Social Question

Eggie's avatar

How do you spot a woman who is an opportunist?

Asked by Eggie (5591points) February 20th, 2014

Some women especially those who do not have a good job or who has a really bad family problem like a lousy husband or boyfriend who is not taking care of their kids or is being abused, would push themselves on a man who has a good paying job. They don’t necessarily love the man but would more often try to fool him or trap him in some way. I have seen this and actually I have been told this by a lot of older people and have been cautioned to be put on my guard. What I want to know is how can a man tell? Is there signs that he should look out for?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

24 Answers

Eggie's avatar

I ask this question, because I have been hit on by some women lately, but most of them happen to be single moms.

dougiedawg's avatar

You don’t-she spots you;)

Paradox25's avatar

I would try to learn a bit more about them before considering dating them, or something more. Try to learn about their past dating history, and the types of guys they have dated. Be aware too, that a guy can be forced to pay child support in cases where they are not the biological fathers, and even in cases where the non-biological father did not adopt the kids. In some states it only has to be established that the guy was a father figure, even if he only dated the woman for a few months, before being eligible to be forced to pay child support.

I’m not saying that most single mothers will do this, but just be aware since what I had mentioned does happen. I’m not sure about Canadian laws, but in France it is actually illegal for a guy to request a paternity test without the consent of the woman in question.

syz's avatar

Same way you spot a male opportunist.

Blondesjon's avatar

Walk around with a hundred dollar bill sticking out of your fly.

LuckyGuy's avatar

True or not, tell them you live with your parents and have no job prospects. Watch their reaction.

Cruiser's avatar

An opportunist will present themselves as vulnerable and needy and the woman who knows what she desires from a man in her life will exude confidence and certainty in her choices.

stanleybmanly's avatar

All it should take is to present opportunities, and the sought after animals should appear. But it’s tough hanging labels on people. ALL of us are opportunities, if not of one another, then certainly of marketing and advertisers. Just try to list the industries based on supporting and improving our “opportunities”. Women have it worst. The outfitters for the hunt rake in billions. Everything from the cosmetic industry, through foundation garments and six inch heel foot torture machinery. We’re all somebody’s opportunity. There isn’t an animal on the planet that isn’t preyed upon by something.

KNOWITALL's avatar

Does this woman work?

If you offered her a hundred bucks for a spa day would she accept or even ask for more so she could get extra treatments?

Did you check your local database for judgements or other financial clues?

Is she high-maintenance, nails always done, best clothes, best shoes, etc…?

Does she pick the most expensive items on the menu for dinner, or the most expensive restaurants?

Does she flirt with other rich men that may be friends of yours or when you’re around?

LuckyGuy's avatar

At my previous office there was a true female predator. she wa in her ealy 40’s with a daughter about 19. She was the administrative assistant that took care of time cards and other office issues for about 25 engineers.
Here is how she hunted. (Take notes.) She would ask a nice guy if he could her a favor and stop by her house after work and help her do something that takes two people, for example: help move a picnic table, or help hang a curtain rod. “It will only take 5 minutes.” The guy does it and as he is leaving she says “Thanks! I owe you a dinner.” The guy says “No it’s ok. My pleasure.” The next day at work she calls him and asked when he’s free for dinner. He says no. She keeps calling saying she feels bad about it. He finally agrees to get her off his back. They go to dinner. He says “thanks.” The next days she starts asking him when are they going out again. She keeps calling and calling and checking where he is. If a guy did that it would be harassment and he would be fired. But the (supposedly non-existent) double standard rears its head. The guys are afraid to complain. She keeps pushing until eventually they can’t stand it and tell their boss. She did this to 3 guys who all kept it secret. Somebody in the group finally told someone else and all the other guys were warned. That stopped it. If she needed help moving the picnic table, 2 guys would show up. No guy was ever alone with her again.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@LuckyGuy That doesn’t necessarily sound like an opportunist though, just a stalker or pathetic person. Why didn’t any of them just man up and say ‘not interested, but thanks?

LuckyGuy's avatar

They did. The guys she picked are nice guy engineers and would do anything to help someone. If I asked them to stop by my house and help me load the wood splitter into the van they would do it in a second. So would I. She asked for help hanging a curtain rod. They could not say no. After they do it, she starts her shtick. They don’t even suspect anything is going on. She says she just want to return the favor and buy lunch or dinner. After much pestering they finally agree and she starts.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@LuckyGuy Maybe just lonely, makes me feel sorry for her a little bit.

LornaLove's avatar

I agree with @KNOWITALL if she is an opportunist she found no opportunity. Instead @LuckyGuy she sounds desperate to meet a man and that is her ploy. Most of the opportunistic women I know focus on a mans weakness. It can be sex, food or whatever (I’d say most times it’s sex) then she uses that to get whatever she wants.She uses sex in a very clever and cunning way. She would have to be clever, unlike @LuckyGuy ‘s girl she sounds fumbling in her attempts. The opportunistic is a hustler really.

