General Question

AstroChuck's avatar

Why are so many people opposed to same sex marriage?

Asked by AstroChuck (37566points) June 7th, 2008 from iPhone

No religious group is required to recognize it as marriage is a civil union. So why the big fuss?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

62 Answers

jlm11f's avatar

beats me. i am all for it.

Lost_World's avatar

BECOUSE if we all had same sex marriage the human race would die out.

scamp's avatar

@Melonking The human race would not die out. People would not automatically become gay just because same sex marriage was legal.

Upward's avatar

Many people believe it is unnatural, sinful and plain gross.
The reality is though, there are people that are only attracted to their on sex, so let them live their lives as they see fit. The Human race is too big as it is anyway!

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

I’m against it because it goes against God’s Word. He created man and woman to be together. That is why he made Adam and Eve. Notice how he didn’t make Adam and Steve.

syz's avatar

Because to the small minded, anyone different than them is frightening and threatening.

AstroChuck's avatar

@Mrs.Dr.FNF- So I guess your beloved Dr. Frank N Furter is burning in Hell because of his love of Rocky.

jenlk1207's avatar

because people are closed minded and are afraid of change. Homosexuality is not a choice, people should be allowed to love and be treated equally.

AstroChuck's avatar

I’d like to remind everyone who is oppossed to same sex marriage on religious grounds that we do not live in a theocracy. Marriage, in the US at least, is a civil union sanctioned by the state, not the church. No church, temple, mosque, etc. is required to perform any service, or recognize any union, that they object to. My second daughter married her husband by signing a piece of paper at city hall. I’m sure many would say that they weren’t married in the eyes of God, but I haven’t heard of anyone oppossed to their marriage. Every state in the union recognizes their union, so what’s the difference?

TheHaight's avatar

haha! Astro you’re hilarious. Mrs; I am completely against what you think, and not to mention- I am very much catholic. God would be acceptable of it now, and would want for us to be happy. So what the bible says its “against Gods word?” that was written so long ago. Be more open minded and know that love is love… My uncle and his partner make the cutest couple and ive always looked up to them more then any straight couple. I’m not trying to shove my views In your face mRs., I’m just speaking up for the people who can believe and follow Gods word, and firmly believe in same sex marriage at the same time. Times are changing! We need to be more acceptable

Breefield's avatar

My father is straight up against same sex marriage. He says it’s against what God / Bible had in mind for two people. His words where “no matter how many times one guy sticks another in the butt they’ll never make a baby.”
I think it should be allowed, and not so much allowed as respected. It’s a double standard law. Should gay people not be allowed to drive on the same roads as us because they’re not making babies. Seriously thought.

willbrawn's avatar

I am against it, I’m religious.

scamp's avatar

I am religious too, but the bible tells us not to judge others. So are we to ignore that instruction? We are talking about civil unions here. As Astro says, the church’s sanction is not required to be legal. It’s not my place to decide what people can or cannot do in the privacy of their own homes. If two people are in a loving and comitted relationship, I think they should have legal rights such as making medical decisions, insurance issues and other life sharing matters. What they do in the bedroom and wtih whom is none of our business.

phoenyx's avatar

I’m somewhat against it because, in general, I’m somewhat against government defining and deciding what marriage is and is not. I’m intrigued by the libertarian idea that groups shouldn’t be given special rights that the individuals in that group don’t have.

Riser's avatar

I am against a democratic decision (see Proposition 22 in California state law) being usurped for the sake of publicity—i.e. Gavin Newsom’s decision to ignore state law and issue same sex marriage licenses in San Francisco.

If the ninth circuit’s decision to overturn Proposition 22 is implemented, I will be satisfied as a democratic citizen.

MisterBlueSky85's avatar

I’m not against it, and I feel that those who fervently oppose it are dealing a major blow to their own religions in the same way they dealt a blow to themselves when supporting slavery and racism back when that was acceptable.

