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ETpro's avatar

What Franken-creatures can you imagine making as we become adept at gene splicing?

Asked by ETpro (34605points) April 1st, 2013

It’s April Fools day and fun with critters time. What strange critters might gene splicing let us brew up? Imagine the fleet-footed, heavily-armored antedillo, bearing a mixture of characteristics of the antelope’s fleetness coupled with the armadillo’s armor. What a war horse a large antedillo would make.

Or how about facing the spines and teeth of the dreaded porcugator, which inherited the most fearsome characteristics of the alligator and porcupine that were merged in its DNA. A few of those swimming in the moat around your castle, and you’d be safe from all but the hardiest of intruders.

What strange creatures can you imagine, and what sort of portmanteau names would they bear? What interesting features might your pet hybrid have? What could your Franken-creature be put to good use doing? The goal is to achieve both a useful critter and a funny portmanteau for its name. Have a it, all you hybridized human Jellies.

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17 Answers

downtide's avatar

A Monkey-pony. Watch it quick before Youtube takes down all their videos. ;)

Why are you screaming? Did I use too many monkeys?

ETpro's avatar

Great song and fun video, but how much nicer it would be if he’d called it a Ponkey? And enough of these things that look like one animal’s rear sewn on to another creature’s front. Yes, that’s easier to photoshop a hybrid that way, but a Liger looks like this, not this.

RealEyesRealizeRealLies's avatar

Nothing too exotic here. Just a bunch of different colored copies of myself. A full rainbow of little monsters running around should be enough havoc for any one planet to handle.

ETpro's avatar

@RealEyesRealizeRealLies My friend, you are colorful enough to match any rainbow already. :-)

gorillapaws's avatar

If someone ever merged squirrels with mosquitos, the human race would probably go extinct.

ETpro's avatar

@gorillapaws Ah, the dreaded flying, tree climbing squisquito that would just as soon eat your nuts as suck your blood. You’re right, that mix would be a very bad idea!

poisonedantidote's avatar

I’d splice an elephant with an AIDS virus, and Aidsyphant, a perfect como of micro and macro.

Failing that, I’d make an actual Manbearpig, just so I can loose it on the creators of South Park just for the laugh of hearing them say “Shit, it’s actually real” before running for it.

gorillapaws's avatar

Giraffe and chihuahua. A “Gihuahua” would have the height of a great dane, the tenacity of a chihuahua, and the ability to see high and low in many directions. Lash a gang of them to a sled on skateboard wheels and you have America’s next fossil-fuel-free mode of personal transportation.

elbanditoroso's avatar

A politician and a hyena.

Never mind, we already have those….

LuckyGuy's avatar

How about a glow in the dark bunny? Oh wait… they already did that. Glow Bunny Alba

flutherother's avatar

A chihuahua and a laughing hyena to produce the chihaha.

gondwanalon's avatar

I just watched “The Rise of the Planet of the Apes” where the non-human apes were infected with a virus that scientists were monkeying around with. It was great for the apes but wiped out all the humans. A deadly mutant micro organism generated by man is the worst Frankenstein-creature that I can think of.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

A Tea Party supporter with intellect high enough to be dangerous?

ETpro's avatar

@poisonedantidote At least that would be one AIDS virus we could easily detect and remove from the human body. Gotta love manbearpig, though.

@gorillapaws The Gihuahua. The next big thing in renewable energy.

@elbanditoroso Ha! How true.

@LuckyGuy I somehow missed Alba when the bunny was a media sensation. It was before moving to Boston, so the Boston Glove rarely caught my attention back then.

@flutherother Very good. Seems everyone wants to make something else out of the chihuahua.

@gondwanalon Not funny at all, but frighteningly true. And it’s almost sure to happen.

@Dr_Lawrence I wouldn’t be surprised if adding intellect might straighten out some of their thinking. I mean, we wouldn’t be getting stuff like, “Get your government hands off my Medicare.”

SmartAZ's avatar

How about crossing a pen with a coat hanger so the pens will multiply and the coat hangers will disappear.

I am surprised that nobody suggested any idea involving a wild mink.

ETpro's avatar

@SmartAZ You’d want a mink-goat?

Brian1946's avatar

I’d like to implant the political mentality of Sen. Al Franken into the brain of every congressperson except for Elizabeth Warren, Bernie Sanders, Jeff Merkley, and Kamala Harris.

If he married our other CA senator and hyphenated her name to his, then s/he’d be Senator Franken-Feinstein.

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