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Mariah's avatar

What are some of the little signs you're in love?

Asked by Mariah (25863points) December 30th, 2014

Feeling like a feel-good question.

Now that I’m in love I’m shocked at how different it was from the feelings that I previously thought might possibly count as love.

I experience it in some funny ways. One of the most noticeable ones is that I worry a stupid amount about unlikely terrible things happening to my boyfriend. I get nervous when he travels and stuff. I’ve never done that with anybody before.

What are some of the little signs you’re in love? The ones that aren’t always depicted in the rom-coms.

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21 Answers

hearkat's avatar

For me, I knew it was true unconditional love when I had absolutely no fears or worries. I am at peace during the times we spend together and equally at peace when we are apart. I know that nothing is guaranteed and that anything can happen; but I am not afraid of being without him. We are not together from any sense of need, but rather because we choose each other every day. As much as the loss would hurt, I know my life has been better for having shared such a deep, complete love.

LornaLove's avatar

I can relate to the ‘worry about my SO’. I want him to be warm enough, eat enough and sleep enough too. I’ve never felt that before quite so profoundly. Also, I used to be a terrible flirt, no one really even interests me enough to flirt with!

JLeslie's avatar

That he is a fixture in my life like my mom, dad, grandma, sister—he is my family. It took 6 or 7 years into marriage for me to feel like that. I was always comfortable to be myself with him, always was excited to see him, loved spending time with him, and felt committed. Yet, something changed along the way where the relationship really deepened.

zenvelo's avatar

The feeling of absolute joy at having her in my life.

stanleybmanly's avatar

The biggest sign is the departure of rational thinking and behavior. Bumping into furniture, emptying your wallet with a fury reminiscent of the age of cocaine. Lots of grinning, and neglecting your usual urge to mistreat those around you. And of course, there’s the absolute blindness to any faults in your beloved, regardless of the stark visibility of those defects to everyone else! There outta be some sort of vaccination against the crippling disease of chronic debilitating lovesickness.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

You know it is love over lust when:

• You will sleep on bricks that he may sleep in a feathered bed.
• You will make due with stale bread and water so that he can eat stake and drink a cold pop (flavor of your choice)
• You would sit on the floor that he may sit in a cushy recliner.
• You would be cold so that he can wear a warm jacket.
• You would go thirsty to make sure he had a cool drink.
• You would say you were wrong even when you were not.
• You will get up in the wee hours of the morning to make him a snack if he asked.
• If he loved it, you would swallow, or try very hard to
• If he loved it you would attempt to be buggered by him.
• You find yourself wanting to by him shirts, belts etc. you believe complement him
• You would be willing to walk three miles or more that he may ride.

Those are just some small things, but even more so, you would do those things expecting nothing in return. If it takes equal reciprocation, or you getting something equal back out of it, you are not truly in love.

Mariah's avatar

^ I believe you are right, that those could be symptoms of love. I also believe that love is only whole when it’s mutual, and that if it were mutual, he wouldn’t want me to do any of that, unless I truly wanted to.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

^ I also believe that love is only whole when it’s mutual,...]
The great con people do to themselves. If that were so, no one would ever feel they were in love with anyone who did not love them back mutually…. Thought you wanted something different than rom-com idea of love?

Mariah's avatar

I’m sure someone can be in love without it being mutual but like I said, I do not believe that love is whole. I do not think the feeling of unrequited love could ever equal the feeling of loving and being loved in return.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@Mariah Of course not, it always feels better when the person you love, loves you as much or more. More than not people believe they are in love with someone who may not even know they are alive, or worse yet, do know they are alive but don’t care for them. That still is not enough of a deterrent to stop countless people from ”falling in love”. What they do not realize that they care more for those they love than they care for themselves, which is the basis of true love. Maybe the other person would not care that you did any of the aforementioned things, but even if they did, it would not affect how you loved them, flaws and all.

zenvelo's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central What you describe isn’t love, it’s sublimation, it’s loss of the self in order to please the other. That’s not love, it’s co-dependence.

