General Question

phoenyx's avatar

Would you like to play "twisted wishes"?

Asked by phoenyx (7377points) June 5th, 2008

It’s an old forum game that I thing you clever folks would enjoy. How it works: you grant the wish of the previous poster, but grant it in an unfortunate way or a way that they wouldn’t expect, then you make a wish of your own.

Examples:
I wish I didn’t have so much homework.

—————————————————————————

Granted! You get kicked out of school.
I wish I were taller.

—————————————————————————

Granted! Your neck grows to be 10 feet long.
I wish I had more hair.

—————————————————————————

Granted, but it all starts growing on your back.
I wish for a million wishes!

—————————————————————————

Granted, but they are all twisted wishes.
etc.

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

165 Answers

phoenyx's avatar

I wish I had more time for fluther.

jlm11f's avatar

Granted! You are fired from your job.
I wish I could go to sleep on time.

jlm11f's avatar

that’s sleep AND wake up for anybody who thinks of just killing me off

Allie's avatar

Granted! You have nightmares every night.

I wish I was at Disneyland.

PupnTaco's avatar

Granted: you are working 12-hour shifts in 110-degree heat as Bashful, in a giant fiberglass head. And kids are pushing you.

I wish all my bills were paid in full.

ezraglenn's avatar

Granted: You get evicted and become homeless, and have no more bills to pay.

I wish my spacebar worked all the time, instead ofjustsomeofthetime.

Randy's avatar

Granted: you get a space bartender but you can’t take off your astronaut suit to drink what he mixes for you!

I wish I made more money at the job I’m currently working at.

jlm11f's avatar

that twisted wish doesn’t make sense to me, she was talking about the space bar on her keyboard

NeroCorvo's avatar

Randy-

Wish granted but you are soon arrested for embezzlement.

I wish gas prices would drop.

Randy's avatar

@PnL- I know but there was no computer reference so I twisted up the twisted wish. See, spacebar = space bar. Like a drinking bar only in outer space.

Seesul's avatar

Wish granted Randy, but they’ve dropped to zero because there is no gas.

I wish I could travel free, first class, anywhere I wanted to go.

ezraglenn's avatar

@PnL, that’s HE to you!

Bri_L's avatar

Wish granted seesul but your first class seat will always be next to a loud obnoxious man who’s drunken beller is only drowned out by the plaid coat he wears until he takes that off to form a pillow which he props against you so he can sleep snoring his brandy breadth in your face with his shoes off because his dogs are just barking and would you mind losening his truss and helping him with his donut seat cussion his roids are screaming.

I wish for never ending supply of cheese.

jlm11f's avatar

oops sorry ezra!

ezraglenn's avatar

Wish Granted, but you die of clogged arteries after only one day of cheese gorging.

I wish for MIA to be awesome at her concert tomorrow.

Allie's avatar

Granted! But you will be stuck in traffic on your way to the show and miss it all.

I wish I could find someone to design my perfect tattoo.

Ezra: I’m jealous! Haha..

NeroCorvo's avatar

wish granted but while making the tat the artist has an Epileptic seizure and it ends up looking like an EKG.

I wish I could go to the moon

Randy's avatar

Granted: But because there is no longer any gas, you can’t make it back home.

I wish everyone spoke the same language.

nocountry2's avatar

Granted! But there are no longer any funny jokes based on foreign accents.

I wish my husband would pick up the dog poop.

jlm11f's avatar

Granted! But he stops doing all other house/family chores.

Hmm….I wish my wishes wouldn’t get twisted.

Randy's avatar

Granted, but the game is over.

I wish that I had an ice cream cone.

thebeadholder's avatar

Granted! But you got the best ice cream ever and it fell off the cone, into your lap.

I wish PnL would have recognized I was granting nocountry’s wish!

jlm11f's avatar

sorry! but i had finished working on it by the time you started

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, but then you forget what you were going to say.

I wish I could sleep.

Allie's avatar

Granted! But you are no longer alive and you sleep 6 ft underground.

I wish I hadn’t gotten so drunk last night.

