Social Question

serenade's avatar

How did you shift to attracting a different type of lover?

Asked by serenade (3784points) September 24th, 2012

The last three women I’ve been with in a significant capacity have all been (unintentionally) Tauruses (Taurii?). I’ve discovered over time that Taurus energy is a bad bedroom match for this Gemini. I don’t want to date another Taurus.

Did you shift away from a particular type, and how did you do it?

If you’re only response is that astrology is b.s., then please move along.

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43 Answers

marinelife's avatar

You have to look at what attracted you to the three women. make a list of their traits that attracted you originally, and then their traits where love went wrong.

On a separate piece of paper, list the traits that you would prefer to be attracted to. When you meet someone new, check them against the two lists. If they fit the second list of traits you would like in a pertner, give them a chance even if you do not feel immediate attraction. If they line up with the undesirable list of traits you have been attracted to in the past, keep them at arms’ length.

Lead with your head, not your heart.

CWOTUS's avatar

Visualization could work.

Have the woman you’re interested in close her eyes and visualize a unicorn. Then have her imagine a leprechaun riding on the unicorn. Imagine the leprechaun with a sister. What is the sister’s birthday?

Okay, I’m sorry. That won’t work. Visualization in this respect is BS. So is the whole idea.

I’m sorry also to have to inform you that you don’t get to kick out the people from your thread who are here to tell you that astrology is BS.

Moving along now.

Response moderated (Personal Attack)
gailcalled's avatar

Moving right along, perhaps the women would appreciate a warning lable on you also, dear @serenade?

wundayatta's avatar

How hard could it be to find out their sign or birthday at the beginning? If the news is bad, stay away from the Tauruses.

This won’t solve your problem, however, as there is no correlation between birth date and your ability to get along with them.

But really, it is an easy problem to solve. I don’t know why you didn’t think of it.

Ela's avatar

Gemini and Taurus are beside each other so yea, side-by-side are usually not compatible.
If astrology is important to you, then find out the top two signs you are most compatible with and educate yourself on them. Learn how to recognize them in a crowd. As @wundayatta said, ask early in the relationship when their birthday is and know from that which sign they are.
Astrology’s not really something you can ride the fence about, imo. You either believe in it or you don’t. If you do, then educate yourself on the different signs and stick to it.

JLeslie's avatar

Write a list of the top 5 must haves you want in an SO, and five more you prefer. Do not bend on the top 5, and try to get at least 4 out of 5 of the next 5.

Hint: within the top 5 should be respect and honestly.

Seriously, having a list helps you weed out the misfits fast.

As far as the astrology, I don’t really believe in it, but if certain signs have certain personality characteristics, organizing your thoughts about the type of person you want will probably get rid of the Tauruses.

I’m a Capricorn and my husband is an Aries. I don’t know if we are supposed to get along, but so far so good. He is a lot like my mom who is a Taurus. My husband sends me my horoscope sometimes, and my aunt is into. She is a Capricorn to and checks to see if I am having a bad day or week when her week is sucking also.

hearkat's avatar

I shifted to attracting a different kind of lover by changing the way I thought of myself. I grew and evolved to a point where I finally love and respect myself and will not tolerate disrespect from a romantic interest. I finally developed enough self-esteem where I recognized that I was capable of giving unconditional love, as well as worthy of receiving it. I found it when I stopped looking for it, and let it come to me.

blueiiznh's avatar

Did you ever wonder if the problem was the Gemini’s?

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@blueiiznh Hey, I’m a Gemini. I can get along with anyone, as long as they make an effort. Look at the third answer.

blueiiznh's avatar

@Adirondackwannabe the reference was not to you or other Gemini’s. Sorry if you took it that way

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

@blueiiznh No. I’m just having fun.

Ela's avatar

nah… it’s the gemies fer sher <pokes @Adirondackwannabe>

blueiiznh's avatar

To answer the OP, I moved to a deserted island.

CWOTUS's avatar

What I really want to know is how your last three women wound up being unintentionally Tauruses.

JLeslie's avatar

I just read this about Geminis. They sound like complicated people. LOL.

blueiiznh's avatar

@JLeslie and that is just one of their twin personalities

Ela's avatar

@JLeslie Twins… You get a 2-fer if you’re compatible.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Hey, there is a lot to us Gemini’s, but we also have a lot to give.

JLeslie's avatar

This shows gemini and Taurus as “beige.” No wonder that is not working for you.

Although, it shows my relationship as “clash” (green) and I would not say that is accurate.

Ela's avatar

@JLeslie Capricorn and Aries are usually not very compatible. Aries is most compatible with Sagittarius while Capricorn is most compatible with Taurus

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

What I love is that you think this is about them being tauruses and not you being bad in bed. How can we know which it is, assuming we believe people fall into horoscope groups?

blueiiznh's avatar

@Simone_De_Beauvoir The video’s have confirmed your statement

JLeslie's avatar

@Ela Yeah, I like earth sign people. My husband was the first Aries I knew. Well, I mean that I was friends with or dated. None of the people close to me were Aries before him. He has several in his family. We don’t clash, but we do handle life differently. I feel like we have learned from each other; kind of moved towards each other, and less extreme than our families. My family is almost all earth and water signs.

Ela's avatar

@JLeslie Then you have the whole birth order thing to take into consideration….

dessert island is starting to look pretty good (extra “s” intentional)

hearkat's avatar

My birthday is on the cusp of Taurus and Gemini—I’m a triple threat!

JLeslie's avatar

@Ela Oh yeah. Before my husband I had one other serious boyfriend and he was the baby. 4 kids in 5 years, and then he was born 7 years later. So he was youngest and sort of only. My husband, his sister and brother born one year apart, and then 6 years later my husband. So he is baby and only also. I am the oldest of two children.

They both had/have a sweetness about them with how they cared about their mom.

Ela's avatar

@JLeslie First borns and babies are good for each other but with that big of age gap he prolly leans toward only (unless he’s the first born male… then he’s eldest and only… lol gah!)

@hearkat I read that as triple treat!

zenvelo's avatar

These kinds of coincidences always amaze me. I am a Gemini and I was married to a Taurus. After m marriage fell apart, I was seeing a woman whose exes birthday was the same as mine. And then I was in a long term relationship with another Taurus.

Back in my twenties I went out with four women in a row who did not know each other. Either on or soon after the first date i would find out they all went to University of Colorado Boulder.

I don’t believe in astrology, or anything like it, but I do get freaked out at too many similarities.

JLeslie's avatar

@Ela Neither are first born males. Can you imagine being the only male and being a baby with 4 older sisters? Ay yai yai. The boyfriend had 3 brothers and 1 sister. My husband has a brother and a sister. I think my husband is more like only than baby, but his siblings view him like baby I think. They kind of say he was always the perfect one in the eyes of their parents. My husband is by far the most easy going of all the siblings, and also never looks to blame his parents for anything negative in his childhood. I tend to be like that too. Our siblings not so much.

Ela's avatar

@JLeslie First born can come in the middle of a family if they are the first of that sex. So an only male with older sisters is also a considered first born.

blueiiznh's avatar

You could also just try changing your cologne. I bet you are wearing something like this…...

“The Taurus man looking for a Gemini woman loves change, is eloquent and able to perform several activities at the same time. His loved one should be able to keep up with his mental mobility. For that achievement she is rewarded with an adventurous and pampering partner. Mercury-Energy supports the ease of being and the unit of body and spirit.”
“Fresh Mint increases self-confidence and cleanses the spirit. Zistrose enhances the feelings for the joy of life and optimism and supports positive thoughts. Grapefruit in connection with Mugwort provides motivation for a new beginning and for self-transformation.”

Might I suggest something more Lemon with Mandarin notes that are inspiring and activating.

JLeslie's avatar

@Ela I understand. Neither my husband nor the ex were the first males. But, they are like firsts since they are so much younger. My husband more than my ex though. He can kind of entertain himself, more of an ony trait I guess, and he is sort of possessive about his things, another likely only trait. He is independent, ambitious, confident, responsible, which is seen in firsts, where I think usually the baby is more dependent and happy go lucky.

Dsg's avatar

@serenade…check out this page on your compatibility. Its pretty interesting what the article says about you and Taurus. compatibility

serenade's avatar

@all, I’ve just kind of gone with my gut or butterflies or the flow with these relationships. We’ve had good connections, but the push/pull is between their need to circle the wagons around the homestead and my need to travel far and wide among people and experiences. It’s not about good or bad sex (although it’s been a mix—some good, some lacking).

And if you must know, @SimoneDB, one came like crazy, one had to learn everything from me, and the last is the kind of girl who mostly needs to get herself off, but thanks for all the assumptions. (What I love is that this is coming from someone who once invited me to fuck.)

@wundayatta, it wouldn’t be hard. I connected really well with an Aries, and I thought that was going to be something, but she scattered like the wind.

Anyway, thanks to those of you who actually answered the question. I guess there’s still room for idiot-proofing.

Blackberry's avatar

Go to classy bars full of older ladies.

Shippy's avatar

I really do not put too much store in birth signs. But I do love the heading on this question, because I am attracted to people that I wasn’t before. I always seemed to end up with large muscular, big mouthed men! Now I am drawn to sensitive poets! Or what people would call nerdy types. It is quite bizarre! because people will say to me “He’s such a nerd!” and I will say I know isn’t he hot!

snapdragon24's avatar

Ha @serenade I am a Taurus woman and Ive had a sexually compatible relationship with a Gemini man for a couple of months. We connected at a very deep level, the only thing that really ruined it all was his inconsistency. He did what he want whenever he wanted and as he pleased and expected me to still feel the love when he’d decide to come around! I also think that when involved with a taurus woman, you have to find a comprise and everything will be fine its all in the communucation!

But like you, I have the knack of attracting saggitarius men… they have been running around my periphery but Ive decided to stay away from them. They have this dettachment and shallowness about them sometimes that can be hurtful.

So, I run to my Leos for comfort :p… their the best!

serenade's avatar

@snapdragon24, yeah, I know compromise. ;-) They were all very giving women, just not in the ways that I ultimately needed.

snapdragon24's avatar

Haha and what was it that you needed @serenade?

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