JLeslie's avatar

I’m with @zenvelo.

I agree live makes us want to please the other and even sometimes sacrifice our own desires, but if there is not a mutual or reciprocal dynamic then that relationship will suck the life out of the submissive one until that person grows so much resentment they crack. I also think the one be catered this likely to lose respect or treat that person terribly over the long run.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@zenvelo What you describe isn’t love, it’s sublimation, it’s loss of the self in order to please the other.
That might be the reason so many relationships fizzle and burn. The opposite is a more self-centered selfish ”me first” method that will surely not work better in the long run.

@JLeslie I agree live makes us want to please the other and even sometimes sacrifice our own desires, but if there is not a mutual or reciprocal dynamic then that relationship will suck the life out of the submissive one until that person grows so much resentment they crack.
Then they would be unevenly yoked and should have never been together in the first place, sadly too many find that out too late after the pop and fizz has worn off of the relationship, or they did not get what they wanted from the relationship, and if they can’t get what they want, then they are out of there.

zenvelo's avatar

@Hypocrisy_Central Your use of the word “yoked” carries a connotation of two people who cannot move without the other. That’s not love. Love is choosing the fulfillment of the self in order to be a better partner. It is in the personal growth that one becomes able to love fully.

Earthbound_Misfit's avatar

I too worry about my husband when he’s travelling. Sometimes if he’s driving somewhere and the weather is terrible, I worry then too. Not to excess, but it crosses my mind that I hope he’s okay. He will phone me to suggest I leave work early if he sees there’s a storm or heavy rain closing in. If I’m late, he’ll phone to make sure I’m okay.

And I look forward to seeing him again when he goes to work and I’m happy when he walks through the door at night. I love being with him and as has been said, I feel totally at ease with him and I trust him completely. We’ve both got our own lives, but I cherish the time I spend with him.

Sometimes, we finish each other’s sentences or he’ll start make a suggestion or bring something up I’ve been thinking about that day. We’re quite in tune. I’m sure we must have both read or seen something independently but it is odd how often it happens.

Hypocrisy_Central's avatar

@zenvelo Your use of the word “yoked” carries a connotation of two people who cannot move without the other.
To one who may be fearful of being tied to another because they actually want to be an individual functioning in a unit as a team, it may sound that way. I see it as an individual willing to give that up to be like-minded and part of a team where the team is more important them their individuality. If you are not going into a union like that, expect failure sooner or later.

Love is choosing the fulfillment of the self in order to be a better partner.
Love is the edification and goodwill of your partner in a selfless, unselfish, conditional way.

extremely_introverted's avatar

My bf loves to read Top Gear magazines. I have no interest whatsoever about cars and he knows it haha. I mean every time he tries to talk to me about cars I usually show him my sad bored face lol. But everytime I see him very excited and happy reading the magazine, I suddenly become very interested about it because I have this strong desire to buy him his dream car someday for him to be really happy. I ask him though to find one that is not too expensive but can make him very contented lol. I look ridiculous because I would really get the calculator inside my bag and compute the prices haha. And just like you I also get easily worried of his safety and health. My bf’s mom has cancer and so when he gets sick, I’m the one who look after him in the hospital, talk to the doctors, choose the room. I’m like his caregiver lol. I also visit the company his working to process hospital papers like his PhilHealth. I think the more I have deep feelings on a person the more O.A (Over Acting) I become but I cannot help it. My sisters are annoyed at me because of that. They would jokingly tease me, “Here comes the O.A.”

stanleybmanly's avatar

@extremely introverted. Yes you’re in love. I both admire and pity you, and sincerely wish you good luck.

extremely_introverted's avatar

@stanleybmanly Thank you. Hmm, I’m just curious why do you pity me?

stanleybmanly's avatar

Pay no attention to that. I also envy you.

This is an old post. How did you come across it?

extremely_introverted's avatar

I just look for some questions to answer and click on the topic “love” i think.

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