50 years from now we’ll think differently.

seVen's avatar

what part of Sodom & Gomorrah part don’t people don’t understand ?
Sodomite lifestyle goes against sacred life created by God.

monsoon's avatar

My dad kicked me out when I was 14 because he found out I was gay, and now I speak to him only a few times a year; he will never know his grandchildren. He is very sorry. He expresses that he wishes we were closer. I don’t care much.

Hate has lost him his child, and me my father. But I am young and have a life of love stretching ahead of me. He is a sad old man. Who is living a life that the Abrahmic god would smile on?

A life of love or a life of hate.

fabulous's avatar

I think all that matters is you are happy with the one you love be they of the opposite sex or the same sex

Upward's avatar

The Bible teaches all these things are “Abomination”, yet we only focus on some of them.

male homosexual activity (Leviticus 18:22)
eating seafood that lacks fins and scales (Leviticus 11:11)
remarrying the person one previously divorced (Deuteronomy 24:4)
telling lies (Proverbs 12:22)
eating unclean Animals (Leviticus 20:25)
eating certain birds of prey (Leviticus 11:12)
being proud in heart (Proverbs 16:5)

The Bible also says to kill our rebellious children… (Deuteronomy 21,21)

Maybe the situation they were said in has changed in the last few thousand years…

osullivanbr's avatar

In the Jewish Bible, which bearing in mind is the Christian Old Testament, the Sodomites were not so much stressed as being guilty of the sin of homosexuality which is the belief of most fanatical Christians. They were said to be mainly guilty of cruelty and lack of welcoming hospitality to a stranger.

Josephus even agrees with this take on it.

To my understanding of Genesis 19 something or other (couldn’t be bothered looking it up now to be honest) this homosexual view seems most unlikely since it said that all of the men (perhaps all of the people) of Sodom formed the mob at Lot’s house and demanded to “know” the angels. The percentage of male adults in a population is generally around 5%, not 100%.

Also, Lot had lived in the city for some years and would have know if all of the men were homosexuals; he would hardly have offered to sacrifice his daughters to the mob if the men were entirely homosexual.

Furthermore, if the men of Sodom were all homosexuals, would you not think that there would be few if any children and widows in the city as mentioned elsewhere in the Bible.

I’m getting immensely sick of people throwing that Bible around, and misconstruing the truths found within it to support their own archaic views of right and wrong.

seVen, the God of love that you believe in, would not be against love in ANY of it’s forms as TheHaight has already pointed out. Move on. She’s absolutely right.

And please remember, for every interpretation of a passage in the bible there are also dozens of other just as valid takes.

If two people are in Love, be there both men, woman, sodomites, catholics, jews, hell homeless people on the street, if their love is real, then it is an immensely beautiful thing.

I apologize for the rant in the middle of your question mate.

TrenchMouth's avatar

Many people are opposed to same sex marriage because many people devoutly subscribe to a belief system that encourages discrimination against homosexuals supported by certain quotes attributed to God.
I have heard no reasoning outside the influence of religious perspective that suggests homosexual marriage is categorically threatening to society. Where one presented I might listen.
The long and short of my answer to your question is simply that the number of people influenced by religious beliefs hostile to homosexuality outnumber those not opposed to same sex marriage. Those numbers seem to be fluctuating though, and people are starting to shed old beliefs that seem just plain old silly in an enlightened world. Which is nice.
Don’t take this to mean that all religious devotees are hostile to homosexuality. There are a great number that are not. However, there are not a great number of people hostile to homosexuality that are not religious.

Maverick's avatar

Theres so much hate in the world already, if two people love each other and want to make a commitment to be together forever, then that is a beautiful thing that nobody has any right to deny. It has absolutely nothing to do with religion (the concept of marriage predates organized religion by at least several thousand years) and besides which, churches are not required to accept same-sex marriages anyway – so they can continue to be as backward and intolerant as they always have been. The fact that a small and vocal minority can debate same-sex marriage at all just shows how petty, spiteful, and inhuman they actually are.