Randy's avatar

Granted, but instead of getting drunk, you spent the night as a captive in a pow camp.

I wish my best friend wasn’t leaving for Texas in a week.

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, you are leaving for Texas in a week.

I wish it weren’t going to rain tomorrow.

hannahsugs's avatar

Granted! Instead it snows.

I wish I was better at doing my work.

thebeadholder's avatar

PnL…doesn’t it say when someone starts crafting an answer and in this game, it was my turn! Oh, never mind…who cares!

I wish to turn off my iPod now and go to sleep.

jlm11f's avatar

mm you could be right about having started before me, maybe i just didn’t see it? but i don’t know how i didn’t see it! i see you crafting a response right now! bah. maybe i need glasses

thebeadholder's avatar

Sorry, I am getting grouchy :(

jlm11f's avatar

no problemo. to continue the game: Granted! But now you have no work, and have a classic case of infinite boredom.

I wish the war in Iraq was over.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted: Now the war is in your backyard.
I wish I was a god…

exek1's avatar

granted: but now you gotta be ready to put up a fight against bush cause he is the devil.

I wish I could stop getting mad at my girlfriend so easily.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted: Now you’ll get mad at your boyfriend

exek1's avatar

haha LOL.
I’m staight I’m not gay…... I love my girl.

Notreallyhere's avatar

and after getting my last wish granted I’m to busy to keep playing

Allie's avatar

I wish there was a wish to grant…

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, but I’m the one making the wish!

I wish I had more fluther points.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted: Now I’m flagging you for greedy…

phoenyx's avatar

I wish Notreallyhere would follow the rules of the game and make a wish after granting a wish.

nocountry2's avatar

Granted: notreallyhere is as such

I wish I wouldn’t get migranes

Notreallyhere's avatar

@exek1: Take it easy is just a game…you secret is safe with us….kidding

susanc's avatar

Granted! Now you have to go to work every single day.
I wish I could sell my house for what I bought it for.

Notreallyhere's avatar

@phoenyx: I’m sorry i was to busy answering to my new NOT GAY friend exek1

exek1's avatar

@susanc…granted: now I own the house.

I wish notreallyhere didnt exist!

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted: Read my user name!!!

jlm11f's avatar

Granted. but now you have to live with yourself for killing off a flutherer who could have potentially helped someone someday.

I wish I was in Paris right now.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted:But you’re stock with NOT GAY exek

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, but it’s Paris, Idaho.

I wish my wife weren’t gone, visiting her sister.

jlm11f's avatar

Granted. but now your wife’s whole family is visiting you :)

I wish there was world peace.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted, but then the world ends
I wish I had patience

NeroCorvo's avatar

granted- you have patience because you are in a coma.

I wish there was a great vacation house I could rent.

susanc's avatar

Granted. It’s in the hot part of the Gobi. And it’s made of canvas.

I wish I weren’t a little too drunk to drive home.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted: But now your car breaks down
I wish I can have X-ray vision

NeroCorvo's avatar

wish granted- but you go crazy living in a transparent word of mobile skelitons.

I wish every morning there would be $1000.00 under my pillow

jlm11f's avatar

Granted! You lose your pillow.

I wish that the new recipe I am trying out tomorrow turns out to be good.

Notreallyhere's avatar

granted, then I eat it
I wish I could sleep whenever I wanted

NeroCorvo's avatar

Granted- you are now a dog.

I wish I was on a tropical island alone.

exek1's avatar

granted but watch out for the insectivorous plants.

I wish I had a nissan silvia.

jlm11f's avatar

Granted! but you have no money for gas (ps – i have a nissan sentra)

I wish Obama becomes president.

exek1's avatar

granted;(hopefully)obama will be the best.

I wish I had an sr20 engine in my nissan silvia.

(nissan sentra…. Stock?)

susanc's avatar

Granted. Obama will be very good. But it will be difficult.
I wish the strong crafty Hillary would get behind him.

jlm11f's avatar

i don’t know what you mean by “stock”, but if its the same as year, then its 2007
ps i am glad we have other obama supporters here!

