General Question

Optimism101's avatar

Can things be normal if you tell your friend you love her?

Asked by Optimism101 (101points) June 17th, 2008 from iPhone

ok bare with me now, been drinking watching the game and working up the courage to tell my friend I love her.. My question is this if she doesnt feel the same can things be the same afterward.. Granted I’m not going to express my affection in this state of mind..

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

14 Answers

cheebdragon's avatar

no, I’m sorry.

jrpowell's avatar

I would seriously keep this information to yourself. Going from friend to love is a big jump. I would start with asking her out on a date.

You will probably destroy your friendship if you tell her this. It is easier to recover from asking her out on a date if she says no.

kevbo's avatar

Don’t tell her you love her. Start flirting with her and see if she responds positively. If she does, keep flirting and build that up over a period of a month or two until you get to a moment where she’s ready to hear you. If you have to say something (don’t!) ask her about her thoughts on friends having crushes on other friends and then gauge from there whether to tell her about the crush “you might be getting” on her.

her that you think you’re getting a crush on

Optimism101's avatar

Nah its not a crush Ive fallen head over heels for her.. Unfortunately I font think its the same in her mind.. Bit I have to know for sure.. But at the same time I still want her in my life..

iCeskate's avatar

just go for it and tell her….

kevbo's avatar

Dude, you can fall on the sword of your Truth, or you can prick her with the tip of it to see how she’ll bleed. I’m telling you what works.

Dog's avatar

Listen to Kevbo.

If you tell her you love her- head over heels and she does NOT feel the same she will immediately think of you differently:

She will not want to share information as she would be afraid to hurt you or that she would be leading you on.

She will avoid being alone with you.

She will think of you with guilt because she had to hurt you by saying she did not feel the same.

In other words- The friendship is TOAST.

Do as Kevbo says- it is the best way to try to preserve the relationship. If And take it reeeeeeeeaaaaaaallllllll slow. No big professions of love- those are scary even when the girl likes you.

jstringham21's avatar

Wait…you didn’t mention if you are a girl or guy? If you’re a guy, you might make it awkward. If you’re a girl, not only will it be awkward, but she will think you’re a lesbian.

marinelife's avatar

I don’t want to get naked with you (bare all), but I know that sometimes one is brinning over with one’s “truth.” If you have discovered the love recently, you are filled up with it.

If you are sincere when you say you want some relationship no matter what—FOLLOW kevbo’s very sound advice.

This has happened to me both ways (a friend said they loved me that I did no love; and I loved a friend who did not return my feelings). The one truism from those experiences is that the friendship was never the same.

If you must talk about it, call a guy friend (if you are a guy) who doesn’t know her.

naina's avatar

Patience please or it is going to get ruined. Don’t you have any clue on how she feels? If you don’t then spend more time with her, flirt some, talk some [ not about how you feel ]. I’m giving advice I’ve never used myself – not love per se but I’ve gone and told more than a couple of ‘friends’ that I was into them and in the short term the friendship changed but in the long term, those guys are two of my closest friends. I’m more for the “life’s too short, s it when you get a chance” but in most cases that also requires self-acknowledgment that it might not work out in your favor. But “Ask and Thou Shalt Get.”

Knotmyday's avatar

The best thing you can do for yourself AND her is not mention the word “love” at all. If she’s not on the same page, saying “love” will more than likely kick her out of the book.
Try being good, kind, thoughtful and spontaneous toward her, and try not to be too weird.
And steel yourself for the probability that she might begin dating someone else in the interim.
Be strong, my man.

flameboi's avatar

Say it, it doesn’t matter if things are normal or not afterwards, you have to say what, the what ifs normally chase you for the rest of your life, so I think is better to know.

Babo's avatar

Love changes everything!

marinelife's avatar

Edit: That was supposed to be brimming (and I wasn’t even drinking)!

@Optimism101 We all want to know what happens now.

Answer this question




to answer.

This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther