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Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

What type of angry person are you, a “spewer”, a "stuffer", or a "leaker"?

Asked by Hypocrisy_Central (26783points) June 11th, 2014

I watched a video on relationships and the speakers said when it comes to anger people fall in three categories:

”Spewers; they get loud and abrasive the moment they are upset and don’t care about looking like a fool throwing a tantrum and screaming insults at someone.
”Stuffers”; they will sit on it, won’t say anything to the point no one knows they are upset. They will stuff things, and let it fester and stew until they snap and spew it out loud and hurtful word wise.
”Leakers”; they don’t scream and shout, but they don’t let it fester. The drop lugs and barbs in a passive-aggressive manner. If you do not let them use your extra vehicle for example, they will say something like ”Well, guess in order to get to my appointment I have to lose 40 minutes on the bus with all the crazies when I could be there in 10 minutes if you were not so tight with a car you don’t drive anyhow”, etc.

What type of angry person are you, a “Spewer”, “leaker”, or “stuffer”?

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22 Answers

Coloma's avatar

None of the above. I can be aggressive, but I try to be assertive.
I communicate clearly and directly in the moment.
If I become aware I am building annoyance at a person I take a look at my own state of mind first to make sure it is not just me in the moment.
Otherwise I take a firm and direct approach.

I hate passive aggressive crap, and indirect “communication.”
If I become aware someone is a PA type I will avoid them like the plague and have minimal contact if I am forced to cope with that shitty personality flaw. Ugh!

gailcalled's avatar

There are healthier choices than the three you cite.

Dutchess_III's avatar

None of the above. If it isn’t important I ignore it. If it is, I try to reason. If they won’t have any of that shit, I walk away.

zenvelo's avatar

None of the above. I am a communicator.

ragingloli's avatar

I am the axe murderer type.

Seek's avatar

None of the above.

I have a great range of angry voices. And I know how to use them to their best advantage.

johnpowell's avatar

Stuffer for sure.

flip86's avatar

I don’t like arbitrary labels. The situation determines my reaction.

johnpowell's avatar

This is kinda like being a “Independent” in the political spectrum. You have a type. Own it.

josie's avatar

I don’t get angry any more. I’ve had my fill of it, and it is bad for the spirit.

ucme's avatar

I don’t get angry I get even.
Except for when inanimate objects piss me right off, then I smash things.

filmfann's avatar

None of the above. I am a reasoner. People try to fight with me, and yell at me, and I quietly state my position. If you really piss me off, I will psychoanalyze you, and tell you why your poor toilet training led to this.

cookieman's avatar

I am a spewer, except I’ve never screamed insults at anyone. That is low. My “spews” are more rants and raves.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

May I add a fourth category? I’m a “Leaver.” When I get very angry, I walk away and physically remove myself from the situation. My determined and non-negotiable departure makes a strong statement, yet I don’t say anything that I might regret later.

Mimishu1995's avatar

A stuffer + leaver. I try to remove myself from the situation and find somewhere to be alone. I don’t want to meet and talk to anyone until I calm down. Anyone who talk to me just add more to my anger, but most of the time I manage not to scream.

johnpowell's avatar

@SadieMartinPaul :: That pretty much makes you a stuffer. If pressed you would explode.

Assume that we are talking your mom being racist at every sunday dinner from here to eternity. Eventually you would snap.

Coloma's avatar

I should clarify and substitute “aggressive” for “bold.”
As in outspoken but not a jerkette. lol

El_Cadejo's avatar

It depends who I’m angry with. If it’s someone I don’t care and they’ve sufficiently pissed me off or are trying to fight with me it’s usually not pretty. People yell and scream but I stay calm(on the outside at least), that’s part of what pisses them off I think, and then I am so brutally honest in all the wrong ways that it makes people feel horrible about themselves.

I’ve noticed this “ability” of mine a couple years ago. I do feel bad about it though. When I get into arguments with those I care about, especially my fiance I tend to just tell them I need to excuse myself from the situation. They get mad at me for a time for just “walking away from it”, but in the end it works out better. I come back to the original problem with a clear head and am able to talk over what upset both of us rather than saying something I don’t really mean and hurting someone I care about.

AshLeigh's avatar

I’m the one that decides how important this relationship is to me, and goes from there.

Berserker's avatar

Those categories all sound like porn terms.

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

@johnpowell “That pretty much makes you a stuffer. If pressed you would explode.”

No, not at all. I stay very calm and composed, and not just externally. I prefer actions to outbursts.

I had a very unfortunate situation two nights ago (yep, the Virginia congressional primary) that caused me to walk out of a large event. Briefly, I was insulted and offended in front of an entire room. I didn’t cause a scene; I just left quitely. When my husband met me at home to discuss the problem (and tell me that I’d done the right thing), I didn’t explode at all. Since then, several people have called to tell me that what happened was outrageous, that I didn’t overreact, and that my disappearance was a smart move. But, no explosions.

That’s not the end of the story, though. The offending party will have serious regrets, but everything that I do will be rational and dignified. No tantrums; no hissy fits.

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