then just move on.

Breefield's avatar

You already know what I think, stalker! :p

cheebdragon's avatar

nothing, I have morals about that kinda stuff.

DeezerQueue's avatar

It sounds like you already know what to do. You shouldn’t wait around for people, it’s not emotionally healthy. Keep on living your life because she’s not available to you. Accepting that is the most difficult part because sexual or physical attraction can sometimes be very strong and if it runs it course, unchecked, it can lead us to believe that someone may have stronger feelings for us than they actually do. We begin to entertain fantasies that we might otherwise stop dead in their tracks. For some it can go so far that they begin stalking people, I’m sure you’ve read about some of those horror stories.

She’s already part of your life so if something were to happen to cause the breakup of her current relationship you would know about it.

Don’t do anything that might cause you to lose your dignity, it’s too precious.

cheebdragon's avatar

If you try to break them up and she doesn’t like you in that way, she might end up hating you.

playthebanjo's avatar

is she married? Kids? Maybe you are the one for her, stalker.

Adina1968's avatar

I remember the first time I saw the man who is now my husband. He walked into a party when we were teenagers and I was like WOW! Who is that? I got talking to him and we really hit it off but I found out that he was already in a relationship, so I backed off. We became friends. He stayed with his girlfriend for 10 years while we still remained platonic friends. One day they broke up for good. He ended up moving into my apartment complex. We started hanging out more because he lived right down the street. Today we are happily married! :-)

punkrockworld's avatar

I have been through it,too. And I must say that it might not be worth it.If she felt the same she would have left her boyfriend already or maybe she’s confused.
Don’t preserve yourself because of this girl and just date until you find another girl you like.

marinelife's avatar

Her responding to you while happily involved with someone else should give you pause. First, do you really want a girl that would do that when she is with another guy? Second, some women just like to have a few guys hanging around as admirers that they have no intention of being with. Do you really want to be a hanger on just to feed her ego? I think you deserve better than a few crumbs from her table.

buster's avatar

you could always hire a hit man and have the guy rubbed out.

ninjaxmarc's avatar

walk away and be a man and not a snake.

If she is not happy with her current man, go rescue her.

pumahawk's avatar

thanks for all the responses everyone, you’ve set me on the right track i do believe.

and, fyi, we’re only teenagers. so i’m not planning on ruining any marriages playthebanjo. :p i have a life of my own, trust me i’m no stalker. we’re good friends.

Varna's avatar

Let the happy couple be!

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