Social Question

gmaillover's avatar

Is he interested or playing around?

Asked by gmaillover (1points) February 7th, 2013

I’m his co-worker—technically, we’re in the same team.

At our first team gathering, I didn’t think much of it until the end. There were 3 guys and 3 girls left. One girl accidentally asked me what was my boyfriend’s ethnicity. It was weird that she randomly asked me this question. I had to stumble a little because my relationship was on and off with my currently “off” boyfriend. He started acting rather distant after hearing this, and well, the mini party was over after. I noticed him acting rather different, but I didn’t really think much of it.

I noticed that he’s nice to everyone, so again, I don’t think much of it until recently when he invited me to his party at his home. A lot of people were invited, and obviously, I don’t think much of it. I don’t know most of the people he invited—just a few I know from random encounters.

At his party, things were alright. We get to talk, and the usual.

This is where things get heated up. Party’s over, everyone’s going home, and I was about to leave, but I decided to chill a little longer. I have a little crush on him, but it’s just because he was “nice” and nothing else.

There were 2 other guys, beside him and myself. They were drinking, and someone popped a wine. 10–15mins later, they left. It was just the two of us left. He was somewhat drunk, and I was rather tipsy.

He pulled me, and started asking me if I have a boyfriend, and assuring me that he’s not gay—real straight. He started kissing me, whereas I pushed him aside telling him that it’ll be weird at work, and the struggle continued until I gave in (I felt tired after shoving him away, and I was not in the mood for some reason after being tipsy/drunk).

We kissed, and he started touching me nearing my private areas—and that was when I had to push him away completely.

At work, we talk like usual, except we chat more. He asked me if I were to go to work’s night out, and etc. Our random chats were just a tad bit more ‘intimate’ than just being friends. At the night out, we sat next to each other, and I had a feeling he was trying to talk to me about last night, but I made it distant. I like him, but I’m not sure that I wanted to go that way completely… I guess, in a way, I’m just not ready to be serious with him (this is my 3rd month knowing him).

I tried to be a bit more caring to him, well, just because I do care for him. He’s stressing at work a lot, and I wanted to just care for him.

Note that I’m trying to be as neutral as possible explaining this story. I know that my story can be a bit biased, but if you need more information, I can give a bit more insight.

Your insight to this matter can be very helpful to decide whether I should slowly pursue this weird state of friendship.

Thank you all.

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9 Answers

rojo's avatar

This is somewhat out of my league but I would say this is/was the wine talking and that you would be better off putting some distance between the two of you.
Intercompany romances seem to have a way of blowing up in your face.

snapdragon24's avatar

He seems interested and it seems like you are playing around a bit. You want to keep your distance but you stayed all the way to the end of the party. You have a crush on him – yet you have this indifferent attitude about you, he wants to clear the air with you and you didn’t let him…bit confusing. Hear him out, then take it from there :)

HolographicUniverse's avatar

I agree, it is YOU that seems indecisive.

Dating Co workers rarely play out well for all parties involved so it may be best to keep it professional, or if you choose to pursue your interest then remain distant in the professional setting.
You two were drunk, mistakes happen but it seems as though he is showing genuine affection for you and you haven’t made up your mind on what to do.

marinelife's avatar

It seems like he’s interested in you but if so why doesn’t he ask you out? I would ask him.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Sounds to me that he’s just trying to get in your pants, or he’d have taken you out and treated you like a lady instead of getting drunk and groping you.

Also, I advise you in future to be very careful about getting too drunk and being alone with several men, it’s a risky situation that you shouldn’t put yourself in.

Work relationships are tough and really awkward, been there done that and do NOT recommend it.

rojo's avatar

@KNOWITALL I don’t know about your advice about being drunk and alone with a bunch of men.
As I mentioned in another post, statistics show that nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape.

snapdragon24's avatar

Enjoy gang rape? Wtf

KNOWITALL's avatar

@snapdragon24 Bunch of comedians around here, not always funny though. :)

snapdragon24's avatar

Ah, got it! Thnx for the heads up!

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