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Mimishu1995's avatar

How are/were your parents to you?

Asked by Mimishu1995 (14748points) July 16th, 2014

From time to time I read some posts in this site and I found out that some people here didn’t/don’t have a good relationship with their parents. So now I’m just curious of how you think of your parents. Who are/were your parents to you? Role models, someone who are extremely caring? Someone you dislike? Or just people?

Are there any reasons for your opinions?

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11 Answers

talljasperman's avatar

My mom was on my side and is a good friend… my dad had cable and a car and ate out at restaurants with me. On summer vacations I spent living with my grandfather. He was an awesome cook, with real meat in beef stews.

Aethelwine's avatar

My parents are very supportive and loving. I’ve complained about my mother in the past, but I would do anything to have the chance to spend time with her again. She’s only been gone 6 months now. I miss her so much and I think about her every day.

My dad is amazing. I wish everyone was as lucky as I am to have such an incredible dad. I talk to him at least twice a week and visit as often as possible. He’s also a great grandfather.

filmfann's avatar

My Dad has been gone 30 years, and he still dominares every conversation I have with my siblings. My Mom and Dad were wonderful parents. Sure, we had minor issues, but mostly they were very supportive, mostly.

Pandora's avatar

I think it is difficult to bottle parental relationships. After years together where there are extreme changes, it becomes difficult to label such a long relationship. Relationship with your parents change when you enter teenhood. Then it shifts again when you are an adult. Then it shifts again when you are an adult with your own children. Then it shifts again when they are older and depend on you more and then it shifts again when you become caretaker. But in a nut shell, my dad died when I was barely 19 and he adored me and I adored him. I couldn’t ask for a better father. My mom and I were close till I became a teen with my own mind and she went through menopause and lost her mind. Then we became friends after my father died but we were still on the fence and then closer still when my children where born. Now she is older needing assistance and she resents it and resents us when we try to help.

Growing up she was a good and caring mom. And I guess still is. But for all the talking we do daily, I wouldn’t say we are very close, because she has never learned to trust anyone. Not truly trust like she did my dad. She isolates herself from ever having a real loving relationship with any of her children. I’ve learned to let it go. It use to bother me (I guess some days it still does) but I don’t have any expectations that she will ever change.
I know that she loves us in her own way and is protective of us and her grandchildren, but she doesn’t really let us in. She would have to risk possibly being hurt and she won’t do that.

JLeslie's avatar

My parents were ok. They fought a lot with each other and screamed at us a lot. They were pretty cool about most things. Fairly liberal, open, trusting, and I felt I could talk to them, especially my mom, about pretty much everything. My dad was always talking about different business ideas and too often it felt like being in school. My mom liked to watch TV and swim, she still does. They both have great senses of humor. She just called me a few hours ago to tell me a stupid joke that I can’t even remember right now.

Haleth's avatar

They were really great people but kind of mediocre as parents. Like, I remember as a little kid, being worried about the family’s finances, or after their divorce, taking negative messages from one parent to the other because they didn’t want to talk to each other, and feeling like I was expected to pick a side.

I’m the oldest and they were both in their mid-20s when I was born. (I was an accident.) And I can’t even imagine myself as a parent at this age. Me and my friends are way too irresponsible to handle something like that. Now that I’m in my mid-20s, I can really understand it from their angle. Imagine having children with an ex you can’t stand! And having to see that person every other weekend, and get the state involved to collect child support! Yeesh.

At the same time, I hope I can be more settled when it comes time to start my own family. It would be nice to give them a stable, comfortable upbringing.

ucme's avatar

I looked up to them, no choice, they were much taller than me at the time.

ZEPHYRA's avatar

Even better than I could have wished for in my wildest dreams!

CWOTUS's avatar

My parents are dead to me.

But that’s only because they are, like, literally (and I am not using the word in a figurative sense) dead.

Like @filmfann noted, however, they color most moments of most days. From my mother I inherited a great vocabulary, love of reading and word games and a sly sense of humor, and from my father, who claimed he was “bad at math”, a habit of calculation, enumeration, logic and sequential planning, as well as a standard of honor to attempt to live up to. He had a great sense of laconic humor himself; I still find myself seeing things in the workplace and in life and thinking, “I have got to tell… oh, yeah. Can’t.”

They were fantastic parents. Great role models and wonderful memories. I miss them always.

livelaughlove21's avatar

My parents were great growing up. I was the baby and they spoiled me. My step-father came into my life when I was 4 and has been my dad for all intents and purposes ever since. I always felt loved growing up, and I think I turned out pretty great.

My mom became disabled due to a back injury about 15 years ago. She’s on a lot of medication for the pain and, while she does not abuse it, it has really messed with her head. She’s a completely different person than the woman that raised me – she’s needy, high-strung, and just plain crazy at times. She’s a very hard person to get along with. One minute she’s telling me I’m the only kid she has that turned out right and the next minute she’s telling me I’m selfish and lack compassion. I strongly suspect some type of mental illness, and she sees a psychiatrist, but whatever he’s doing doesn’t seem to be helping at all.

My step-father is cool at times and completely maddening at times. He’s got a bad temper, he’s selfish, and he does what he wants to do even if it puts others in danger. I get along with him better than I get along with my mom, but they both drive me nuts half the time. And their marriage is far from ideal – they don’t even like each other anymore, and yet they stay together for some unknown reason.

My whole family is dysfunctional, including my siblings. I’m the only one that doesn’t have serious problems. They have all changed quite a bit since I was a kid, but I think part of it was being in the dark as to what kind of people they actually are. I was just a child and I didn’t know half of the stuff going on. Now that I know, it’s hard to have respect for them.

They’re all people. Just because they’re my family doesn’t mean I have to like them, get along with them, associate with them, etc. I do still have contact with them, but I’ve mentally separated myself from them to avoid the useless stress and drama that seems to follow them around.

dxs's avatar

We don’t really see eye to eye, but I’m still lucky to have the parents I have.

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