Social Question

Unbroken's avatar

When life becomes a vacuum what do you do?

Asked by Unbroken (10746points) April 20th, 2014

I guess I am going through a period of adjustment. I feel as if I let go a lot of baggage and imposed ideals.

I feel more resilient and more capable of handling uncertainty. I dont know if this will be a sustained feeling but I’m appreciating it any how.

Yet I also feel like this has dramatically changed me as my problems were my interests and were all consuming in my quest for answers.

So now there is a void. I’m not going to label it as anything but a natural progression. A necessary one, but being adrift is only ok as long as it is a temporary state. And all states are temporary but while I’m laid back about my position I don’t want to be lackadaisical, I don’t want to get complacent. Are there any tools or self inventories in order to balance this feeling?

I don’t know that I am describing my situation accurately. Or getting to the gist of it.

Anyone understand have general insight or want to share a personal story?

Observing members: 0 Composing members: 0

11 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

I relax and seek out comfort. (I buy a whole new set of fluffy pillows and buy a six pack of name brand cola.) and wait patiently for life to catch up with my health.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

Life is always a period of adjustment. When I get to a quiet period, I just take a step back and reflect on things. What am I doing, where am I going, that type of thing. That and refocus on where I want to be. Just take some time out and think things through.

Unbroken's avatar

@talljasperman I think I will pass this time but thank you for the suggestion.

@Adirondackwannabe Lol, fair point about life and adjustments. I’m not sure I’m capable of sitting back and figuring out where I want to be. I feel like its something I have to actively seek from outward sources as I’m tapped out. It’s humbling, but I have very little clues and they only take me so far.

gailcalled's avatar

You are using so many abstractions that it is hard for me to get a handle on what you mean. Could you mention some concrete examples?

hearkat's avatar

Having been through a similar transformation several years ago, I suggest you look at it this way: your future is a blank slate – where do you want it to go? I spent a good amount of time working on myself, redefining my priorities and retraining my behavior and thought patterns. I had to re-parent myself, because much of my baggage went back to childhood.

Then I tried to get in touch with the purer me from before I had allowed my drama to rule my life as a distraction from my misery, in order to get in touch with my real interests and find more productive things to focus my energy on. I used online social interactions, like Fluther, to help me come out of my shell, as I am innately introverted but had also been incredibly self-conscious and shy for my whole life. I then used to meet other people and get involved in activities that interested me, and I had some amazing adventures!

Whenever I hit a crossroads in life, I use that opportunity to take a breath and reflect, as @Adirondackwannabe suggests. I think about what my goals were the last time I was at a crossroads, and how did I get off-track? Have my goals changed as a result of these experiences, or are they still essentially the same? How can I achieve my goals, and prevent myself from being derailed again?

zenzen's avatar

Clean the filter.

Unbroken's avatar

@gailcalled I accepted my past, my “baggage” and realized I was over examining, judging and analyzing everything in relation to it. With it my obsession with psychology, sociology, philosophy have waned. It’s almost as if it doesn’t matter. It simply exists.

Before that I was in a job I was very unhappy with and was having difficulty performing on physical level. But I held on for the sake of security. Which was for me something I clung to. Because no one else could provide it for me, I couldn’t let it happen because that made me dependent which is not security. I realized I had to take a risk step out of the comfort zone. I simply couldn’t hold on anymore for many reasons.

My plan was going back to school and I was leaning toward behavioral economics or something along those general lines. But now I’m questioning if that is what I want anymore.

in the meantime I have more free time and I have started reaching out of my zone. But I still do a lot of retreating. I just don’t know what is important to me.

@hearkat Thanks for that, I have tried some of that but it does get me further.

@zenzen how cryptic

ucme's avatar

Shake & vac…it’s all you have to do.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Oh @Unbroken… you always make me think.

You wrote: ”... this has dramatically changed me as my problems were my interests and were all consuming in my quest for answers.”

Boy do I get it. After my diagnosis, that was me until I got treated. I obsessed over the various treatments, potential outcomes, odds, nomographs… and finally decided. It was like a weight had lifted. After treatment, my obsession became recovery. I recognized that while so much of my life is not within my control, certain things – important things – are. I recognized that virtually everything is better when I was in shape. From eating to pooping, sex to sleeping, running to sitting., etc. I exercised a little whenever I noticed I was stagnating. I kegeled whenever I thought of it (I’m doing it now. TMI? ) I stretched. I picked up the yard. I got more interested in the local wildlife. After 4 months I applied for a contract and got it. And life became full again but filled with other things.

Nature abhors a vacuum. One way or the other it gets filled.
My vacuum got filled to overcapacity quickly. :-( If I had the chance I would have spent more time Geocaching and investigating remote areas with a geiger/metal detector.

Your vacuum will eventually filled, too. Fill it with good experiences.

I know this sounds crazy but…. You are in a magical area. See if you can find someone to help show you around. Meetup? Ask your friendly neighborhood librarian for meetup suggestions? Heck, you might set up something on Fluther! :-)

Now do 10 kegels. ;-)

downtide's avatar

Break the seal and fill it with something. More specifically, I seek out a new hobby or pastime. As you say you’ve lost your past interests (your problems) so you now have the opportunity to find something new to replace them.

Unbroken's avatar

@LuckyGuy Thanks so much for the shared experience as well as cheerful outlook and encouragement. Everytime I run across the word kegel I do five, I once read a book where a woman did 300 everyday but I think disregarding her standards I think I have had my work out for the day.

I have as so many suggested signed up for meetup and found two possible groups I might be interested in checking out. I also went and impulsively found a bargain deal on roller blades, not the best but still I am eager to try them outside of the store.

Thanks @downtide I have the urge to rush back into safety, which might seem odd… I feel a little vulnerable and am a natural introvert, but have resolved to at least break the comfort bubble twice a week.

Answer this question




to answer.
Your answer will be saved while you login or join.

Have a question? Ask Fluther!

What do you know more about?
Knowledge Networking @ Fluther