AstroChuck's avatar

Again, everyone keeps bringing biblical passages here as if this were a theocracy? I don’t think many of you would like some of the fundamentalists of other faiths dictating morals to you. We aren’t talking about the laws of God, but of the government. Remember, only two of the ten commandments are adressed in the law.
@seVen- What “rant” are you talking about. And I don’t need anyone to apologize on my behalf. There is nothing I need to apologize for. I haven’t attacked anyone’s religion.

dingus108's avatar

This is a very difficult subject to debate with such a large variety of Flutherites. It really won’t get anywhere but it does seem to be an interesting subject. I really have no opinion on the subject, but it did make me angry when the ban on gay marriage was overturned in my homestate of California. The reason for my disappointment was not because of gay marriage being legal, but because the courts completely went against the vote of the people. I don’t have complete evidence, but there probably are people who can vouch for me, but there was a voting period for Californians and the majority was against the idea, and the courts overturned the ban anyways. w/e, just be happy with yourselves the way you are.

AstroChuck's avatar

The court was justified as Prop. 22 violates the state constitution. It is responsibility of the California Supreme Court is to defend that constitution. Now, if the people wish to change the state constitution, that’s entirely up to them. Just don’t lambast the courts for doing their job and upholding the law.

Mrs_Dr_Frank_N_Furter's avatar

@Astro: It’s a flippen’ movie

Upward's avatar

We are a democracy but still America is not run by majority rules. We’re suppose to look out for the best interest of all groups large and small.
Otherwise we would still have slavery and women wouldn’t vote.
@AstroChuck – The main reason Americans give for not wanting same sex marriage is they think the Bible tells them it is wrong. I tried to show the flaws of using scripture to justify bigotry. In the 60’s the same things were being said about interracial marriage.

sndfreQ's avatar

@Mrs._Dr.: What? I don’t follow you…

phoenyx's avatar

(Just so I can understand better)

Why do homosexuals want to get married?

nayeight's avatar

I think its stupid for us to even have to have these conversations. I hate how ignorant people want to dictate their so-called morals on others. The fact that our government still has not adressed the issue appropriately by granting marriage to anyone of legal age who seeks it digusts me. Who the hell do people think they are? I agree 100% with astro, religion has nothing to do with this issue. This is a democracy and we are all free men and women. There is (or should be) a seperation of church and state in all situations regarding our rights as Americans.

syz's avatar

@phoenyx In my state, if I have been in a committed monogamous relationship for 20 years and my partner has a terminal illness, I can be barred from entering her hospital room. I can be barred from making medical decisions on her behalf. I cannot be covered under her insurance plan (and vice versa). If we have children together, they can be taken away from me when she dies because I have no parental rights to them. Probate can be tied up indefinately. I cannot follow through on decisions that we may have made together regarding burial or cremation.

Granted, there are steps that I can take to mitigate these situations somewhat (power of attorney, for example) but those legal moves are limited in scope and can easily be challenged (for example, if her family is homophobic and decides to take action).

Personally, my only wish for legal civil unions are for those types of legal protections. I can assure you, any religion that I might be willing to believe in would allow me to make a vow of love and honor with my partner regardless of what current sociological trends may mandate.

CameraObscura's avatar

I’m an agnostic, mostly fiscal conservative/republican with absolutely no ill feelings towards homosexuals whatsoever. I resent the fact that so many foolishly factor down the opposition to gay marriage as simply homophobic, neanderthal-like thinking.

I do not believe gays should be allowed to marry but believe they should enjoy all
the same benefits of married heterosexuals. Call it civil union, call it whatever you want
but don’t call it marriage.

As I believe phoenyx was implying, I’m not completely sure why the title is as important as it appears to be. It’s like trying to get invited to a party that never wanted you in the first place. Again, I’m not religious so don’t confuse my words for someone who’s already invited so to speak, but I just don’t understand the reasoning behind seeking a title sanctioned by a group that openly discriminates against you…

Also, this is an issue directly affecting less than 4% of the United States population.
The amount of attention and coverage is completely overblown in my opinion for an issue
which, try as I might, I cannot completely wrap my head around. In other words, If I’m
gay… screw conservative Christians, screw their title, and screw their belief that my lifestyle is a one-way ticket to hell.