LuckyGuy's avatar

She used the typical engineer’s natural desire to help and fix things. The three guys she “hunted” all had good jobs, were divorced, about the same age or a little older than she, and all had empty nests. Her problem was overdoing the follow-up. She creeped them out by calling 10–15 times a day. If a guy did that to a woman it would be called harassment.

Paradox25's avatar

@LuckyGuy I don’t feel that a person trying to get a date is necessarily an opportunist, and I actually respect her assertiveness considering that she’s a woman. She might be overbearing, but you’ve provided little information outside of the fact that she’s merely trying to get a date and being a bit aggressive with it. I’ve had a few women use tricks like that with me trying to get me to their house, and personally I find it cute, even if I’m not interested in them.

On the other hand I have known of several women who make a habit out of getting pregnant to guys who make decent money, and then dumping them and living off of the child support (these women don’t work). I also know of women who date guys with good paying jobs, get them to adopt the kids, dump the guy shortly after, take the child support money, and don’t even allow these guys to see their adopted kids afterwards.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@Paradox25 Would you feel the same way if the situation was reversed and it was a man doing the “looking”?

The example you give are awful! Men need to be warned.

Paradox25's avatar

I’d rather not go any further with your former point since this has happened to me already too. You should know by now that from my posts I’m pretty vocal about double standards concerning men and women. I made my comment because people will always try to get dates, it’s human nature, though I agree with you about the ethical double standards.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@LuckyGuy My sis-in-law wraps men around her finger day 1 with little effort. She’s gorgeous has these fake thing’s on her chest and is a personal trainer.

All the best thing’s in life are hers for the taking and if her husband can’t provide them, she’ll leave him and the kids and go find a guy who will give them to her. Once she has to pay her own bills she comes back to her husband and kids, acts like a good wife for a few months, then gets back in the game.

Our family (my BIL) has suffered through many drama’s with drugs & alcohol, divorces, bankruptcies and she still thinks it’s okay for her to do this to him and the two boys. That is an opportunist and a predator and you’ll give it all to her with a smile and a proud laugh because you have a gorgeous, hot little redhead on your arm.

LuckyGuy's avatar

@KNOWITALL If that is all she has going for her, she needs to milk while she’s got it. It won’t last.
At least it forces her to keep her weight in check.

This shows men need to be trained too.

KNOWITALL's avatar

@LuckyGuy I think it’s our obsession with beauty fueling these kinds of women.

It doesn’t really bother me what she takes from men who are willing to buy a beautiful woman (because they both are getting what they want), but the heartlessness with which she treats her children and even some of us (her family).

For example, when my husband and I had a lot of money, she was very nice, wanting us to come over for dinner often. Then after two weeks of being nice, she needed to make a big sale with Mary Kay, so I was her target. And I bought a couple things, but it was the fact that she always wants something from you that is wearying and sad.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Heartless people must prove themselves to be that way first. Once you are sure, you are free to just say “No thanks. I can’t help you.” Knowing what you know now, would you have purchased whatever shmutz she was peddling? Hopefully not.
Nice people feel bad or sorry for them. that is their strength and our weakness. I just say “No.” I don’t even say “I’m sorry” to those people any more. They only hear the word “No”. All the rest is just noise. Like Charlie Brown’s parents talking: wah wah wah..
Heartless: “Can you take me shopping today?”. Sap:“No. I am going to a funeral for my best friend” Heartless: “How am I going to get bread?” Sap. “I don’t know. He had a family 3 children under the age of 12.” Heartless: “When will you take me?”
Once you know what you’re dealing with the answers are so simple. “No. Bye”

KNOWITALL's avatar

@LuckyGuy And since I’m a woman, I’m not influenced by her blatant sexuality either- lol

It’s just hard on the family because we love our brother, and she makes it nearly impossible to have a positive relationship with him because he still is taking her back time and time again.

LornaLove's avatar

@KNOWITALL They need not be beautiful, in the conventional sense anyway. My late ex-husband had an opportunist extraordinaire. She wasn’t particularly beautiful to start off with. I guess at the time she used mostly her youth and sexual kinkiness to hook men in. She actually kind of came from the wrong side of the tracks.

In the end she had managed to get,a breast augmentation, complete new set of teeth (implants), copious amounts of shoes, clothes and lovely homes. She also flew her cats around the world (as they travelled a lot) so they came with. When they split she got homes and business and two very good cars. She married a friend of mine and he died very suddenly (at around age 38) and she inherited over a million. She is a sociopath or an opportunist and a very clever one at that. So its not always looks, which is interesting I think, but using what you have :)

(Another woman I know is a personal trainer, super hot at 51 and also does the same game. She got the guy she was seeing to pay her over $4000 a month aside from all the other stuff she demanded. He had to put that in her post box every Monday or she refused to even take his calls. Haha! I wish I had this knack at times, I’ve always fallen for church mice.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther