Social Question

Unbroken's avatar

How would you go about meeting people with similar diet choices in a small town?

Asked by Unbroken (10690points) May 29th, 2014

Diet has become increasingly important to me. Celiac with multiple food allergies and avoid gmos. I am always leery of cross contamination with gluten, esp in well when I had a kitchen my kitchen.

Then there is kissing issue, I can’t kiss some one who has just eaten gluten with out them at least rinsing their mouth out but better yet brushing their teeth.

Not to mention other related problems. I have met guys in the specialty food section or at the co op.. but that is slightly rare. And there is always the possibility he is buying for someone. The other thing is some just choose to go g free but allow themselves this or that, or are just sensitive meaning they don’t conform to the higher standard of g free.

I have yet to meet a single male that is a celiac. Even the support group is all female. Or at least whenever I attended.

The couples usually double up on utensils and pans have dedicated g free appliances and such. Some even cook two meals every night etc. Which sounds expensive and bothersome.

Ok I’m jumping ahead on this issue, as far as shared cooking. But sometimes I like to do the couple cooking thing esp since there are limited safe dining choices for me.

I’m bringing this up because my last relationship he got tired of me stopping him from kissing me. Or telling him to brush his teeth, and we only ate two meals together because our dining needs were so different.

Is there a better way to approach this?

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16 Answers

ucme's avatar

Wear a sandwich board with menus of your choice & see the crowds flock.

JLeslie's avatar

Are you able to move if you met the right person? I’m not asking about cross country, but if you broadened you search to within an hour of where you live and let’s say you met the perfect person, would there be reasonable compromise possible about where to live if you eventually moved in together?

I would think some of the online dating sites you can probably list must haves like gluten free. I have never looked at the questionnaires those sites have, but I know they ask questions to find a good match.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I get it. I have a relative with severe food allergies to peanuts, most meats, all dairy products and is vegetarian and has Crohn’s. (Thank goodness for tofu.) His meals are always special and the utensils are either separate of must be scrupulously cleaned. He met a woman (while in college) from India, vegetarian, who completely understands the situation and they have been living together for years.

I am PMing you a link to a website that has a forum specifically for some of these issues. If might be easier to find what you seek.

I’ve mentioned this befroe in other Qs but I almost always brush my teeth after meals. That does not seem like a difficult request to make of anyone.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Do you have celiac disease?

downtide's avatar

In a small town there may not even be anyone with a similar diet. You may need to broaden your area of search. Try internet support groups and see if that leads you to any local, real-space groups.

Dutchess_III's avatar

I’m trying to figure out if the OP is so picky out of necessity or choice.

downtide's avatar

She does mention Celiac and multiple allergies; sounds like necessity to me.

Dutchess_III's avatar

But she didn’t say she HAD them. They could have just been concerns of hers. I’m just trying to figure it out.

JLeslie's avatar

The question was worded like the OP had them in my opinion.

Dutchess_III's avatar

It wasn’t clear. She said, “Celiac with multiple food allergies and avoid gmos.”
There is no medical or logical reason, only emotional ones, to avoid GMO’s so that brought the whole statement into question.

JLeslie's avatar

Well, if she is actually diagnosed with celiac’s that is a real thing. That is different than just feeling icky from gluten.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Right, but was she actually diagnosed? I mean she says, ” ....can’t kiss some one who has just eaten gluten….” somehow I don’t think traces of gluten could harm her. Not like if she was allergic to peanuts or something.

hearkat's avatar

Traces of gluten can be harmful to someone with celiac disease, @Dutchess_III. My mother can’t even lick a stamp or an envelope because many of the adhesives contain gluten. I got the impression that the OP has celiac disease because of how extremely cautious she is.

Finding friends or lovers in a small town is difficult enough, so finding ones with the same dietary restrictions will be a real challenge. I am certain that there are online groups (—and probably some on, through which you may find someone in your region; but in the same town is going to be very difficult.

Unbroken's avatar

Sorry it took me so long to respond. Busy week.

I am celiac. I was diagnosed. The food allergies were tested three different tests. And the gmos is a preference. Though not as much as you think considering there are no valid tests ascertaining its safety. My need to avoid toxins, due to other medical problems, of any sort and the bioaccumulative effect of toxins in food supply or food chain, in this case, glysophates.

Actually its not as much of a choice, these days I can’t eat beef or chicken or pork if it has been corn fed. My body knows the difference even if the packaging says natural, or whatever else.

Well thanks for the tips. Moving might be the best option. 100000 people in the borough which covers hundreds of miles, not much closest bigger town is 5 to 6 hours away. And only one meet up group that I’m interested in.

I still have to check out that website @LuckyGuy I’m going to hold my breath. And brushing teeth after meals is awesome, but only a few people do it.

@hearkat absolutely right about envelopes and stamps I use tape. Even the coffee filters get me. I wouldn’t be so anal if I didn’t have to be. It’s not natural to me, but I got tired of paying.

And @Dutchess_III your right its not like a peanut allergy, I don’t go into anaphylactic shock or suffer respiratory distress. I don’t take offense at your curiosity but if you are curious as to what its like I will take a min to give you a quick overview. I experience inflammation to the point where clothes I was wearing yesterday don’t fit. Joint problems, muscle cramping and not letting go. Migraines, nausea, fatigue, brain fog, rashes on occasion, digestive upsets and that doesn’t entirely cover it but you get the idea. It depends on what I was exposed to how I was doing before hand if I had other recent exposures, what type of food it was and how much.

canidmajor's avatar

Good luck with all of this, @Unbroken, it can be daunting. My niece (who lives in a much more populous area) has some similar issues, and has found other folks through the small university in her town. She posted on a bulletin board in the Health Sciences Department. The group gets together to share cooking and shopping info, and socialize.

And I cannot imagine that it matters or is any of our business, for the purposes of this question, whether or not the OP has been officially diagnosed or not.

Dutchess_III's avatar

Thanks for the info @Unbroken. It’s clearer now.

You’d almost have to find someone with all the same food problems that you have and I would think that would be extremely difficult. Not only that, to find someone you actually like and who has all the same problems would be almost impossible.

I would think finding someone you like is the first step. And if they care about you in return, they should be willing to take your needs into consideration. But it would not be fair to expect someone to completely change their life style to match yours. I mean, to expect them to never eat pizza or pasta again just because you can’t just doesn’t seem fair.

Is it possible to have a relationship with someone even if their eating habits are different from yours? My husband and I rarely eat the same things. He fries to much stuff and he’s into desserts. Bleh!

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