As far as the California Supreme Court overturning Prop 22, I still have not heard or found the actual wording in California’s constitution which was interpreted by the court to mean gays should enjoy equal rights to heteros in regard to marriage. Not saying it doesn’t exist, I just cannot find it. If someone has a link, please post it.

jcs007's avatar

1. God said to love one another.
2. Gay people love one another.
3. Gay people are just doing what God said.
4. God is happy.

Therefore: God is happy with homosexual people. Yay flawless logic!

It’s been said already, but gay couples should get the same rights and privileges as straight ones. People seem to have an issue with the religious side of it, but my super perfect flawless best proof stands up to the argument.

phoenyx's avatar

I should clarify. For me, my marriage is between me, my wife and God because I believe involving God will make my marriage better. Sure, I have a piece of paper from the government that says I’m married, but that isn’t the reason I consider myself married.

I only know one homosexual couple, and they don’t want to be married. They just want certain rights (e.g. hospital visitation, etc.) that are being denied them. If they were given equal rights they would be satisfied.

Now that I think about it, what I really want to know is why people want to make it about “marriage” which is certainly going to get religious/other opposition instead of “equal rights” which won’t have the same opposition?

playthebanjo's avatar

Because just like in the 50’s, separate but equal cannot ever truly be equal…would it be okay to have gay and straight water fountains and restrooms? How about gay and straight hotels. Or gay and straight jails and schools? How about one justice system for gays and one for straight…oh that’s right- we already have that.

monsoon's avatar

Christians make it really hard to not hate them. I try to think of it this way:

Hate the Christianity, love the Christian.

(I don’t actually hate Christianity. It’s a joke, funny ha ha.)

monsoon's avatar

and @ poenyx, marriage has been around for WAY longer than judaism. You guys did not create it. You act like we should just lay down and let you keep your marriage, and make something of our own, when marriage does not belong to one religion or people or tradition.

We should except something other than what we want and what we believe is a human right simply because that other will ruffle less feathers?

I know a woman (the greatest woman I’ve ever known in my life, coincidentally) who has been with her female partner for 21 years. They’ve been civilly unionized, they’ve had a “ceremony,” and they’ve been married in Canada.

When the ruling in California was passed (where we are), we spoke about it, and she confided in me that she actually felt nervous. She told me she she’s been “married” three times now, but all of a sudden she’s nervous, this is the real commitment, the real “to death do us part.” Of course she and her spouse are going to legally marry, but it’s amazing that after being with her wife for twenty years, she feels like a newlywed.

I can’t make you understand being gay if you’re not. I can’t explain what oppression feels like. But just think about that. Twenty years.

Your gay friends are not really the norm, not to oppose their opinion in any way. I only mean that if you watch CBS news on Logo (the gay channel), every time a state legalizes same sex civil unions, it’s seen as a great loss by the gay community. A gigantic step sideways and out of the pressure of current politics.

@astro, I’ve got to stop following this, it’s bad for me. And probably for fluther (me on this post that is, not this post itself). Much love though. :)

nikipedia's avatar

Easy: because they’re bigots.

phoenyx's avatar

I was just trying to figure out if it was something intrinsic to marriage itself, or it was the privileges afforded to married people. I’m not arguing separate but equal. To take the example of drinking fountains. Suppose there are drinking fountains for “whites only.” The government then decrees that blacks are now considered “white” by the government, so they can drink from all of the “whites only” drinking fountains. Now suppose that, instead, the government decides that everyone, regardless of skin pigment, has the right to drink from a drinking fountain. Now suppose that people could choose who gets parental rights to their child regardless of marital status.

monsoon: I’ve had limited experience with this issue and, honestly, haven’t formed an opinion yet. This is obviously an emotional, important issue for you and I appreciate that you shared your perspective with me.

Bigtechdude's avatar

Same sex? Then why does one looks like a dude? And one like a girl. I work at a retail store and I see it all the time. If you are gay than why can’t you just be your self? If your a girl be a girl. Marriage is a man and a woman. Sorry.

TheHaight's avatar

bigtechdude; maybe they are being themselves. How the hell do you know?

jonno's avatar

phoenyx – why do heterosexuals want to get married?

sndfreQ's avatar

@bigtechdude: I worked in retail while I was in college (at one point held three retail jobs simultaneously), and have to say that it was a great learning experience. Learning to serve others equally and be accepting of a diverse range of clientelle. I was fortunate to have the opportunity to learn tolerance and to not be judgmental of others if they had different values.

Like TheHaight said, people are just trying to be themselves, and I’ll add that in most cases, people aren’t asking to be judged-they just want the same freedoms and chance at happiness that you or I want.

phoenyx's avatar

jonno: U.S. citizenship? Future father-in-law owns a shotgun?

Seriously, though, I appreciate that, as monsoon‘s shared, it is about the commitment, security, love, etc.

Babo's avatar

I don’t understand. It’s about love, for heavens sake! Why not?!!

syz's avatar

An update:

Lesbian couple of 55 years ready to say ‘I do’

By LISA LEFF, Associated Press Writer 49 minutes ago

SAN FRANCISCO – Phyllis Lyon and Del Martin fell in love at a time when lesbians risked being arrested, fired from their jobs and sent to electroshock treatment.

On Monday, more than a half-century after they became a couple, Lyon and Martin plan to become one of the first same-sex couples to legally exchange marriage vows in California.

The rest of the story at

nayeight's avatar

I think that’s wonderful. I’m in Hawaii on vacation and when I was visiting the polynesian cultural center (owned by the church of latter-day saints aka Mormon church) there was a lovely lesbian couple who just got married that day. During the luau, the host invited all the newlywed couples to come up and dance but they didn’t go up. I think they were scared and they shouldn’t have been. I felt really bad for them but at the same time I was happy for them for getting married and even coming to the PPC.

Babo's avatar

Mazel Tov!!!

zepoman's avatar

Since fundamentalists often characterize homosexuals as promiscuous, they should welcome gay marriage because it is a loving commitment to one other entity for life. Wouldn’t they consider this “the lesser of two evils?”

Upward's avatar

They sure have warmed up to divorce in the last 30 years. I think it’s only a matter of time before they will welcme gay couples as a normal part of life.

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nayeight's avatar

@ papa0so What makes you think that monsoon can’t have children? There are many ways for gay couples to have child. They can adopt a child at any age here or overseas. They can also try to find a surrogate mother and use artificial insemenation. They can also just find a friend willing to bear them a child and do things the old fashioned way.

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gailcalled's avatar

I have two gay women friends who are a couple. They were each inseminated with the sperm from the same donor. They each had a little girl, who are both blood half-sisters and psychologically family.

My best friend decided years ago that he wanted a child. So he and a close female friend did it the old-fashioned way and she had a little boy. The three have remained family; my friend has been with his boyfriend for 15 years; the child’s mother never had another intimate relationship.Now everyone is family (including me half the time.)

Father and male lover, mother, son and girlfriend, sister of father and HER long-time female companion and single brother of father. We’re all going to Tanglewood for Mozart on Sat. with my sister and her second husband.

gailcalled's avatar

Cost – nothing.

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gailcalled's avatar

Reread what I wrote. No one had anything to do with a medical professional except for the deliveries. No surrogacy, no clinics, just good friends helping each other.

gailcalled's avatar

PS. Sperm donor for my two female friends gave them his sperm as a gift.

nayeight's avatar

If he/she adopts then it would be their child and furthermore it would be their parent’s grandchild. A family is more than just blood. I work with a girl who was adopted and she has a huge family, all of whom accept her just like her other brothers and sisters who were not adopted.

AstroChuck's avatar

I can verify that. I have two grown biological daughters and one 8 year-old adopted daughter that we’ve had since she was 2 days old. It makes absolutely no difference that she isn’t blood related.

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