Allie's avatar

Granted! But that’s because she got to the cafeteria after he did.

I wish Lupe Fiasco would come to Davis. (Or close to Davis.)

exek1's avatar

…..@pnl: ok then it is stock, you don’t have anything custom on it? Like exaust, headers, faster engine, etc?

@allie. Lupe fiasco will be there.

I wish I could get in for free at the d1gp events.

Allie's avatar

exek1: I think you just made my day!! <3333

Dog's avatar

Wish granted you always get in free- but it is because you are now a cockroach.

I wish I had a canoe

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted:Is full of holes
Wish was a bartender

jlm11f's avatar

@ exek – ooooh i see what you mean. yes it is stock, just paying the monthly fee for the car makes me broke. i definitely can’t afford special configurations. but i <3 it anyway!

Dog's avatar

wish granted- you are a bartender in a dry county in an Amish town.

I wish I could go fishing tomorrow

exek1's avatar

@pnl..that sucks making payments. But all that matters is that you are comfortable with your ride.

@dog…. Granted: be carefull cause a gator might fish you.

I wish you all a good day or night cause ima bout to knock out.
its 12:00am

Dog's avatar

wish granted but you stay awake in bed all night wondering what we are typing.

I wish time would slow down so we could enjoy it more.

exek1's avatar

yeah I am wondering.

Granted:now ima be on here for another hour.

I wish I had some pizza right now.

Allie's avatar

Granted! But you have to share with the rest of us and end up with only 1 pepperoni and 1 black olive.

I wish exek1 had some pizza.

exek1's avatar

granted:here everyone grab an imaginary slice.

I wish my battery would last longer cause I only have ten percent left.
so I’m not gonna be here for sn hour.
More like 5min.

Allie's avatar

Granted! It will last longer…. once you charge it.

I wish I had some beer to enjoy with my pizza.

exek1's avatar

granted:let me go get my charger. But I really need some
e sleep.

I wish I knew for how long are you gonna be here allie?

Allie's avatar

Granted! Until I pass out from exhaustion.

I wish we had more wishes from people to grant.

ebenezer's avatar

granted! You are two inches tall and live in an old lantern with a roach.

I wish I was the hulk.

exek1's avatar

granted:but watch out for spiderman and all the other super heros.

I wish I wish upon a star…......LOL.
I wish to know if there is life in mars.

ebenezer's avatar

granted! There isn’t.

phoenyx's avatar

I wish it to continue. :)

Allie's avatar

Granted! But you weren’t specific and now your hair is longer than ever.

I wish I had the energy to unpack today.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted: but then you don’t energy to keep playing
I wish I would not have to work

exek1's avatar

granted: but now you are stuck home doing the dishes.

I wish for a better wish.

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, but it’s still twisted.

I wish I didn’t have to work through lunch.

exek1's avatar

granted: you won’t work during lunch but you’ll have to put in some overtime hours.

I wish my girlfriend comes to my house today.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted: But she comes with another dude(don’t take personal)
I wish I was immortal

Allie's avatar

Granted! You are no longer human, you’re a rock.

I wish my car was done getting an oil change already.

Wine3213's avatar

Granted, but now you need a whole new transmission and suspension.
I wish I could fly.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted: But crash with a airplane
I wish I owned an Island

exek1's avatar

granted: but its actually a volcano.

I wish I had an ibanez guitar.

Notreallyhere's avatar

Granted:But you forgot how to play it
I wish I can walk on water

exek1's avatar

granted: but watch out for sharks!

I wish I had a formula1 car.

Allie's avatar

Granted! But it’s the Matchbox toy version.

I wish I could be in Mexico right now.

exek1's avatar

granted: but watch out for the atomic burritos.

I wish the casualties play at the vault.

nocountry2's avatar

Granted! But when you go to buy a ticket they are all sold out.

I wish I was in a better mood today.

Allie's avatar

Granted! But now your significant other isn’t..

I wish all my friends were home for the summer.

Dog's avatar

Granted but you are not home with them- you got arrested on a bum rap.

