General Question

Lunar_Landscape's avatar

Have you ever spent an extended amount of time without family or friends of any kind?

Asked by Lunar_Landscape (301points) November 10th, 2014

If so, how did it end up happening? And how did you handle it? If not, how do you think you would handle it? Could any of you handle it well?

This kind of thing happening in the first place seems like it’d be pretty rare, and so does it being handled well, which is why I ask.

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7 Answers

Dutchess_III's avatar

Yep. My sister and I slowly drew apart. It was mostly her doing. My Mom lived 2000 away in Washington and my Dad lived 2000 away the other direction. I have another sister and she moved to California.
It saddened me, but I just dealt with it. I rebuilt my own family over the last 30 years. This year we’ll have 18 people at Thanksgiving!

chewhorse's avatar

What is ‘extended’ time? Weeks.. Months.. Years? I’ve had years of extended time from my friends and family (not by choice) as I’ve outlived most of them. When I was in the military (during nam) I didn’t see or hear from them for over ten months and only received mail within 3 years so I’m not catching your point.. Service people are always spending extended time from family and friends (not by choice). And in every situation it isn’t easy to face but handle it we do without regret. I never went to college but that too would be a factor. Never had a row in the family as we were all pretty tight nit living within 30 miles of each other (all 35 of us.. mom had 8 siblings and dad had 5 so, yeah a big family affair).

marinelife's avatar

When I moved to Florida from Seattle, it was a huge culture shock. My immediate family lived in the Seattle area, the climate is mild and pleasant there. Florida was horribly hot and humid. Also, Florida is in the Bible Belt and people tend to be conservative there, whereas the Seattle area is fairly liberal.

I had no friends, no institutions, and my husband worked evenings and weekends. It put a strain on our marriage. I had to find some groups to join and meet people who liked similar things. I started volunteering for the group that ran the nearby off-leash dog park, I joined a writer’s group.

After more than four years, I had built a good circle of friends and acquaintances. Right then, we moved away and I am back to square 1, but we are in driving distance of several old friends so I am not as lonely as I was in Florida.

BeenThereSaidThat's avatar

My “family” that I grew up with live 3,000 miles away from me. I have three sisters and a brother that I have probably seen five times in almost 50 years. My family is my husband, children and grandchildren. I left my old life many years ago and never looked back. I probably know more about my friends than I do about them.

josie's avatar

The closest I ever got was basic training, and I made a bunch of friends after a couple of weeks.
So, no.
If you have neighbors, you can make friends. If they have friends, you can make more friends.

downtide's avatar

I don’t have a lot of contact with family as they are scattered all around the country and none near me. But I have never been without friends.

squirbel's avatar


I’ve always longed for family. I watch tv to watch families. I want to raise my own.

I was adopted [7yo] into a family where I was a bargaining chip. Not only that, the parents divorced shortly after my joining their family. No one ever hugged. No one ever had family talks. No one ate together. No family vacations. No family outings. Holidays were bare, and we weren’t poor.

I was left behind one summer after traveling to Atlanta for a wedding. There was no notifying me as to why – so I went to a private college with my other cousins. I actually wanted to go to Rice because Rice wanted me, but the extended family did not want to travel that far. So – to the private college I went.

Long horror story later – no one called or checked up on me for a decade. I’d call, but the conversations were very bare. I got married, divorced. No kids, and I came to home state. I was hoping that by being closer to them they’d call or check up. Even though I call – no one calls.

I’m a loner as a result. I never leave the house except for work and errands. I’m ok this way, I survive.

People need love, people. Don’t deprive them of it their entire lives.

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