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Justified's avatar

Does my teacher hate me?

Asked by Justified (34points) May 29th, 2014

This is the second year (not in a row-thankfully), that I have a teacher I call Ms. Swan behind her back. Nobody likes her, she’s really arrogant. She only likes the mean girl, Ella. I am a really good learner but she humiliates me in front of the class if we are learning something new that I don’t know. I’m a shy person. I love to read John Grisham novels, but she banned them! She says I have to be reading books for my level, and that means Peppa Pig. Not actually Peppa Pig, but books that don’t interest me anymore. She gives me bad grades in my best subjects, behaves very rudely around me, and has only once in the two years said a nice thing or complimented me. I’m very well behaved, clean record. I’m in seventh grade. Today, though, she told me off for looking at my watch. MY QUESTION: WHY DOES SHE HAVE A PROBLEM WITH ME, OR AM I JUST IMAGINING IT?! Thanks;)

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19 Answers

CWOTUS's avatar

Welcome to Fluther.

One statement early in your presentation is a tip-off to me to be very wary of what follows: “Nobody likes her.” When I hear statements like this: “everybody knows that…” and “nobody would ever…” it’s a flag that the speaker is attempting to ignore, belittle or marginalize anyone who would have a contrary opinion. That kind of statement is a tool used by those who would suppress dissent. I’m not saying that you are such a person, but you are using that person’s tool.

It may be that some others have formed this opinion of your teacher and you have simply gone along with that opinion, partly because of some of the incidents that you relate and perhaps partly because you don’t want to go against “what everybody thinks” and appear to ally yourself with “the mean girl, Ella”. Don’t feel too bad about yourself for that; it’s part of the human condition, and you’re certainly not the first person to be carried along by a tide of others’ opinions.

Let me propose a better question for you to ask – and for you to answer, or seek answers for: “How can I get along better in this class and with this teacher?”

That example – and you could surely come up with examples of your own – is an “empowering question”. It’s a question that looks for and leads to positive actions and solutions. Instead of asking “What is wrong with the world?”, which leads to examples of all the bad things around – and there’s no lack of them – and no hope, no resolution, asking “How can we make the world better?” leads to positive actions.

I’m not saying that asking a better question will lead to the solution to all of the world’s problems, but it’s the best way to start looking for them and working on them one at a time.

Even if we answer your current question with “Yes, she hates you” or “No, she absolutely does not hate you” then it leaves you no better off. If you look for “How can I find a way to enjoy this class more?” then… maybe you can.

Good luck.

DaDuede's avatar

To hate , someone should have a reason ! ask her personally what’s the reason behind her rudeness for you :-) hope she’ll reveal the truth ;) as simple as that :)

ucme's avatar

Depends, if she teaches geometry i’d rule it out
Math, then you might just have her number
History, put it behind you, it’s in the past

lornahayes's avatar

CWOTUS is right if you don’t like her then she isn’t going to like you.

DipanshiK's avatar

This is very common spot, that you’re in.
Almost 1 out of 5 students go through this issue during their middle or high school. Well, I would advice you to not judge the teacher. Maybe it’s something that she’s going through. You should talk to her about the problem politely. You’re just in seventh grade, I am sure she’ll understand what you’re going through.
Talk it out, that’s the only way to outgrow this problem!

lornahayes's avatar

Yes i agree.
She will respect you for it if you go and talk to her about it.

GloPro's avatar

Were you looking at a wrist watch or a cell phone when she got upset about you checking the time? I believe there may be two sides to that detail.

She cannot ban your choice of reading material at home. I’m so proud and impressed that you read books… Keep it up! Read what interests you, just not in her classroom. That’s an easy fix.

Why do you call her Ms. Swan behind her back? Why would you call her anything behind her back? Just call her by her preferred name. Would you like someone who called you things behind your back? Why make it harder on yourself. Show some maturity here.

Finally, change your attitude and thinking about learning something new that you don’t know. You are in 7th grade, and her job is to teach you things you don’t know. That should not be a ‘humiliating’ experience. You may feel embarrassed because you are shy. It is OK to admit you are learning, and to respond in a positive way. Say “Thank you, I didn’t know that!”