I wish it would rain

Seesul's avatar

Granted (can’t resist this one!) but it rained cats AND dogs.

I wish my kitty would get better.

jlm11f's avatar

Granted! But then you get sick.

I wish it was already 2009.

Randy's avatar

Granted, but you go onto a coma the second it becomes 2009 and don’t wake up untill the second it becomes 12:01 AM 2010!

I wish I wasn’t so tired.

jlm11f's avatar

Granted! But you are SO energetic now that your mom/SO insists you do chores.

(and 2010 works for me too!)

I wish I wasn’t going to have serious college/medical school debt.

Randy's avatar

Granted, but now you only have a high school education.

I wish I was on vacation.

Dog's avatar

Wish granted but while you are gone your home and town are destroyed by a meteorite.

I wish there were no mosquitoes.

jlm11f's avatar

@ dog – that works out for him! because if he was home, he would have also been destroyed by the meteorite

Dog's avatar

@PnL- did not think of that. Okay while you are gone you are robbed.

Randy's avatar

Yay for not being destroyed! Boo for being robbed!

Wish granted! But now the whole food chain is tilted and creatures we depend on for survival are becoming extinct! People are starving and there is little luxuries.

I wish I the smartest man alive.

Seesul's avatar

Granted! but everyone on earth frustrates you, because compared to you, they can’t do anything to your satisfaction, so you have to solve all the problems by yourself.

I wish I had some energy.

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, you become radioactive.

I wish I didn’t have hay fever so bad.

Randy's avatar

Granted, but you have small pox instead.

I wish my car was paid off.

Seesul's avatar

Granted, but it just got totaled and you forgot to pay your insurance this month.

I wish I was in Hawaii.

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, but you are literally in Hawaii—inside a volcano.

I wish I was in better shape.

Randy's avatar

Granted, your now perfectly round.

I wish could talk to animals.

nocountry2's avatar

Granted! But the people lock you up for being a nutter.

I wish I knew how to fight more constructively with my SO…

ebenezer's avatar

granted! But you can’ t do it without safety glasses and a tool belt.

I wish I didnt have to sleep. Ever.

ezraglenn's avatar

Granted. You die of exhaustion.

I wish Obama was president already.

exek1's avatar

granted: he will be, but racist skin heads will start rioting.

I wish three streets were safer at night.

ebenezer's avatar

granted! They are but you have no idea which ones.

I wish I could speak Gaelic.

Randy's avatar

Granted! But now your a mute as well.

I wish I could control weather.

nocountry2's avatar

Granted! But now you are a scientific researcher stuck by yourself on a lonely island with only coconuts for friends.

I wish I could find my purpose.

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, but it turns out that you purpose is to be an example for others of what not to do with their lives.

I wish I had a really tasty sandwich.

ezraglenn's avatar

granted, but just as you pick it up to bite it everything falls off and onto the floor, and then in shock and haste to retrieve it, you step on it, slip, and end up in a coma until Sandwiches are made illegal due to a bread shortage.

I wish it was 75 degrees instead of 90 outside.

Allie's avatar

Granted! It’s 75 C. (I don’t have a calculator handy, but that’s about 165 F… I think?)

I wish I had gotten more sleep last night.

jlm11f's avatar

Granted! But you still haven’t woken up and are now considered to have serious health issues and your parents insist on taken you to the hospital.

I wish I could stop fluthering and go eat something!!

Allie's avatar

Granted! But Dr. Jelly gets worried and comes to visit you. You mistake him for a squid and fly him up like calamari. Sorry, Dr. Jelly.

I wish I were an Oscar Mayer weiner. (I’m running out of things to wish for.)

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, you become an Oscar Mayer wiener, but it turns out nobody is in love with you.

I wish I were camping.

scamp's avatar

Granted, but a huge bear is waiting outside your tent to eat you.
I wish I wasn’t so bored right now.

Allie's avatar

Granted! Instead you are overwhelmed with tasks to complete and you never get a break.

I wish the Pacific was within 30 miles.

ezraglenn's avatar

granted! God punishes us with another flood. The Ocean is everywhere.

