Why do some folks have such hazy memories of their childhood?
I remember most of mine from the time I first set eyes on my new sister, when I was 3. That may be my first memory.
I remember a bed shaking in the middle of the night around that same time. Mom said it was probably an earthquake.
I remember playing with my best friend, who lived next door. I remember her mom spanking me for something her kid did! She spanked her kid too, but I was outraged at being blamed for any of it.
I remember my friend’s little brother, Randy, used to watch TV, lying on his back with his head pointed toward the screen.
I remember, “Silly Wabbit! Trix are for Kids!”
All of that was before I was 4.
I remember lots and lots of stuff. If I focus on one particular memory, other memories come in around it.
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25 Answers
I don’t remember much before I was about 5…. and that is actually a good thing.
I was about 5 when my father was kicked out of the house. Much of the time before that was spent getting beaten.
God, I’m so sorry. How could a grown man beat on a toddler?
Many people who have difficult childhoods such as @jerv don’t recall those periods in their lives. My ex’s father was a mean drunk after 7 o’clock every night, and her parents’ marriage wen through a really bad spell from the time she was 9 until she was 16.
About that time my ex started drinking and using drugs, and when she was older and got sober she remembered when she was little until she was nine, but has a huge gap in her memory, with no remembrance of her early teen years except when she was off visiting her Grandmother.
That’s what I was wondering about. Sometimes therapists try to get people to remember those lost memories. Do you think that’s a good thing or a bad thing?
@Dutchess_III Reconstructed memories are controversial because they are easily influenced by the therapist.
I think my sister has implanted some false memories in her mind.
I don’t remember much of childhood at all. Right up to when I was older. I think I’ve blanked it out. Possibly because there were some pretty bleak times in there. I remember odd bits and pieces, but much of it is just gone.
Sounds like a protective mechanism. The brain is an amazing thing.
I just thought of something tho. My Dad took tons of 35mm pics and had them set a slides. Pretty consistently we’d have family night, eat pop corn and look at the slides on a projector. Dad would tell us the stories, or we’d say, “I remember that beach! It was full of crabs!” I wonder if that isn’t reason I seem to have a rich memory of my childhood.
I agree with the defense mechanism answers. And this has to do with the memorizing ability as well. I know a lot who don’t remember anything about their childhood even though they led a good life. I myself don’t remember anything before I was 5 too.
to much smoking wacky backy or drinking fungi tea perhaps
I had a horrible childhood and my memories start at 2. Not sure why it can be so different for a lot of people, but I think in certain cases for me, it would have been better if I wasn’t able to remember a lot of it.
@Dutchess_III Nope, I just remember a ton. Many of my memories are also positive, though, thank god. Most of my family was actually shocked by the things that I remember, when they first realized how old I would have been at the time.
It’s a really interesting question actually @Dutchess_III. I wonder what role memory, or the ability to compartmentalise and even repress certain things, plays in the protection of our mental health? Nobody really spoke to me about my childhood. So there weren’t regular prompts about things that happened, positive or negative. I do remember some things, and things under the age of five, but so much of my memory has gone. I’d love to remember more. I’ve even considered hypnotherapy but I’m concerned I might remember things I’d rather not.
Too many bad memories. Or good drugs. Or booze.
The premise is incorrect. I have many memories of childhood, and they are crystal clear. Speak for yourself.
Depends on the person. I have some pretty clear memories from grade school, but the are spotty. Nothing complete or linear. Like snippets.
My two years in junior high school are an almost complete blank. Both home and school life. I only have one or two memories from this time, and they’re not pleasant.
Ninth grade is back to being spotty, but pretty good — and I remember most everything clearly from tenth grade onward.
I am fascinated by the fact that memories are impermanent and susceptible to change over time.
I remember so much and very clearly. Even exact conversations, feelings, smells etc. As if it all happened yesterday!
Everyone’s brain is different with different capabities for memory. People with incredible accuracy for memory actually have a part of their brain that is larger.
The filing system in the brain is better in some people. They connect a memory in many different centers of the brain and they recall, or pull out the file well, while other people lose or misplace the file. Repeating the same thing over and over again increases the likelihood there will be memory. Children who move at very young ages might forget the places and people before the move, because their entire surroundings change.
Memory also is affected by emotion, and foggy memory or no memory of somethingncan be a defense mechanism. People in depressions can have crappy memories, and I think that helps them in many ways. It can be frustrating if the person still needs to be functioning in daily life though.
Most people I know who have very incomplete memories of childhood remember their childhood as bad ones. I think this can work for or againts the person. There is the possibility that they have blocked very traumatic times. What I also see happen is they block the good times and only focus on bad times, and sometimes overexaggerate having a “bad” childhood. The brain can be very selective. Obviously, serious abuse is serious period, and it doesn’t matter if things were good the majority of the time. I am just talking about more minor things that did not happen often that almost every parent has made mistakes and should probably be given a pass here and there.
When my friends first started having kids and would talk to me about some frustration with them, I almost always could identify with the kid, remembering what it was like when I was young. It seemed like parents either lose the ability or some of them just didn’t remember.
I only have a brief memory of specific instances before age 4. From age 4 on I have a lot of memory. I started kindergarten age 4, which might have something to do with it.
I remember—or at least think I remember—many details about my earliest childhood forward. But so many of my memories are hazy (in the way dreams are) and there are so many gaps as I grew older that I fear any memoir I wrote would be more fiction than fact—and in any case, far more interesting to me than to others.
I asked a related question that had some good answers. I found this link to be pretty helpful. (Thanks to nikipedia for posting it. Is she still around?)
@josie And exactly what was the “premise” you saw?
In kindergarten we were given certain assignments every day. They were more like exciting opportunities. The teacher had us represented by cute baby animals. I was a skunk, and I always got excited when the little skunk showed up when it was my turn to, say, change the calendar.
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