You can only control your actions and reactions. If you try harder to be positive towards her, she may do the same for you. Good luck!

marinelife's avatar

What do other students that you are friendly with think of her? You could complain about her, but my advice is to ride it out and shake the dust of her off your life afterwards.

josie's avatar

See above.
You don’t like her, why should she like you in spite of it?
But take heart, you are clearly not alone. She doesn’t like anybody except Ella, whom you imply you don’t like either.
It may not always be true, but it usually is, that people dislike others for a reason.
Your reason for disliking the teacher is probably that she has an expectation of your behavior and participation in her class. That isn’t really a reason to dislike somebody, but it will do at around age 12 or so.
Grown ups, on the other hand usually dislike people for a real reason. Are you giving her a reason?

ARE_you_kidding_me's avatar

There are three types that this can fall into. The vast majority will be the ones who see your potential and are giving you a hard time to help you get to the next level. You need to befriend and work with those. I’m thankful to have had several like this. The next will be the ones who are going through a rough patch in their lives and are drained emotionally. They’re not putting up with anything and you may be pushing their buttons. Cut this person some slack and be respectful. The third will be somewhat rare and you need to steer clear of them if possible. I have had atleast one sociopath as a teacher who made it a game to mess with students. She would target them and make their lives miserable for no reason except for her enjoyment. Since we don’t know you or your teacher we cannot distinguish this for you. The first two you should talk with politely and warmly. If it is the third don’t, you will just make it worse. Do not acknowledge that you are on to her, don’t speak to anyone about it unless there is abuse. Just avoid drawing attention from her as much as possible and move on.

gailcalled's avatar

If there is a real sense that all the students, except for mean Ella, feel the same way, you can bring your parents in to help sort things out. If this woman has slipped off the rails, the school administrators needs to know.

If it is a problem between you and her, you are getting unjustifiable bad grades in all your subjects, and you don’t feel comfortable addressing it (as a seventh grader, it could be very difficult, I agree,) ask your parents for some help.

Pandora's avatar

Is it possible yes. I don’t actually agree with a lot of people on this subject because I had 3 teachers in my life time who didn’t like me. But I will say 2 didn’t like me because they could see that I actually thought they were calling the lessons in. No real effort. Just trying to get their pay check. The 3rd one actually didn’t like any of his students. He had the highest rating failure of any teacher. He actually hated teens. Told us he hated us but we couldn’t get rid of him because he had tenure and the union would take his side. Long story.

Anyhow, adult conversations would’ve been useless on any of these teachers. One liked to promote racism in class and the other liked to talk about his life all day in class and then have us go home and read the material. He was a history teacher.
My point is that so long as she is doing her job and is not making your grades to suffer than ignore her if you can. But rudeness is not permitted in my book. I talked to my teacher in 8th grade and explained I was just there to be educated and not talked down too and that I will be respectful to people who show me equal respect. So I would appreciate if they kept their feelings to themselves and simply instruct me. He did so for the rest of the year. We were not buddies but we were not enemies either.
Oh, I did have one other wack job teacher that year that hated us all except for one. My friend who kissed her butt. She too was prejudice and told our whole class that she missed being in africa teaching because the kids would bow to her and never question anything she did or said and if they misbehaved she was able to physically reprimand them. She was a real jewel.

I had some others who were tough but I didn’t care so long as I they provided educational information and aided me in learning and passing the class.

Talk to your teacher about her expectations of your behavior and lay out your expectations of her behavior. It also worked for my daughter who had a teacher who didn’t like her and her grades started to suffer for it. I was going to handle it for her but I thought it better that I not be involved unless it wasn’t resolved. She spoke to him and it worked out. She was shy as well even though she was very social. She was extremely shy with adults but not her classmates and he thought she simply didn’t like him. He approached me a few days later to discuss what they talked about. He said he wasn’t aware that he was being biased against her till she pointed out how he seemed to favor the boys and was harsh on the girls, but her especially.

rojo's avatar

There is a possibility that she does not but it is much more likely that she doesn’t care one way or the other and that you are simply reading much more into it that the situation warrants.

Justified_'s avatar

BTW guys (my new acc), she didn’t like me for 2 years! I started disliking her recently, since she was always mean to me. and the good students

Justified_'s avatar

@josie I dislike her because I behave the really well in class and participate. She only credits Ella, who doesn’t even listen in class, and just treats her differently in general. I understand where you’re coming from. She sometimes DOES say, though, I don’t participate, but I REALLY do, she just never asks me, maybe once or twice.

Justified_'s avatar

@GloPro my watch. We can’t have cells at school. and she yells at some people if they don’t know something, that, luckily, never happened to me.

Rollercoaster's avatar

No teacher hates children.

longgone's avatar

^ Why not?

gailcalled's avatar

As an admitted 12-year old, OP is no longer a fluther member.

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