I wish I didnt have a possibly cracked rib.

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, you have a definitely cracked rib.

I wish I could draw better.

Allie's avatar

Granted! But this is not the Wild West and you get arrested for murder.

I wish my headache would go away.

jlm11f's avatar

Granted! But now your whole body aches.

I wish I had something to wish for.

ezraglenn's avatar

granted. you wish for world peace, but god forsakes you.

I wish my dinner was here.

Allie's avatar

Granted! But it’s only the ingredients – you must make it from scratch.

I wish my friend was here so we could DJ together.

Randy's avatar

Granted! But you drop your records on your way down the stairs and they all break. =(

I wish I had a 3G iPhone today.

Allie's avatar

Randy: I would DIE if all my records broke. My heart would break as well.

Granted! But someone steals it from you tomorrow.

I wish I was better at wishing.

Randy's avatar

Granted! But, since all the wishes get twisted, you have a the worst day of anyone to counter all your good wishes.

I wish world peace.

Allie's avatar

Granted! But this genie misunderstood you and you end up with whirled peas.

I wish Limewire was working faster.

Randy's avatar

Oh No! Whirled peas, Gross!

Granted, but your transported 1,000 miles from home where you have a better connection and now you have no way home.

I wish I had a pug puppy.

Allie's avatar

Granted! It shits all over the place (including in your bed) and tears your furniture apart.

I wish I was back at the Stephen Marley show up in Arcata, Ca.

Dog's avatar

Granted- but there is bomb threat and the concert is cancelled. To make matters worse you are arrested as a suspect.

I wish Neil Young would market his car conversion prototype for free to all.

ebenezer's avatar

Granted! but it also comes with a free dvd of the movie Greendale.

I wish I could find some sneakers that weren’t stupid looking.

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, but they’re women’s sneakers.

I wish I had better internal stimuli to remind me to eat.

berocky1's avatar

granted. But you become 690 pounds.

I wish I had a 10 gallon drum of mojito right now.

ezraglenn's avatar

Granted. You drink the entire thing and die of alcohol poisoning.

I wish my liscense plate said “10 826 35”.

berocky1's avatar

granted. You get shot because you smile at the thought of your license plate.

I wish George bush wasn’t president anymore.

Allie's avatar

Granted! But Dick Cheney is.

I wish there was a breeze to go along with this heat.

berocky1's avatar

Granted. Its a tornado.

I wish I had some licorice.

ezraglenn's avatar

granted, it’s poisoned.

I wish I had some licorice.

jlm11f's avatar

granted, it’s poisoned.

I wish I had some licorice.

Just Kidding.

I wish I would get away from Fluther and go do something constructive!

berocky1's avatar

Granted. You have to go build a house.

I took constructive literally.

I wish I didn’t have to go on a plane tomorrow to D.C.

jlm11f's avatar

Granted. Instead, you are on a plane to Iraq.

I wish gas prices weren’t high.

berocky1's avatar

granted. You have a car that runs on water and water is 20 bucks a gallon.

I wish that I could go swimming right now.

Dog's avatar

Granted- but the cruise ship did not see you fall overboard.

I wish I could go treasure hunting.

berocky1's avatar

i wish that you guys would continue this game on twisted wished 2.

it will be more convienient and less cluttered.

thanks

jlm11f's avatar

Granted but it gets moderated. Ha!

I wish I could get paid to travel the world.

Dog's avatar

Granted but is is on donkey back.

I wish I was able to make everyone happy.

Aethelwine's avatar

Granted but you can never laugh again.

I wish I had a fireplace.

Dog's avatar

You have a fireplace but no house.

I wish I could get warm.

phoenyx's avatar

Granted, but now you can’t seem to cool off.

I wish I could keep my new year’s resolutions.

Dog's avatar

Granted- you are keeping them all but you are incarcerated.

I wish my computer could handle all the image work I have to do.

Aethelwine's avatar

Granted, but you must listen to this as you work.

I wish the Packers would win the game today so my husband will go to bed happy.

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